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Old 01-03-2013, 08:42 PM   #21
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

Thanks for the compliments, the encouragement is appreciated. I know I technically am fostering 2 LO right now. But it doesn't really feel like I am fostering anymore. We have no visitation for either case and no parental involvement so things are quiet with the cases. And just feels like a family of five right now.

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Old 01-03-2013, 08:47 PM   #22
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

Orientation is Monday! And training is at the end of the month! In between then we will do the home study and psych eval! Ahhhh!!! So fast! Hubby and I def need to have a chat about our thoughts on adoption. We got a new crib yesterday and my friend gave us her crib bedding we move in 2 weeks and I can't wait to set up the nursery! Although most likely we'll move te crib in our room if the baby is a NB! I'm so excited!!!

The only issues with visitations is that Hubby doesnt drive. He is going to be the stay at home parent. He is very excited! And I work, so even if we can't schedule them when I'm home he can take a taxi or get a ride. I kind of hope the visits are when I work so that I get time with baby when I'm off right now I have mon/weds mornings off which I think will work out for Dr appts and such. I guess it will be a case by case basis. We'll make it work
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:05 PM   #23
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

Got a call yesterday morning for emergency respite for a 5 year old girl and a 6 month old G tube baby. The foster father's dad was in the process of passing away, and the foster mother's mother was in a different hospital. No way I could say no, knowing that I am the only other G tube foster parent in the county. I would hope to goodness that if it was me, someone would have helped me out.

But OMG am I tired. This gives us 5, 5, 3.5 special needs who hits and scratches, 21 months, and 6 months. I know some of you mamas are used to this crazy, but this is so not my thing. The baby won't be put down, and only sleeps for 30 minutes at a time. I asked the foster parents about it, and they said at home he does 20 minutes most of the time. If you hit 45, you are living the high life. He is draining me.

They are hopefully going home tomorrow. I never thought that my 5, 3 and 21 months would ever seem like a calm day, but I am so looking forward to a little peace.

The first day was awesome. We are debating number 4, and holding the baby definitely made me want number 4. But today, when the baby cried every time I set him down, and I didn't get any sleep last night, and I had to practice violin with DD1 while entertaining 4 other kids and holding a baby who refused to be put down, a decision is made. We have enough kids in our family. I don't have another newborn in me.
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:10 PM   #24
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

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Originally Posted by Haleybailey View Post
Orientation is Monday! And training is at the end of the month! In between then we will do the home study and psych eval! Ahhhh!!! So fast! Hubby and I def need to have a chat about our thoughts on adoption. We got a new crib yesterday and my friend gave us her crib bedding we move in 2 weeks and I can't wait to set up the nursery! Although most likely we'll move te crib in our room if the baby is a NB! I'm so excited!!!

The only issues with visitations is that Hubby doesnt drive. He is going to be the stay at home parent. He is very excited! And I work, so even if we can't schedule them when I'm home he can take a taxi or get a ride. I kind of hope the visits are when I work so that I get time with baby when I'm off right now I have mon/weds mornings off which I think will work out for Dr appts and such. I guess it will be a case by case basis. We'll make it work
It is so nerve-racking We just got our license and I am nervous still because we have to do another Family Assessment 6 months after we started the first one. I don't know why I am so nervous again since the first one although long and tedious was not really hard.

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Got a call yesterday morning for emergency respite for a 5 year old girl and a 6 month old G tube baby. The foster father's dad was in the process of passing away, and the foster mother's mother was in a different hospital. No way I could say no, knowing that I am the only other G tube foster parent in the county. I would hope to goodness that if it was me, someone would have helped me out.

But OMG am I tired. This gives us 5, 5, 3.5 special needs who hits and scratches, 21 months, and 6 months. I know some of you mamas are used to this crazy, but this is so not my thing. The baby won't be put down, and only sleeps for 30 minutes at a time. I asked the foster parents about it, and they said at home he does 20 minutes most of the time. If you hit 45, you are living the high life. He is draining me.

They are hopefully going home tomorrow. I never thought that my 5, 3 and 21 months would ever seem like a calm day, but I am so looking forward to a little peace.

The first day was awesome. We are debating number 4, and holding the baby definitely made me want number 4. But today, when the baby cried every time I set him down, and I didn't get any sleep last night, and I had to practice violin with DD1 while entertaining 4 other kids and holding a baby who refused to be put down, a decision is made. We have enough kids in our family. I don't have another newborn in me.
Wow mama That is a lot. I can see why that would make me say no more Praying for some nice easy days coming your way!
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:21 PM   #25
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

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dalynn1997- You are such a sweet mama to have such an open heart to these LO's that need so much love.

Well we have had our license for two weeks and I got the second call today. This time it is long term. I am a little freaked as we said we were not going to do this and here we go. The call is for a 4 year old boy. There is a court hearing is tomorrow so we will find out after the ruling if he will be coming or not.

