C-section shame

[IloveDoris89]

Originally Posted by SamanthaLove88 Very true what EmilyTheStrange said! I think I scared off all further comments with the accidental death stare that nurse received as I haven't heard any since. People who think that way have had amazing births and good for them. If it weren't for modern medicine either I would be dead and/or I would be missing some kids. That's all I'd say!

I tell people this all the time. Funny enough my OB has even told my mother if we were back in the stone ages I would have died in child labor...

So happy I am alive now and not then!

[myclanof6]

I somehow missed pp's post about how she "got off easy"
Are you kidding me?!? Yeah, the pain from having your abdomen and uterus ripped open is so much better than having your vagina stretch open like its supposed to. Not that having an episiotomy or tearing is fun (never had one obviously but friends and family have) but at least you are able to cough, sneeze, laugh, pick up your newborn, scratch your foot and sleep in your own bed without feeling like you just tore your stomach open. It's so much fun being strapped to a table and not getting to have the experience of having your NB placed on your chest seconds after birth.
Sorry, mini rant over. :/

I am so happy for people that are able to have vbacs. They are able to experience both sides and truly have compassion for moms on both sides. Not saying only vbac mamas have that compassion, I know plenty of mamas IRL that have never had a section and have told me they hope they never have to experience that.

[IloveDoris89]

Originally Posted by myclanof6 I somehow missed pp's post about how she "got off easy" Are you kidding me?!? Yeah, the pain from having your abdomen and uterus ripped open is so much better than having your vagina stretch open like its supposed to. Not that having an episiotomy or tearing is fun (never had one obviously but friends and family have) but at least you are able to cough, sneeze, laugh, pick up your newborn, scratch your foot and sleep in your own bed without feeling like you just tore your stomach open. It's so much fun being strapped to a table and not getting to have the experience of having your NB placed on your chest seconds after birth. Sorry, mini rant over. :/ I am so happy for people that are able to have vbacs. They are able to experience both sides and truly have compassion for moms on both sides. Not saying only vbac mamas have that compassion, I know plenty of mamas IRL that have never had a section and have told me they hope they never have to experience that.

Thats the worst... those first happy moments and you cant even laugh at cute little newborn faces or anything with out being brought to tears from pain. My husband made me laugh when our daughter was born and even though it was only six months ago I have the memory of him making me laugh and it being painful instead of remembering what he made me laugh about.

[SamanthaLove88]

Originally Posted by IloveDoris89 I tell people this all the time. Funny enough my OB has even told my mother if we were back in the stone ages I would have died in child labor... So happy I am alive now and not then!

Absolutely! I am so thankful and blessed for my children at they are actually able to be here with me. My last born was a serious godsend. We almost lost him not once but twice and I stand by my decision as their mother to deliver them the best survivorable way (if that's even a word). Keep your head held.high and shake off the RIDICULOUS comments. Even though I do know a person who scheduled a c-section like they would a hair cut. Doesn't put us in the same category!

[SamanthaLove88]

Originally Posted by myclanof6 I somehow missed pp's post about how she "got off easy" Are you kidding me?!? Yeah, the pain from having your abdomen and uterus ripped open is so much better than having your vagina stretch open like its supposed to. Not that having an episiotomy or tearing is fun (never had one obviously but friends and family have) but at least you are able to cough, sneeze, laugh, pick up your newborn, scratch your foot and sleep in your own bed without feeling like you just tore your stomach open. It's so much fun being strapped to a table and not getting to have the experience of having your NB placed on your chest seconds after birth. Sorry, mini rant over. :/ I am so happy for people that are able to have vbacs. They are able to experience both sides and truly have compassion for moms on both sides. Not saying only vbac mamas have that compassion, I know plenty of mamas IRL that have never had a section and have told me they hope they never have to experience that.

yes and I couldn't hold my daughter for 6 hours!! I had no feeling in anything to be able thold her. I got double the dopey meds as whej they started the surgery I actually felt it!!! It was HORRIBLE! And to think I would actually CHOOSE it that way. Who would? Thank god my husband had her the whole time he would rub her up on me and hold her on my chest. I really did NOT enjoy feeling like a vegetable.

[Superblonde Mom]

Wow. I've never had anyone try to make me feel bad about my 3 c-sections. 1st one was medically necessary, and the other 2 were my 'choice', after doing much research and coming to the same conclusion as you --- my body just isn't designed to deliver the other well quite as well. Maybe people have 'tried' to make me feel bad and I didn't notice.

At any rate, Mama, don't you feel bad about living in a time and place where we are fortunate enough to have safe, effective deliveries. There is no glory in grunting and groaning and dying over required surgery.

[jaelynsmommy61607]

The problem is so many Drs tell women they physically couldn't deliver vaginally and they're full of it. So much distrust has come from this. I even suffer from this. If I was told this I'd probably get a second and third opinion. I do believe there are women that cannot deliver but the percentage is really low. For the record I'm not challenging you on this just giving perspective.

I do feel sad for women who have a csection. Because I've been on both sides. Having a unmedicated home birth doesn't make you a hero. But its so freeing.

[myclanof6]

Originally Posted by jaelynsmommy61607 The problem is so many Drs tell women they physically couldn't deliver vaginally and they're full of it. So much distrust has come from this. I even suffer from this. If I was told this I'd probably get a second and third opinion. I do believe there are women that cannot deliver but the percentage is really low. For the record I'm not challenging you on this just giving perspective. I do feel sad for women who have a csection. Because I've been on both sides. Having a unmedicated home birth doesn't make you a hero. But its so freeing.

I completely agree that there are a lot of Drs that are scalpel happy. It is sad that there are many moms that don't know that they may have a choice in a vbac. They just go with the recommendation of the Dr who said that since they'd had one then it's unlikely they will ever have a successful vaginal delivery. It took until after the delivery of my second (change Drs) to find out why I couldn't. I have a narrow pelvis and a tilted uterus that "probably" couldn't birth anything bigger than a 6lb baby. It's just not a risk I'm willing to take.
It frustrates me that there are women who trust these Drs (no fault of their own, who wouldn't trust them?) and think they have no other choice but a section.
It isn't "my choice" but it gets me a healthy baby and that's what matters in the end.

[raymark]

Originally Posted by IloveDoris89 I am not ashamed of my c-sections, I truely cannot deliver vaginally, my c-sections did not result from labor complications. But sometimes I think other mothers expect you to have shame from it. With that being said I feel like a lot of "all natural" "water-birthing" mama's make me feel like crap about having c-sections. I find alot of people have good intention but should really keep their mouth shut when it comes to opinions about how someone should deliver unless they are a doctor that HAS had a peek at my insides. Other wise theyre not qualified to tell me that I "can" or "should" have a VBAC. I had my first c-section 4 years ago, I had my second last May. Through those years I have come across old and young women that sometimes make feel like less of a mother because I deliver by c-section. I hate it. The worst is when they say "I'm sure you made the best choice for you" I did not get a damn choice! My body doesn't work the same as yours, the only choice I realistically had was to live or die fom child birth. C-section is not a "choice when your hooha holes don't line up, its a must. grrr! -endrant.

[EmilytheStrange]

When people say 'your body was made to do this', I laugh, because I feel that's a fairly ignorant statement.

Women and babies used to routinely die in unassisted childbirth. It has always been dangerous for some women. Sure, some women have ideal childbirthing bodies, but modern medicine has allowed lots of other worthy women be mothers as well.

I want my vbac, but I'm also very wary because I don't want a personal agenda to come before the health of my child. Hopefully conditions will be ideal, but we'll see.