Toddler running from you?

[M&LMom]

I have the hardest time with my 4 year old, who has some special needs. It is so frustrating because I want her to enjoy the freedom to explore, but 90% of the time she will eventually bolt. My 20 month old is an angel in this department. It is a huge help and it makes me so proud of her. If it's ever just me and my four year old out, I make it a point to work on this and praise the heck out of her when she does well.

[Teexie]

My DD is only 19 months and has been doing this since she learned to walk. The "stay close to momma or you will go in the cart/timeout/whatever" talks do nothing at this point. She is also very attached to me, but apparently that makes zero difference when she sees a dog/shiny car/store Christmas tree display/bird/whatever.

At this point we just don't give her the opportunity. We start every outing where it would be dangerous for her to run away (basically every public place other than the park) in the stroller or cart, or being held. Nice to see others have gone through this and have well-behaved older toddlers I feel like outings will be 1000x more fun and easier when she is able to hold my hand and stay nearby. She doesn't particularly like being in the stroller or cart for long periods of time, so it makes some outings difficult. A lot of the time she stays home with DH while I run errands.

[MsGiggles]

Originally Posted by MarchMama2010 OP, I love your siggy, we wood be good friends IRL, I think. When DS was going through that phase, I would make sure to not give him the opportunity in dangerous places - parking lots, etc. He was in a cart or a stroller or I would carry him. In stores, he lost privileges when he ran away, which meant that instead of walking he had to sit in the cart and get buckled in. We were very consistent with that, and he learned quickly. At other places, like the library, if he tried to run away we would just leave. It was a huge pain to go through all the work of getting ready to go somewhere just to turn around and go back home, but we only had to do that a few times and he learned not to run away in those places, as well.

You could tell them about the new rule, then specifically plan some outings at times like 20 min before nap or when you plan to stay home anyways, to let them out and test the boundaries of the rules. When they run, too-bad-so-sad and right back in the house you go!

I did this with DD eating snow outside - right before nap I would get her uber excited about a trip to the park, head outside and linger near a snow bank til she took the bait, then right back in while she tantrum-ed. A couple days of that and she was cured of snow-eating

[s@hmommy]

Originally Posted by MsGiggles You could tell them about the new rule, then specifically plan some outings at times like 20 min before nap or when you plan to stay home anyways, to let them out and test the boundaries of the rules. When they run, too-bad-so-sad and right back in the house you go! I did this with DD eating snow outside - right before nap I would get her uber excited about a trip to the park, head outside and linger near a snow bank til she took the bait, then right back in while she tantrum-ed. A couple days of that and she was cured of snow-eating

You just made me feel better about myself. I did this to ds two days ago, he likes to run from me when we go outside. He always goes toward the street (not busy but still) so we talked, I warned, he ran, we went in for nap time. Hopefully it works!

[MsGiggles]

Originally Posted by s@hmommy You just made me feel better about myself. I did this to ds two days ago, he likes to run from me when we go outside. He always goes toward the street (not busy but still) so we talked, I warned, he ran, we went in for nap time. Hopefully it works!

Good for you! Don't feel badly; You are educating him in a very important life lesson (not getting yourself killed when it is totally preventable)!

FWIW, my DD took a couple days to be cured; after all, that one time could have been a fluke, so she HAD to test the boundary again! Crazy kids.

[DottieHarley]

We went through this phase just recently! I nipped it in the bud by doing the following in a SAFE place -mostly meaning our sidewalk in front of the house. One side is our yard, the other side is a green space with houses across - ie no roads, no traffic, i can see her at all times.
- DD is loose, starts to run in the other direction
- i smile and say "ok bye bye" in a super cheerful normal voice
- i turn and WALK AWAY (still watching her if course)

Her reaction at first was PRICELESS! Sooooo confused... Aren't you supposed to be MAD? Wait, don't leave me!

That killed the run away instinct :-) and seems to have limited the sprinting/hiding in stores too. If she doesnt walk nicely on a streetsude sidewalk, or parking lot, she is carried like a baby. She doesnt like that.

[luvsviola]

Originally Posted by DottieHarley We went through this phase just recently! I nipped it in the bud by doing the following in a SAFE place -mostly meaning our sidewalk in front of the house. One side is our yard, the other side is a green space with houses across - ie no roads, no traffic, i can see her at all times. - DD is loose, starts to run in the other direction - i smile and say "ok bye bye" in a super cheerful normal voice - i turn and WALK AWAY (still watching her if course) .

Wish that worked for my kiddo. DS could care less if you walk away.

[crunch!910]

When DS went through this, I just stopped taking him places. I know it isn't possible for everyone, but we just worked it out so that he just never left the house. When he really started bugging us about leaving the house, we'd explain we can't trust him not to run off. So he'd tell us he wouldn't do that. When he did it again in public, again, another loooong amount of time basically quarantined to the house. (Dead of winter so no parks either!) It honestly worked!
We also have a rule that must ride in the cart or hold onto the cart or someone's hand at ALL times. When he was old enough he did want to walk, it was a lot of repetition. Don't want to hang onto cart or hold hands? you go back in the cart(promptly followed with whining/crying/tantrum - ugh!) He's 3 now, and its much easier to go out in public with him.