My guess is from what I know he will be coming to us with few belongings and we do not have anything for his size. I have not fully understood how this works but what am I supposed to do when I buy things for him. Do I have to keep receipts? How do you decide what to get? (I am really bad at this with my DS and always buy too much)
Yeah every agency and state will do it differently. Our agency gave us $33 per month for clothing. We had a cw come over at about day 4 of taking our placement and there she gave me a basic sheet to keep track of spending. Our agency didn't need a receipt but for us to track it. Michigan will also give you what they call an initial clothing allowance but it needs to be approved. FYI, we had our twins for 2 months before it was approved, 3 months before we got any money. They are pretty slow. Our boys came with nothing as well. They wanted us to keep receipts for Mi money, though. I never had to turn any of it in but its just in case someone thinks you aren't buying the child clothes. Hope things go well.
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:55 PM   #26
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

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Yeah every agency and state will do it differently. Our agency gave us $33 per month for clothing. We had a cw come over at about day 4 of taking our placement and there she gave me a basic sheet to keep track of spending. Our agency didn't need a receipt but for us to track it. Michigan will also give you what they call an initial clothing allowance but it needs to be approved. FYI, we had our twins for 2 months before it was approved, 3 months before we got any money. They are pretty slow. Our boys came with nothing as well. They wanted us to keep receipts for Mi money, though. I never had to turn any of it in but its just in case someone thinks you aren't buying the child clothes. Hope things go well.
Thanks mama. I had not heard of any clothing allowance aside for the stipend. I will ask about that.


I have another question. The LO we had last week kept asking "am I your son?" With him he had a bio mom and a foster mom so we said no you are your moms son. What do you tell such a young child about this? I don't really know the best way to handle it.
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Old 01-04-2013, 07:51 AM   #27
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Our county expects anything you buy to come from per diem. Sucks because you never know how long they will be here. DS came wearing preemie clothes with nothing and left wearing 3T and I had to buy all the sizes in between. Since we never knew when he was leaving, I couldn't buy ahead. When we got him back 4 months after RU, he came with nothing again. I was frustrated to buy a second 3T wardrobe, but so happy to have him back!
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Old 01-04-2013, 10:02 AM   #28
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

It has been many months since we've had a placement. I am getting discouraged. It is time to jump through all the hoops to renew. I don't know how much longer we will continue to do this. I hate to give upon the dream of growing our family. I also wanted to foster and make a difference in the lives of littles. 2 yrs 1 placement....many months now empty.
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Old 01-04-2013, 10:21 AM   #29
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

I would love to reply to all these updates, but I just have a minute.

Abraham had a dr. appt today with our GI specialist. He got a failure to thrive diagnosis. Boo. I have to switch from nursing him to bottle feeding him breastmilk fortified with formula. This is HARD for me. I'm so thankful he's gotten as much breastmilk as he has, but I've never formula fed before and I worked my tail off to make breastfeeding happen. I think I just need to mourn the end of nursing and embrace what we need to do to get him growing again. He only gained 1 oz in the last month, so they were none too pleased.
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:41 PM   #30
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

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Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
Our county expects anything you buy to come from per diem. Sucks because you never know how long they will be here. DS came wearing preemie clothes with nothing and left wearing 3T and I had to buy all the sizes in between. Since we never knew when he was leaving, I couldn't buy ahead. When we got him back 4 months after RU, he came with nothing again. I was frustrated to buy a second 3T wardrobe, but so happy to have him back!
Yeah I kind of expected it to mainly come out of the per diem. No biggie though I just wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything. I worry I will mess up on the paper work side of all of this. I am not great at the organizational side of things

I can see why it would be frustrating but as you said getting him back would be all that would really matter of course I can only imagine how happy that was for you.

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Originally Posted by luvbeingmomma View Post
It has been many months since we've had a placement. I am getting discouraged. It is time to jump through all the hoops to renew. I don't know how much longer we will continue to do this. I hate to give upon the dream of growing our family. I also wanted to foster and make a difference in the lives of littles. 2 yrs 1 placement....many months now empty.
Oh mama I am sorry. I can see how that would feel very discouraging. I have no advice but lots of

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I would love to reply to all these updates, but I just have a minute.

Abraham had a dr. appt today with our GI specialist. He got a failure to thrive diagnosis. Boo. I have to switch from nursing him to bottle feeding him breastmilk fortified with formula. This is HARD for me. I'm so thankful he's gotten as much breastmilk as he has, but I've never formula fed before and I worked my tail off to make breastfeeding happen. I think I just need to mourn the end of nursing and embrace what we need to do to get him growing again. He only gained 1 oz in the last month, so they were none too pleased.
So sorry mama the loss of the breastfeeding relationship would be really hard after working so hard to establish it. All of that happening when your LO is having a hard time. Agh I hope it gets better quickly!


AFM: Well the Petition was denied for the LO today and for now he will be staying with his relative placement. I feel a little sad because there must have been a reason that the agency wanted him removed. I hope that he is okay and that things get better for that little guy.
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