Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of December 17th

[carriek38]

Oh, don't get me wrong, DP did great on them. Her PCOS symptoms were under control & her hormones well regulated. They really don't have bad side-effects for everyone.

I do okay on them, in that it helps to mature multiple follicles, but my E2 typically goes through the roof...ostensibly, I don't really have any problem w/ my fertility, except that my partner doesn't make sperm , so the meds do what they're supposed to do, but they also kind of unbalance my hormones at the same time, KWIM?

[amyltc]

Injectibles didn't bother me at all. They were a breeze compared with clomid. Well except the injection part, but I have an awesome you tube video for that.

[meeshkasheeba]

Nothing exciting here, except that I am in my first 2ww since April. I have been sick since last Friday with multiple stomach problems, probably all related to GF food being contaminated with gluten due to stupid/oblivious family. I am ready to feel better.

Sorry family just doesn't get it sometimes no matter what the issues are. Thankfully in our families we are the babies so our cousins and siblings are done having children and we haven't had the awful feelings we did when we were trying to get pregnant with Ethan.

[slimy72]

Originally Posted by carriek38 Oh, don't get me wrong, DP did great on them. Her PCOS symptoms were under control & her hormones well regulated. They really don't have bad side-effects for everyone. I do okay on them, in that it helps to mature multiple follicles, but my E2 typically goes through the roof...ostensibly, I don't really have any problem w/ my fertility, except that my partner doesn't make sperm , so the meds do what they're supposed to do, but they also kind of unbalance my hormones at the same time, KWIM?

That does make sense then.

Originally Posted by amyltc Injectibles didn't bother me at all. They were a breeze compared with clomid. Well except the injection part, but I have an awesome you tube video for that.

That does make me feel better. I HATE clomid, so that would be nice if these were better. I'm pretty confident I can give the shots though. I've given hundreds to livestock over the years, and used to have to do all of DH's injections for his MS meds. I've just never stuck a needle in myself, well, on purpose anyway. There was that one time I "wormed" myself with cattle wormer. I was worm free after that!

Originally Posted by meeshkasheeba Nothing exciting here, except that I am in my first 2ww since April. I have been sick since last Friday with multiple stomach problems, probably all related to GF food being contaminated with gluten due to stupid/oblivious family. I am ready to feel better. Sorry family just doesn't get it sometimes no matter what the issues are. Thankfully in our families we are the babies so our cousins and siblings are done having children and we haven't had the awful feelings we did when we were trying to get pregnant with Ethan.

Dh is the oldest in his family, and I"m right in the middle, but we've been married and trying the longest of any sibling. Which makes it really hard when we're the only one except DH"s "baby" sister (10-12 years younger than him or so) that only has 1 kid. All the others have 3-5. It's just making me sad. And I hear you on the GF food. DH's family has several members with celiacs but none are as sever as him, and even some of their GF food can't be trusted. Luckily for us, my mom is awesome about it. Sometimes a little too awesome; my dad got yelled at yesterday for putting dishes away after eating a slice of bread, without washing his hands first. Ya, my mom is very overzealous about it. BUT WAY BETTER than the alternative of a family who just doesn't care.

[amyltc]

Can I get some advice on what to do this upcoming cycle? AF is due on January 4th based on when I O'd (it would be awesome if she didn't show, but if she does...) our plan for next cycle as of right now is 100 mg of clomid and 5 mg of femara and then IUI. I am starting to rethink doing meds and IUI this cycle. I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready for it. I've kind of mentioned this to dh and he got pretty upset with me over it. His feeling is (and I feel the same way sort of) that we should maximize our time the next 2 months since we've heard you are most fertile in the 3 months following a loss. Also, we have a health savings plan that we are using to pay for the treatments that takes a fee every month, so the longer we wait to use it the less we have.
I'm just afraid that taking clomid and the stress of the appointments is going to be too much for me to handle. I feel like I'm still struggling with feelings of grief, which I think is still normal (its only been 3 weeks since our loss) DH keeps suggesting that I get on an antidepressant. I'm not against that but I think its still too early. I think if a month or two from now I'm still this emotional then fine I'll go in and talk to the dr. I am sleeping normally again (I was waking up with panic attacks the first week) and I don't even cry daily anymore. I just seem to still get upset about little things that I normally could just brush off. I think that is really normal though. I feel like I'm making progress, the grief isn't overwhelming most of the time anymore, but it is still there.
I'm also really worried that if we do the clomid and its a failed cycle that I will really struggle with it. I already think that if I get my period this month it is going to be difficult to deal with. I just really want to move forward, not backward in the grieving process.
I guess my overall question is, are our chances THAT much better in the next 2 months? If so I'll deal with the emotional part and soldier on. If not then I think I need to try to get dh to see reason and wait another month or two before we jump back into IUI.

[ChihuahuaMama13]

Just checking in:
Not sure what's going on :-/
I don't think I ovulated last cycle. This cycle I got a positive opk on cd 26, but negative the next day. I ran out of tests so have been just temping since cd 28, and by temps I ovulated on cd 29. So those don't add up...

But either way I'm either 13 or 16 dpo right now with no signs of af which is odd. I've never had a lp more than 8-10 days. I tested about a week ago and got a super faint positive but I can't tell if the line if whole or if it's just a pink evap. With as messed up as my cycles are I can't bring myself to buy another test. I just keep waiting to see if af completely misses a month. It's been a couple years since I've had this big of a gap between cycles, but it's happened, so I'm trying to not get my hopes up

[Hope4More]

Since we're doing a post-Christmas update, Santa brought me AF on Christmas morning, so we are CD 3 here, with the CBE monitor and watch fired up

Soryr fro typos. Setn by iPhone.

