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Old 11-30-2012, 02:54 PM   #1
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UPS just delivered 2 ginormous boxes to my front porch. From Crate and Barrel no less.

Background info: my mom visited in me in September and SAW first hand how small my new kitchen is and I've been telling her ALL FALL about how I'm in declutter mode and such. She also knows I have a super-nice, space saving set of stainless mixing bowls.

So what is in box #1? A set of FIVE chunky, space hogging mixing bowls in OFF WHITE and red stripes... which class nicely with my snow white, red, and stainless kitchen stuff.

Box #2 is from my Gma who went shopping with her. It contains 6 hideous mugs. 2 large and 4 child-size. The design of them is great and they are nice mugs, but they are red and brown gingerbread man design which is truly hideous. And anyways, a set of seasonal mugs when all my dishes have to fit in one small cabinet???? Super sad, too, because I need mugs and would have loved some nice ones that were simply not ugly.

So. Now what to do? My mom will LOOK next time she's here. She will be really hurt if they are not here. There's no CB to exchange anything at here, but I do go to KC sometimes and could hold onto them to exchange there. Maybe I am nuts, but I was actually sitting here crying trying to figure out what to do without offending them mortally. It's just that they KNOW my kitchen is tiny and that I have been DECLUTTERING it like mad for 3 months.

WWYD?

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Old 11-30-2012, 03:19 PM   #2
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Re: need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a ch

Wow, that's tough!

I can't say for sure what I'd do, but I think that I would be honest and let her know that I appreciated the thoughtfulness, but I'd really like to exchange them for things that I could use more. I don't think I could keep them if I had limited space and knew I wouldn't use them much and/or didn't have need for them, and it'd definitely be better to be upfront and hope for the best, then to exchange them and have her find out when she asked to see them.

sorry she put you in this position
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Old 11-30-2012, 03:29 PM   #3
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Re: need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a ch

I think you just need to be honest with her even though you are worried about offending her. Just be gentle and explain the kitchen situation and let her know repeatedly how much you appreciate her generosity.

This way you don't have to keep things you won't use and hopefully it will avoid situations like this in the future.
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Old 11-30-2012, 03:34 PM   #4
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Re: need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a ch

I guess it depends on what reaction your mother and grandmother would have. If it would go over alright I would do as the a I've poster suggested. If it wouldn't go over well then only put them up when mom and grandma are over. Once they are nolonger looking to see them then get rid of them.
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:05 PM   #5
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Re: need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a ch

Okay, I have been in that situation except it was a Williams Sonoma food processor. Tears and everything. This is what I did.

I went online and figured out approximately what they spent on the items, then picked out stuff I could actually use (my first set of nice frying pans, but I was very picky about the pieces--only a few and only what I would truly use, not a whole set). Then I called Williams Sonoma, explained that I would like an exchange, and arranged for a pickup with an order for my new stuff in the box. Then after it arrived, I called her and thanked her up and down for the pans. She was confused, she had sent me a food processor. Oh well, they must have made a mistake! And I LOVE my new frying pans, so don't worry about calling the store to fix it, Mom.

A bit deceitful, yes. But I couldn't bear to hurt her feelings, and they would have been badly hurt. And I couldn't stand the thought of all that money and space wasted.
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:10 PM   #6
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Re: need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a ch

another vote for honesty. I totally understand what you mean though. I'm trying to figure out how to list some old gifts from my mom on craigslist without her knowing....but they check it all the time! I just can't bring myself to practice what I preach....I can't be honest.
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:41 PM   #7
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Re: need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a ch

Quote:
Originally Posted by harmoni247 View Post
another vote for honesty. I totally understand what you mean though. I'm trying to figure out how to list some old gifts from my mom on craigslist without her knowing....but they check it all the time! I just can't bring myself to practice what I preach....I can't be honest.
I would tell you to be honest too, but if it were my mother in law I wouldn't be able to do it. My dh was a total mama's boy and she was devastated when we got married so I'm always scared of doing anything to upset her. The way their family is you just graciously accept what you're given and I quickly learned after refusing to let dd play with some toys they gave her when she was younger just to let her have them and take them away later if I was worried about them. She gave dd some Disney Body Wash for her birthday and made a big deal about how I had to approve the gift even after she had given it to dd and I just said thank you, but after reading the warning label (which said it was known to cause UTI's and to discontinue use if a rash developed and to KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN for goodness sakes) I took it away and threw it out. So I guess it depends on the relationship you have with her and how upset she would be. My mom might be a little offended, but I would probably tell her anyways b/c she'd want her money to go to good use in the end. If it were my mother in law I'd smile and thank her and say nothing. Bowls and cups are not worth destroying a relationship over. Could you return them without saying anything?
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:59 PM   #8
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Re: need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a ch

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melinda29 View Post
Okay, I have been in that situation except it was a Williams Sonoma food processor. Tears and everything. This is what I did.

I went online and figured out approximately what they spent on the items, then picked out stuff I could actually use (my first set of nice frying pans, but I was very picky about the pieces--only a few and only what I would truly use, not a whole set). Then I called Williams Sonoma, explained that I would like an exchange, and arranged for a pickup with an order for my new stuff in the box. Then after it arrived, I called her and thanked her up and down for the pans. She was confused, she had sent me a food processor. Oh well, they must have made a mistake! And I LOVE my new frying pans, so don't worry about calling the store to fix it, Mom.

A bit deceitful, yes. But I couldn't bear to hurt her feelings, and they would have been badly hurt. And I couldn't stand the thought of all that money and space wasted.
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:40 PM   #9
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Re: need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a ch

Personally I'd just tell my mom that I really, truly didn't have space for any of it and you'd like to get *insert item* that you really need. But my mom is understanding like that. I don't get why people buy gifts and don't include gift receipts, I always do so if someone needs something different they can get it. But anyways I digress.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melinda29 View Post
Okay, I have been in that situation except it was a Williams Sonoma food processor. Tears and everything. This is what I did.

I went online and figured out approximately what they spent on the items, then picked out stuff I could actually use (my first set of nice frying pans, but I was very picky about the pieces--only a few and only what I would truly use, not a whole set). Then I called Williams Sonoma, explained that I would like an exchange, and arranged for a pickup with an order for my new stuff in the box. Then after it arrived, I called her and thanked her up and down for the pans. She was confused, she had sent me a food processor. Oh well, they must have made a mistake! And I LOVE my new frying pans, so don't worry about calling the store to fix it, Mom.

A bit deceitful, yes. But I couldn't bear to hurt her feelings, and they would have been badly hurt. And I couldn't stand the thought of all that money and space wasted.
That's very clever!
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Old 11-30-2012, 10:13 PM   #10
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Re: need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a chill pill need a ch

the switchout is very clever! they did include gift receipts, but they're only good for 90 days and i'm not sure we'll be going to kansas city w/in that time.

i'm probably going to try to return the stuff and buy something i'll use so when my mom comes next i can tell her then and show her what i got.

i just do not have storage space for things to just get them out when the gift giver is around, but in the end i think this will work out.

christmas. feel the love.
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