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Old 12-23-2012, 10:24 PM   #1
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The Beginning of Something

I've always been a big girl. My entire life, I have always been either overweight or, more often, obese according to medical guidelines. I've had menstrual issues, breathing issues, circulation issues, skin issues (psoriasis), mental chemistry issues, kidney issues... the list goes on and on.

I've made bad choices. I've smoked for over a decade, drank too much, ate too much, been too lazy, not respected myself and my real needs, and let life get to me way too often.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of feeling awful physically and emotionally.
I'm tired of having to buy plus size clothes which, inevitably, are never as cute or well-fitting as their smaller sized counterparts.
I'm tired of people asking me when I'm due when I'm not pregnant.
I'm tired of hiding from cameras.
I'm tired of living in fear that I will die alone because no man I would be interested in would want me as I am (and frankly, if I were a good looking, healthy, successful man, I wouldn't want me either).

A mama on here sold me a book called 'Healing Psoriasis' I bought it from her because about a year ago I came pretty darn close to shaving my head bald... no joke. The psoriasis on my scalp was so bad that it made me cry. My hair was down below my shoulder blades and I cut it into a man's hair cut with longer bangs. The entire back of my head was cut down pretty short so that I could get sunlight to my scalp.

I also have psoriasis in other places on my body. Over the years it went from just being on my scalp to showing up on my breasts, my torso, my hips, my back, my legs, and arms.

I've noticed over the last year that I wheeze when I breath. I have moles on my body that I know for a fact weren't there 2 years ago. I recently threw out my back leaning over to reach in a drawer. My shoulders, shoulder blades, lower back, and heels hurt a majority of the time.

I've been falling apart for years. My body is screaming at me, and I've just been ignoring it... just going along doing whatever I wanted in a stubborn rampage of neglect.

My mom had a heart attack recently, and seeing her there in the hospital bed, I realized something... she had done this to herself.

She has smoked for 40+ years, never ate right, always worked too hard, drank too much, and lived a life that would make a lot of people want to kill themselves rather than live it.

I saw myself in her that day, and I have been trying to process it ever since. And then I pictured my son in 20 years sitting where I was sitting: in a hospital room, with his mom having had a heart attack, and lamenting her poor choices... choices that had ravaged her body and would take her away before he was ready. I forced myself to picture his fear and sadness and anger. I forced myself to think of what it might do to him to lose me so early.

Then it hit me that that is exactly what happened to his dad: STBXH's mom had actually led a good life, but she died way earlier than she should have and STBXH has not been the same since.

The fear and panic I felt at those realizations was overwhelming.

This isn't about vanity. This isn't about what I 'deserve' to be able to eat/drink/do. This isn't about what other people think of me when they see me on the street or in pictures.

This is about survival. This is about making better decisions that will enable me to be around as long as possible for my son, and hopefully not be a burden to him in my advanced years due to poor decisions on my part. This is about breaking the cycle and setting a better example for my son.

If anyone wants to join me, feel free. I'm going to outline my plans in the next post or so and add links to my videos. I feel it's important to have a visual record because up until now, words on a page just haven't been enough.

ETA: You can also friend me on MyFitnessPal (IsaacsMom2009) Just let me know your DS name if your MFP name is different

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Old 12-23-2012, 10:24 PM   #2
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~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Video Diaries ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


2012, 12-23 The Beginning of Something (Long video, may take a while to load.)

2012, 12-24 Common Sense Part 1 Video cut short. See next video for ending.

