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Old 01-04-2013, 04:46 PM   #21
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Re: Stepping on toes...

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Originally Posted by Momma2theJs View Post
And you would think it's common sense/courtesy to stay away from a new baby when you're sick...yeah, it isn't.
Exactly...my MIL brought my BIL, which was 8 when my DD1 was born, to the hospital to see us with STREP THROAT! I was POed!!


OP ~ I personally thought it just fine! I hate it when people run over me. Your post was blunt not rude. My MIL is one that I have to spell everything out to her...that is what I would have to say to someone like her. So I totally get what you are saying!

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Old 01-04-2013, 05:04 PM   #22
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Re: Stepping on toes...

I think your post is fine! Some people need someone to be straight forward!
When I had my first DD, my ex's brother was only 2 years old and was horribly sick, but his mom brought him ANYWAYS, then on top of it,she didn't watch him and was running in and out of OTHER peoples rooms! The nurses had to bring him back to her a few times before they finally kicked her out!
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Old 01-04-2013, 05:15 PM   #23
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Re: Stepping on toes...

I thing you started off light hearted, but it got away from you. But I completely agree about not wanting tons of people in the house right away. I invited family to the hospital last time and will again. My only request was NO VISITORS on our first day home. I still had 2 SIL's here when we pulled in. They were hanging a "welcome home" sign and said they hadn't planned to be there when we arrived. But I still had to insist that I really wanted us to have some family time and ask them to leave. They got over it. The other SIL, I don't know. She came into town with her ODD even though she new she couldn't bring her to the hospital to visit. But she refused to visit in the hospital without ODD (they were at MIL's 5 min away) and said she'd just come by that night when we got home. Ummm, NO! Sorry!
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Old 01-04-2013, 05:28 PM   #24
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Op i do not think that you were out of line. Borderline, maybe, but there are sone things that just seem to bring out the crazy/disrespectful in people (meaning the relations, not you) and a baby is one of them. Blunt is best!
Make sure DH is on board, have a clear plan, and then be flexible. We agreed ahead of time that anyone was welcome at the hosp - as ling as boobs and blood didn't freak them out - but once we were home there were NO visitors until DH gave the all clear signal (via email/fb to friends and family). This didnt happen for about a week and ppl were definitely... frustrated :-) Grandparents were allowed during the first few days but only until the street lights came on - then DH literally kicked them out! We had a "please make these people leave" secret signal, and DH was not shy about calling ppl last minute and saying, look, today is NOT good (we had a very tough start to bf) fo not come over/we will not attend/etc.
Not surprisingly, younger ppl with younger kids were MUCH more understanding.
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Old 01-04-2013, 05:29 PM   #25
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Very fair request, especially for the "sickies" to stay away.
DH's gma, who drives me nuts all the time anyway, crashed us the weekend after DD was born, much to my dismay. The day after she left I found out she had stayed home with their neighbor boy three days prior because he had the stomach flu. Boy was I pissed that she'd risked exposing DD when she was so little! Sometimes people just don't think about what's better for baby; they just think about how they want to see baby.
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Old 01-04-2013, 06:49 PM   #26
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I totally agree with how you are feeling, I am due in a week and I'm already stressing about sick visitors and visitors wanting to come by when we get home. With my first son I was so stressed out with people calling and texting constantly wanting to come by. I was not ready to be a hostess. I was completely exhausted and did not feel like worrying about how my house looked. I personally think the way you said it was funny. I laughed as soon as I read it because I totally understand. I think it's great you were brave enough to say how you feel.
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Old 01-04-2013, 07:00 PM   #27
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When I was in the hospital, there was a miscommunication with my cousin and she thought she could come see the baby the day I got home. I had been there less than an hour and, thinking it was DH returning from a food run, answered the door topless, in a bathrobe, wearing a pair of DH's underwear stuffed with a humongous hospital PP pad. I was so pissed I wanted to cry and was upset all night.

So, yeah, avoiding those early visitors at any cost is understandable.
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Old 01-07-2013, 11:31 PM   #28
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Nope, I think that's appropriate. When I visit a brand new baby, I'm mostly intending to help out mom by bringing a meal, doing some laundry, letting her take a nap/shower or whatever. If they want to come to your house, put them to work! You gave fair warning lol
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:14 PM   #29
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I had this exact issue with my dh's family and it resulted in a huge falling out with one of his sisters. She thought we were so selfish thru our pregnancy and labor- very long story. I think family/friends needs to be respectful of what new parents want. Some want tons of visitors/help/etc, some just want bonding time! Nothing wrong with either.
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Old 01-08-2013, 04:15 PM   #30
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Re: Stepping on toes...

Everyone needs to Get.Over.Themselves! By the time C4 got here only my brother, mother and father came to the hospital. Only grandma and grandpa if they were healthy to the house when they wanted, but I Did Not stay up to entertain....went to be at 7 pm! DH and DD took the shift until midnight! I enjoy my babymoon!

Our church did bring us meals for 3 weeks, but they only stayed, at max 20 minutes! I keep my kids out of the public for at least a month....6 weeks if I can do it. NB's need time to develop immunities. I don't allow anyone to touch the baby if they're sick...and I ask.

Biblically I get 66 days for a girl and 41 for a boy. And it sure does take a lot longer to recover from a girl!
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