C-section shame

[coquelicot]

I had a C/s last time because DD flipped face up and got stuck in my pelvis during labor. I'd rather have had the surgery than a broken pelvis or a dead baby who couldn't get out! Trying for a VBAC this time, but apparently there's a chance this baby could also flip. If he does, I'm skipping the rest of labor. And I won't feel guilty about it.

[Ainmemphis]

I've only had one person actually challenge my doctor's decision for a c-section and I didn't even know her! I had a baby who was double footling breech and a Dr who I trusted; what good does a comment "you could have found a midwife willing to deliver vaginally" help after the birth is over?!

[Happy Mommax4]

It isn't "my choice" but it gets me a healthy baby and that's what matters in the end.[/QUOTE]

:this: totally agreed, again only a momma whose had inductions but gimme that any day w a healthy babe over the alternative I faced

[Sweet_Fantasy_Fox]

I have had 3 c/s and I am not ashamed of having my babies this way. I have had a few friends ask why I don't try a vbac and for me its a heck no, out of the question, no thank you. My first was a vag birth and traumatic, I am a small percentage who just can't birth a baby that way and I am fine with it. I am happy I was able to add to my family and have more children, c/s isn't the easy way out by far, no idea where anyone would get that pretty ignorant stance about a c/s but it has allowed me to have the children I want and bring them into the world safely.

[Rdesonia]

I think it has less to do with an individual and everything to do with a lot of peoples current distrust of Doctors and the high C-section rate.

I went to an ob after I had my son. It was just for a pap. I was not on birth control. I did not have insurance and was a self-pay. The doctor told me I needed to be on birth control because I "couldn't have a child naturally with my stature". I sat there as he lectured me about my need for birth control because I didn't have insurance and would need a c-section. I then very calmly told him that instead of being concerned about my financial status, he should read my chart because I have already given birth vaginally with no rips, tears, or complications of any kind and at that point in time was not sexually active. It made me very angry that just because I'm 5 foot tall in this doctor's mind I would have to have a c-section.
My sister was in labor for over 36 hours before she had a c-section with her first child. I realize that not everyone is able to have a child vaginally and it is not always the best course of action for everyone. But my own experience with being told I would "need" a c-section makes me very leery. I would probably advise any friend of mine to get a 2nd opinion especially because the recovery time on a vaginal birth is much faster than a c-section. I don't think people are trying to judge anyone that has a c-section or decides not to have a v-bac. I would never judge someone that was put in that circumstance because any mom would chose a c-section and a live baby over a natural birth with a possible bad outcome. We make medical choices based on the information we are given by our doctors. Those decisions are not "wrong" nor do strangers have the right to second guess the choices a mom makes. I do think patients have every right to question the information they are being given and to get a 2nd opinion if possible. A 2nd opinion is empowering a person with more information to make the right choice for them. (And that 2nd opinion would NOT be leaving the hospital in the middle of a breach birth to ask a midwife! That is just a "crazy" comment)

Anyway that is my view from the other side of the fence. Please don't see all the comments made about c-sections or c-section rates as a personal attack. I know I'm probably guilty of it. It's not meant to be a personal attack or a criticism of the medical decision of an individual. It's a criticism of the a medical profession that has high rate of intervention.

[kelpie169]

Never had a c section but I totally agree. I ended up with 2 inductions and had epidurals with all three of mine. By choice. And there are some women out there who treat me like I'm the antichrist because I chose an epidural. Any way you get a baby out of you-you win! You get a baby at the end of it so doig it without meds or in water or in front of an audience or whatever these people preach about dorsnt get you a medal or anything. It's none of their business and they're no better than anyone else.

I had a friend give me such grief for having an epidural with my first (which was a three day labor and 2 separate inductions after beig a week and a half late). I chose an epidural with my second as well and I was in labor for over a day with him. She had her baby about 5 months after my second. She went on and on and on and ON for months about how much better she was than me since she did it naturally. She is in NO way natural in any other part of her life either and I really am which apparently busts her up or something. ??? Anyhow-come to find out-her labor lasted all of 2 1/2 hours with hardly any pain. Yeah that's so not the same...