2012, 12-24 Common Sense Part 2 Sorry it's sideways. I'm still figuring this out

2012, 12-30 Beginning of Day 1

2012, 12-31 Beginning of Day 2

2013, 01-01 Beginning of Day 3

2013, 01-02 The Real Beginning of Change

2013, 01-11 1 Week Update

2013, 01-18 2 Week Update

2013, 01-25 3 Week Update

2013, 02-01 1 Month Update

2013, 02-08 SICK

2013, 02-15 After the Plague

2013, 02-22 A Happy Week

2013, 03-01 2 Month Update

2013, 03-08 to 2013, 06-12 SCHOOL CHAOS AND RECOVERY

2013, 06-13. Sometimes, you just gotta start over

2013, 06-21

2013, 06-28

2013, 07-05

2013, 07-12

2013, 07-19

2013, 07-26

2013, 08-02

2013, 08-09

2013, 08-16

2013, 08-23

2013, 08-30






~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Weigh Ins ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


2012, 12-30: 201.8

2012, 12-31: 201.4

2013, 01-01: 200.4

2013, 01-02: 197.6

2013, 01-11: 193.8

2013, 01-18: 194.0

2013, 01-25: 196.2

2013, 02-01: 195.3

2013, 02-08: SICK

2013, 02-15: 193.2

2013, 02-22: 190.2

2013, 03-01: 188.4

2013, 03-08 to 2013, 06-12 I have no idea

2013, 06-13. 195.3

2013, 06-21

2013, 06-28

2013, 07-05

2013, 07-12

2013, 07-19

2013, 07-26

2013, 08-02

2013, 08-09

2013, 08-16

2013, 08-23

2013, 08-30
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Last edited by IsaacsMom2009; 06-13-2013 at 11:32 PM.
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Old 12-23-2012, 10:25 PM   #3
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Re: The Beginning of Something

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a doctor. I'm not recommending that anyone do any of the things I will be doing. If you want to give this a try, I highly recommend:

A) You talk to a doctor before implementing any diet or exercise changes to make sure they will not have adverse effects on you.

B) If you are interested specifically in where I have gotten this info, check out the lastest edition of Healing Psoriasis by Dr. John O. A. Pagano The ISBN on mine is 0-9628847-0-7 (there may be a newer version available, since mine was printed in 1991)



I have been inspired by the Healing Psoriasis book, but the suggestions in that book make sense on many different levels not just related to getting rid of psoriasis. It's about cleansing the body to clear out toxins that cause all sort of problems, learning to take care of your body, and realizing that everything that you put in/on your body has an effect on you. If you want to consume bad stuff, be ready to pay the price. Pretty straight forward stuff when you think about it. Thing is, most people don't think about it.

The first thing they recommend is the 3 day apple diet. This is supposed to aid in cleansing the system along with enemas. Let me say, this right here almost made me run screaming when I first read it. "You want me to what? Eat nothing but apples for three days AND have enemas? ENEMAS? Eww... Oh heck no!"

Once I got past my initial disgust (and stopped acting like a 3rd grader... it's just poop for Pete's sake), I read on. They recommend various dietary changes (some that make more sense than others) and some supplement suggestions. The photos of the patients are astounding. Absolutely astounding. My psoriasis is nowhere near as bad as the people in this book, but if it can do that for them, then it HAS to do something for me.

So, I noted all this info, sat down with a calendar and thought "Okay, I need to figure out when I can eat nothing but apples for three days, and that's when I'll start." We'll, it turns out Amazon can't deliver as quickly as I would like, so I'll be starting as soon as I get my supplies. They are:

American yellow saffron tea
Slippery elm bark powder
Lecithin granules
Stainless steel tea ball

Other things I already had like:

Olive oil
Castor oil
Peanut oil

Here is the plan...

Day One
First thing in the morning, drink a glass of warm water to which the juice of one fresh lemon has been added.
Wait an hour, then eat as many apples as you want during the day and NOTHING else.
In the evening, do an enema, then drink a tablespoon of olive oil in hot water or apple juice.
**NOTE: They actually recommend something called a 'high colonic' which sounds great and all, but I don't have health insurance, and this process is going to be uncomfortable enough without someone else administering the procedure. Maybe some day I'll get brave and go have it done, but for now, we'll stick with the home enema.

Day Two
Same as Day One

Day Three
Same as Day One
PLUS at the end of the day eat a pint of plain yogurt to bring back some balance in my system.

