Sleep training

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by pacanova I'd wondered about that/silent reflux but she does fine lying on her activity mat, changing table, etc. She just won't fall asleep/stay asleep unless she's being held (or in a moving car). I've pretty much cut out caffeine other than the occasional chocolate. I'm not a coffee/tea drinker and didn't have pop often anyhow. Might try dairy next to see if that helps.

DD1 was 31 weeks and DD2 came a little early as well, like 36 weeks. I wonder if it's more common in early babies? Hang in there mama! Sleep training/CIO is only one method to establish good sleep habits.

[pacanova]

Thanks for the support and advice ladies! I know it won't be like this forever, just hard to remember sometimes at 3am lol

[Joyful Tie Dyes]

Originally Posted by luvof3boyz Break her trust in you? For the rest of her life? That is pretty loaded and a scare tactic. Please be nice to this tired mama.

Yes, this is what I firmly believe (as well as many respected medical doctors including our own pediatrician). A newborn only knows that Mommy/Daddy will respond to their needs. When you refuse to respond to their needs it breaks their trust in their caregivers. They don't 'train' they give up. Who know whether it's for the rest of their life or not, do you really want to take that chance? I didn't.

It's not a scare tactic and I'm sure this tired Mama would rather try more gentle methods and not harm her newborns trust in her. I know I do.

I understand tired, I've had 2 babies with reflux that can only sleep when held upright. I've gone days only getting an hour or two of sleep. I have nothing but empathy for this Mama but I am also glad that I was given this info for my babies.

I found Dr. Sears sleep book quite helpful.

[songbird516]

I don't know if this has been mentioned, but it's possible that she will act differently with the daycare provider. My first was in daycare from 6 weeks old and she went to sleep just fine with no fussing with her..but with me she needed to be nursed to sleep. So it might not be as much of an issue as you think. Also, in daycare there are a lot of distractions that might make napping easier.

[sandrc]

Both my babies would only sleep being held until I realized they prefer their tummies. They sleep good when I put them down on their Timmy to sleep. I know it's not recommended but babies don't know that. They only know what's comfortable to them. My 16 month old will still wake up crying if I try to put her down on her back. She has always liked sleeping on her tummy with her arms and legs tucked up underneath her.

[crunch!910]

My 8 month old still needs to be close to me to sleep. If I nurse him to sleep laying down, I can roll away once he's asleep, but if I nurse him holding him and try to put him down, 8/10 times he'll wake back up unless in a deep sleep. They are only little once, and it goes by, so... soooo fast. I wished I had worried less about sleep with my first, and simply spent more time cherishing him. Also, since my first child who I did sometimes let cry to sleep(colic, depression and just not as informed as I am now), I learned that leaving babies to cry actually raises their cortisol levels, and excess cortisol in the brain can actually k ill neurons! Babies are NOT meant to cry and the most terrible thing this country and its doctors/pediatricians have ever told mothers is that it is "good" for them. Disgusting!

I know you must be so tired. Being a good mama is hard work, but it is worth it. You'll be able to look back and be proud of what you sacrificed to give th best to your children. I look back at my frist child's infancy and feel so much regret, but I know when I look back at my second child's infancy, I'll feel nothing but pride and happiness that I gave him the best I possibly could and cherished him as much as humanly possible. Hang in there... before you know it, your baby will be THREE like my oldest.

[NYCVeg]

Since no one has done so, I wanted to recommend the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." It doesn't present a single, simple answer, but provides a lot of different, gentle strategies for families to try.

When my daughter was <4 months old, the only way to get her to sleep was to 1) nurse, then 2) swaddle her up, and 3) turn her on her side in our arms and bounce her gently. Once she drifted off, we would put her in her co-sleeper. Dh was much better than this than I--I think he wasn't afraid to be a bit bouncier!

I should add: we never did any kind of CIO, sleep training, etc. None whatsoever. By 2, she was an AMAZING sleeper. As a toddler, she was never one of those kids who was scared of the moment or separation, who kept wheedling for extra time, who wanted the lights on, who called us back a million times, etc. Our friends were always amazed at how well, how long, and how easily she slept (and still does). I'm sure some of this is attributable to personality, but I also believe that part of it is because we never made bedtime a "scary" time for her. She has always trusted that we will be there for her if she needs us, so she doesn't need to worry about going to sleep on her own. I know some families have success with sleep training (at older ages...NOT 5 weeks), but you certainly don't need to do any kind of training to raise a child who has healthy sleep habits.

[bluedaisyma]

Originally Posted by BellaPepper Please do not sleep train your baby. Infants need to have their cries answered its how they learn to trust people and to have healthy emotional attachments. They do not yet need to sooth themselves asleep, you have many years to teach them that and I promise they will learn to sooth themselves eventually. Usually this happens naturally during toddlerhood in a gradual way. Follow your instincts and pick that baby up. Love, cherish and nurture them that is what they eed.

[mrspopo]

At that age I was pretty frustrated. Her sleep patterns changed so rapidly at that point, but it really bothered me that she needed to be rocked to sleep and would wake when set down. I could tell you something along the lines of "it's such a short time that they need you, cherish these moments blah blah blah" but I know that's not what I wanted to hear when I was going through it.

One thing that was important to me was to not nurse her to sleep, I would keep her moving and awake (she was a super sleepy baby so this was a challenge), because I didn't want nursing to be associated with necessary to fall asleep.

I also went with whatever worked - sometimes that was rocking her to sleep in the bucket carseat, or swing. Not often, but we did this for sanity-sake. I didn't want to establish these as habits so I felt bad, but really it didn't cause any problems.

I did emphasize being laid down still awake (over and over again sometimes), and I think through persistence and a fairly easy-going baby this worked well. I remember having a couple of evenings where we were getting ready for bed and I thought "why bother, we're just going to be up anyways" lol. It does get better, I promise!

[emerino]

I haven't read all the responses, but wanted to give my experience.

I don't personally believe in letting a baby cry until 6 months, and then it's not always even necessary. It took both my DDs 1 time. My DS was like your baby. I had to nurse him to sleep and sleep with him for the first 2 months because I couldn't put him down. All 3 of my kids SSTN by 2 months without doing any kind of sleep training. Hope this helps and hope you start getting sleep soon!