Anyways my point is people should butt out. It's not their business. As long as you get the baby out-which is inevitable anyways-you win! Yay!

[jaelynsmommy61607]

Originally Posted by myclanof6 I completely agree that there are a lot of Drs that are scalpel happy. It is sad that there are many moms that don't know that they may have a choice in a vbac. They just go with the recommendation of the Dr who said that since they'd had one then it's unlikely they will ever have a successful vaginal delivery. It took until after the delivery of my second (change Drs) to find out why I couldn't. I have a narrow pelvis and a tilted uterus that "probably" couldn't birth anything bigger than a 6lb baby. It's just not a risk I'm willing to take. It frustrates me that there are women who trust these Drs (no fault of their own, who wouldn't trust them?) and think they have no other choice but a section. It isn't "my choice" but it gets me a healthy baby and that's what matters in the end.

I totally agree. I wish it wasn't this way. I was never told I couldn't have a baby. I had low fluid with my first two which lead to a failed induction and csection. Then a repeat section/failed vbac. Finally I found a care provider help me take care of my body during pregnancy. I feel so lucky to have had a Vba2c. I know so many never get the chance.

[jaelynsmommy61607]

Originally Posted by Sweet_Fantasy_Fox I have had 3 c/s and I am not ashamed of having my babies this way. I have had a few friends ask why I don't try a vbac and for me its a heck no, out of the question, no thank you. My first was a vag birth and traumatic, I am a small percentage who just can't birth a baby that way and I am fine with it. I am happy I was able to add to my family and have more children, c/s isn't the easy way out by far, no idea where anyone would get that pretty ignorant stance about a c/s but it has allowed me to have the children I want and bring them into the world safely.

Not easy at all. I was still needing help getting out of bed the next day with both c/s. With my vbac I walked two miles the next day.

[IloveDoris89]

Originally Posted by Rdesonia I think it has less to do with an individual and everything to do with a lot of peoples current distrust of Doctors and the high C-section rate. I went to an ob after I had my son. It was just for a pap. I was not on birth control. I did not have insurance and was a self-pay. The doctor told me I needed to be on birth control because I "couldn't have a child naturally with my stature". I sat there as he lectured me about my need for birth control because I didn't have insurance and would need a c-section.

Isn't that crazy! My friend went in for a pap an her ob told her too that she had to be on birth control and she's like "or I just don't have sex" lol

It's not so much that I take people's comments or rants about c/s personally because I too feel the same about a lot points that people make. It's when they find out I had c/s's and make comments like "your choice" and say "you can have a vbac" "you should get a vbac" or even " you should get a second opinion" because even something like that I feel is an assumption that they shouldn't be making. They shouldn't assume that I haven't already gotten a second or third or even fourth opinion. And I feel like the only people who should feel comfortable saying that are family.

To me it's like telling someone who has home births to second think it. They'd probably be taken back and then would probably go on to explain that they are taking all necessary precautions.

But anyways what I'm getting at is its more when things are said directly to me that I get my panties in a bunch. I'm sure I'm not the only one whose sensitive about it. I mean who wants to be lying on a cold operating table cut wide open staring up at the ceiling surrounded by tons of strangers terrified when they deliver their baby? Not me. So I got a stick up my butt when people ***** about how horrible it is because its MY birthing experience and I'm already trying to make the best of it that I can, I don't need people who never even had go through it constantly remind me of bad it sucks.

[3 ladybugs]

I am friends with many women who not only give birth vaginally, but many at home. NONE of them have made me feel bad that I have to have a c-section. When they hear how my first c-section was done, they agree that they would do the same in my shoes. My first c-section was for my triplets at 24 weeks, it is a classical c-section and honestly I have a HIGH risk of uterine rupture if I even think of trying a V-Bac. The c-section for my triplets was done to give them the best chance at life. I have no regrets.

Having said that, had I not had triplets first, I think I would be just along with all of my friends and wanting to do a homebirth unmedicated. I have the pain tolerance for it. But as they say, God had other plans for me.