After this three day cleansing, I'm supposed to do the following:
In addition to dietary and lifestyle changes (which I will outline below), it is recommended to have:
Slippery Elm bark drink in the morning 1/2 hour before breakfast (1/4 tsp in warm water which has to set for 15 minutes before drinking)
Saffron Tea in the evening (1/4 tsp in hot water)
1/2 tsp of olive oil daily
1 tbsp of lecithin granules 3 times per day for 5 days a week until psoriasis clears up and then 1 tbsp per day after that.
Drinking saffron water throughout the day and periodic cups of chamomile and mullein tea are recommended.

Lifestyle Changes
No smoking
No drinking alcohol
Go to the chiropractor
Exercise
Reduce stress
No hair dying (I stopped doing this years ago anyway)
Regular cleansing of the skin
Regular cleansing of the bowels

Dietary Changes
No Dairy
No Soda
Nothing white (flour, sugar, white potatoes, etc.)
No nightshades (tomatoes, eggplant, pepper, etc.)
No red meat
Do not eat citrus with grains
Eat apples, melons, and bananas by themselves and not combined with other foods.
Eat more: salmon, tuna, cod, halibut, chicken, brown rice, wild rice, gluten free pasta, flaxseed, canola oil, fruits and veggies.


The book explains in better detail the logic behind the requirements, but for the purposes of this post, let's just say, I'm following the above because it makes sense to me after reading the book.
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Last edited by IsaacsMom2009; 12-23-2012 at 11:11 PM.
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:35 AM   #4
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Re: The Beginning of Something

I am so glad you are getting into a more healthy lifestyle. I look forward in supporting you in your journey!!
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:45 AM   #5
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Re: The Beginning of Something

Make changes so you FEEL better- don't do it because you care what someone else sees. Would you like to know what I saw in your video? You are beautiful! You have gorgeous skin, beautiful eyes, and straight white teeth. Mama, you look tired and defeated- take care of yourself, be a little selfish, and put yourself first sometimes.


ETA: My father had a heart attack (his first) in September and died at the same exact age my grandfather (his father) died of a heart attack.
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Old 12-24-2012, 10:00 AM   #6
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Re: The Beginning of Something

Quote:
Originally Posted by l_Kimmie_l View Post
I am so glad you are getting into a more healthy lifestyle. I look forward in supporting you in your journey!!
Thank you so much

Quote:
Originally Posted by 4boys1girlforme View Post
Make changes so you FEEL better- don't do it because you care what someone else sees. Would you like to know what I saw in your video? You are beautiful! You have gorgeous skin, beautiful eyes, and straight white teeth. Mama, you look tired and defeated- take care of yourself, be a little selfish, and put yourself first sometimes.


ETA: My father had a heart attack (his first) in September and died at the same exact age my grandfather (his father) died of a heart attack.
The changes I plan to make are solely for the purposes of being healthier and feeling better, however, I know that once I make those changes, looking better will surely follow.

Thank you for the compliments, though. I haven't felt pretty in a long time, but it's always good to hear someone else's take on it. Sometimes we are our own worst critic.

I really hope that my mom doesn't pass the same time her mom did... that would only give me 8 more years with her. Hopefully she will take better care of herself than Grandma did and be around longer.
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Old 12-27-2012, 09:26 PM   #7
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Re: The Beginning of Something

Im glad you are doing something for yourself, and taking care of muself. Im not making as drastic as changes as you but I am taking changes to improve my health as well. Im taking a vitamin regularly, eating more nutrient rich foods, and allowing myself enough rest and sleep. Those small changes alone are helping me feel heaps better.
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Old 12-29-2012, 07:40 PM   #8
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Re: The Beginning of Something

My supplies came today. I wasn't expecting them until the second week in January. Looks like I need to get in gear sooner than anticipated. But that's a good thing. The next 3 days are actually perfect for starting the cleansing.

Wish me luck!
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Old 12-29-2012, 09:01 PM   #9
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Re: The Beginning of Something

Good luck mama!
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Old 12-30-2012, 09:58 AM   #10
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Re: The Beginning of Something

Thinking about you today! I'll be cheering you along the way, your story has hit me the core--- you will be in my prayers. You can do this mama!!!
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