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Old 12-10-2012, 10:44 AM   #71
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

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If you have to have X number of whatever, it's a problem. If you are like, it's wine so it's ok, no it probably isn't. If I said, "I have a couple shots of Jack every night after the kids are in bed or at dinner," people would think (as would I) that there was a dependency issue, so why is wine ok? If your five year old says "Mommy needs wine, teehee," it's not cute - it's a problem. I actually read someone on Facebook talk about people who like Cokes/carbonated drinks like they were hopeless unhealthy scum, and in the next sentence, loooove her wine.

So I guess for me, if it's habitual, if it's everyday, if you hide it, if you feel like you must rationalize it, if you can't stop today (as in, you must wean yourself instead), if your kids notice you're drunk, then that's way too much. That's not the end all be all, there are obviously other situations where it's problematic.
First bolded, many cultures drink wine every day and do not get buzzed nor drunk. Wine is different then hard liquor. Even in some countries like France and Italy, you may be able to have wine with your lunch at work and it's no big deal. Most wine has very little alcohol in it, has health benefits, and in cultures where wine is common they don't drink an entire bottle a night.

Second bolded, again, I don't see why everyday is a problem When not pregnant we have wine everyday with dinner. We're not alcoholics, we don't get drunk, we don't get buzzed. It's part of our culture and heritage. It's nothing to hide from, be ashamed, nothing that the kids can't see, it's not taboo. I think it all comes down to how you treat alcohol.

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Old 12-10-2012, 10:46 AM   #72
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

A thought occurred to me: Parents shouldn't drink any more than they would ever want to see their children drink.
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Old 12-10-2012, 10:59 AM   #73
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

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A thought occurred to me: Parents shouldn't drink any more than they would ever want to see their children drink.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:00 AM   #74
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

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Originally Posted by Dory View Post
If you have to have X number of whatever, it's a problem. If you are like, it's wine so it's ok, no it probably isn't. If I said, "I have a couple shots of Jack every night after the kids are in bed or at dinner," people would think (as would I) that there was a dependency issue, so why is wine ok? If your five year old says "Mommy needs wine, teehee," it's not cute - it's a problem. I actually read someone on Facebook talk about people who like Cokes/carbonated drinks like they were hopeless unhealthy scum, and in the next sentence, loooove her wine.

So I guess for me, if it's habitual, if it's everyday, if you hide it, if you feel like you must rationalize it, if you can't stop today (as in, you must wean yourself instead), if your kids notice you're drunk, then that's way too much. That's not the end all be all, there are obviously other situations where it's problematic.
I dunno. My gf's dad has a glass of scotch every night after dinner and has for as long as she can remember. He enjoys it. After dinner I enjoy a bowl of ice cream. How are they different? I don't think him having a drink every night makes him an alcoholic any more than my after dinner snack makes me a glutton.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:10 AM   #75
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

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I dunno. My gf's dad has a glass of scotch every night after dinner and has for as long as she can remember. He enjoys it. After dinner I enjoy a bowl of ice cream. How are they different? I don't think him having a drink every night makes him an alcoholic any more than my after dinner snack makes me a glutton.
Waaay upthread someone posted that alcohol is a vice and therefore they believe children should never witness consumption of it. I wondered if this same person also thought the same of dessert or any other small thing that people do to "spoil" themselves a little.

I love ice cream and share it with my children!
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:13 AM   #76
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

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A thought occurred to me: Parents shouldn't drink any more than they would ever want to see their children drink.
Love this sentiment!
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:20 AM   #77
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

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I don't get it either. If I said, I'm from TN so we have moonshine everyday at lunch, that wouldn't be cool. If I said, "I'm in my 20s so I have a Jager bomb or 2 with breakfast everyday, that would = drinking problem.
Which I get on the one hand, but on the other hand neither of those things is really a cultural difference. Different cultures have different attitudes about what is acceptable. Sometimes we think it's right, sometimes we think its wrong, but it is what is, ya know?
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:23 AM   #78
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

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A thought occurred to me: Parents shouldn't drink any more than they would ever want to see their children drink.
I don't think that's true for everyone. I'm not at all bothered by the idea of our LOs drinking pretty hard and regularly in their 20s. For example if they never get to drink champagne on the beach at night with someone they love, or drink whiskey around a campfire with their buddies or spend all night drinking beer and arguing about politics I'd feel sad for them. So many of DH and my best memories of being young and single involve drinking. I don't drink like that now and I actually don't plan on allowing our children to drink in our home underage. But if they spend a few years of their 20s hung over. We don't really care.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:32 AM   #79
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

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A thought occurred to me: Parents shouldn't drink any more than they would ever want to see their children drink.


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But if they spend a few years of their 20s hung over. We don't really care.
I do agree with this too. Looking back I wasn't a big party animal and envy people that had a blast during those years. I had some great moments but not as much as some of my friends. As long as they aren't hurting others and can drink responsibly I hope our children can enjoy their life, look back and laugh about it later on.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:35 AM   #80
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Re: How much drinking is acceptable when youre raising children?

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I don't think that's true for everyone. I'm not at all bothered by the idea of our LOs drinking pretty hard and regularly in their 20s. For example if they never get to drink champagne on the beach at night with someone they love, or drink whiskey around a campfire with their buddies or spend all night drinking beer and arguing about politics I'd feel sad for them. So many of DH and my best memories of being young and single involve drinking. I don't drink like that now and I actually don't plan on allowing our children to drink in our home underage. But if they spend a few years of their 20s hung over. We don't really care.
I feel the same way. I think my own parents feel the same way too.

I actually really like the way my parents modelled alcohol for me, even if I don't like the way my mum is modelling it now for my brother. I feel like we got as much age appropriate information about it as we needed to let alcohol be a fun and safe part of our lives. On a tangential note, I cannot get over the legal drinking age here. I think it's absurd, and a little bit offensive.
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