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Old 12-14-2012, 10:50 AM   #1
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Need advice/opinions/info from those experienced with adoption

I received an email from my children's former preschool regarding a little girl that is in need of a home and felt instantly drawn to her. She is almost 4, and it sounds like there was some kind of violence in her home (one of the requirements of a potential family is that they have a good understanding of the effects of domestic violence on a child- don't know exactly what that means).

I just want to know from those who have adopted what kinds of issues this child might have. We already have biological kids that are 10, 8, 2 and 3 months. Would it be to hard for her to be a middle child? I've heard adoptive/foster kids should generally be the youngest, but they didn't mention that in their requirements. Would it be too difficult for me? I homeschool my older kids, but that might be an advantage because I'm always home and there would always be kids around for her to be with.

Here's the exact wording of the email:
We have an almost four year old girl who is legally free that we are looking for an adoptive home. Of course the family who adopts this precious child will need to have the following characteristics and skills:
A well-structured home that combines flexibility with consistency.
A good understanding of the impact of domestic violence on a young child.
The ability to stay home for at least a year.
Prior experience parenting precocious children.
Willingness to keep child in contact with her siblings.

I need other adoptive parents with bio kids thoughts on this.

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Old 12-14-2012, 10:56 AM   #2
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Re: Need advice/opinions/info from those experienced with adoption

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Old 12-14-2012, 11:09 AM   #3
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Don't apologize! I have absolutely no experience with adoption or fostering, but it's something I have always wanted to do. I just want the cold hard facts no matter how ugly they sound.

That was not my impression from the info at all, so it's nice to have another prospective. If I ever do this, I want to know fully well what I'm getting myself into. Not only for my sake, but for my family and the adoptive child as well.
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:47 AM   #4
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Re: Need advice/opinions/info from those experienced with adoption

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Old 12-16-2012, 08:10 AM   #5
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Re: Need advice/opinions/info from those experienced with adoption

I'm sorry to say if they need to advertise to find a home for a single little girl that young, she most likely has serious issues. Typically there are many, many people waiting for a legally free child like that who have their adoption home studies complete. I would definitely not consider adopting smack dab on the middle of your birth order like that. Sometimes it works out okay, but I hear more horror stories than success stories, unfortunately. I'm not saying not to proceed and find out more info, but I wouldn't count on this being a good fit for your family.
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Old 12-16-2012, 08:39 AM   #6
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Yes, I looked into it a bit more and it sounds like she has limited speech. I don't think I could give her as much time as she would need. Very sad for this poor little girl. I hope she finds a wonderful family.
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