[hokoonchi]

Hi everyone, I was wondering if I could join the board. I hope OP got someone to take on the board duties. I used to do the ATTS every day board, and it was tough.

Over in TTC, I just have gotten a bit disheartened since we have been trying on and off for a second baby since August 2011. I see a couple of former ATTS'ers here ... hi girls! I seem to be ovulating, but no pregnancies, failed or kept. Don't know why.

Screen name (Real Name): hokoonchi (Camilla)
Age: Me - 30 (turning 31 soon)/DH - 36 (37 soon)
Children and ages: Sam, 2 years old, potty training (!)
Losses: six weeks, 12/10
Diagnosis: Endometriosis on right ovary, dermoid tumor on left ovary, vulvodynia. Surgery 2/12. Birth control for five months to heal and regulate cycles.
Treatments now: Evening primrose oil
Cycles TTC another: 1.5 years (on and off of birth control due to doctor's orders) trying to conceive a second.
Next appointment: None at this time. Will be seeing a doctor about my fertility if something doesn't happen in the next six months. Will likely pursue IUI.

Wishing everyone here luck. I hate endometriosis. Hugs to everyone.

[amyltc]

Rebecca if no one else has volunteered I can do the thread, I could use any good luck it might bring

[slimy72]

Originally Posted by amyltc Can I get some advice on what to do this upcoming cycle? AF is due on January 4th based on when I O'd (it would be awesome if she didn't show, but if she does...) our plan for next cycle as of right now is 100 mg of clomid and 5 mg of femara and then IUI. I am starting to rethink doing meds and IUI this cycle. I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready for it. I've kind of mentioned this to dh and he got pretty upset with me over it. His feeling is (and I feel the same way sort of) that we should maximize our time the next 2 months since we've heard you are most fertile in the 3 months following a loss. Also, we have a health savings plan that we are using to pay for the treatments that takes a fee every month, so the longer we wait to use it the less we have. I'm just afraid that taking clomid and the stress of the appointments is going to be too much for me to handle. I feel like I'm still struggling with feelings of grief, which I think is still normal (its only been 3 weeks since our loss) DH keeps suggesting that I get on an antidepressant. I'm not against that but I think its still too early. I think if a month or two from now I'm still this emotional then fine I'll go in and talk to the dr. I am sleeping normally again (I was waking up with panic attacks the first week) and I don't even cry daily anymore. I just seem to still get upset about little things that I normally could just brush off. I think that is really normal though. I feel like I'm making progress, the grief isn't overwhelming most of the time anymore, but it is still there. I'm also really worried that if we do the clomid and its a failed cycle that I will really struggle with it. I already think that if I get my period this month it is going to be difficult to deal with. I just really want to move forward, not backward in the grieving process. I guess my overall question is, are our chances THAT much better in the next 2 months? If so I'll deal with the emotional part and soldier on. If not then I think I need to try to get dh to see reason and wait another month or two before we jump back into IUI.

I don't have to much that would make any difference to answer you on this. But I've been through this 6 times now, and I have NEVER actually gotten pregnant in the three months after. I'm pretty sure at this point that it's a myth. Totally my opinion here, and I have NO medical anything to base that on. I just know for me, it takes 1-2 cycles before I even ovulate again (which I don't do regularly anyway) and then usually on that third cyle I O so late it wouldn't be able to implant anyway. So for me, no I don't feel like I"m missing a super fertile "window" any more. But with that said, we certainly didn't prevent for the last several months just didn't push ahead with any treatment to give me the emotional break I was in need of.


Anyway.... I thought I was ready to move on and have been planning to start setting up appointments next week. But after spending several hours crying today because my SIL had her 20 week ultrasound this week and found out she's having a boy (I would have been 21 weeks this week if I hadn't lost it) I'm not so sure I'm doing as well as I thought I was. I did have a little encouragement at my mom's this week (as well as moments of wanting to strangle a few family members). I was going through my mom's yarn closet and found a cute little pair of cabled longies she'd made out of some hand spun yarn that I spun. I had given her the yarn and pattern two years ago when I was pregnant. I thought she hadn't knitted it because she didn't think it was actually ever going to happen for me. Not so, she knitted it because she truly believes this is going to work for us some day. She just didn't tell me because she didn't want to make me cry. But I was in the mood so I washed and blocked them, and she's going to enter them in the fair this fall. It gave me a little hope to know my mom still thinks this is going to happen even though I'm pretty ready to give up and have been having moments of deciding ds is just going to be an only child this week so I can move on. Anyway, it's been a rough week, and I swear I get more emotional the more losses I have and the longer this keeps taking. It kills me that DS is almost 5. It took us 5 years and 4 losses to get him, and I always jokingly told dh that as long as it took less than that to get another one I was ok. Well, of course I told him that because I thought we had the problem figured out and number 2 would be easy. Little did I know, we'd be sitting here in the same boat, over 10 years after we started trying for our first, and almost 5 years after ds was born. And my birthday is next week and I"m feeling old. Sorry to be such a downer, it's just been such an up and down week for me. But happy thing, tomorrow I'm going to spend the day with a friend and she's going to teach me to use my new knitting machine I just bought. I can hardly wait. ( I don't actually know how to knit I'm a spinner so I'm hoping I can learn to make stuff with this machine because I"m a miserable failure at hand knitting).