Mom living w/us permanently

[suttonsc]

My mom is living with us permanently and payed for our home to be remodeled. She has developed a pretty unhealthy Co dependent relationship with one of my 4 childre, who is only 3 yrs old. I feel like it's a constant tension between her and I. She focus so much on him the other kids notice and family friends & neighbors ask about her having a favorite. Any suggestions about how to address this? Anyone living with a parent and dealt with a similar concern?

[newbiemama]

sounds strange. DH, the kids and i live with my folks now so i KNOW about tension. my parents have a rocky relationship and there's lots of yelling, scolding, and passive-aggressive behavior, it can be quite unhealthy. if that was my situation, instead of confronting it head-on, i would say to mom "i'd really like you to spend more time with the other kids" or "could you spend some one-on-one time with ____, i think he/she feels left out sometimes" or something to that effect. or maybe outright ask that she doesn't focus on the "favorite" kid so much.

[JennyAnneC]

I'm in a similar situation. We live next door to my MIL and she favors my middle LO that just turned 2. Since it is MIL I leave the talking to DH. She is mildly aware and will sometimes make a point to give the older one more time. I'll definitely will be waiting for more responses.

[MrsCrafty]

Originally Posted by newbiemama sounds strange. DH, the kids and i live with my folks now so i KNOW about tension. my parents have a rocky relationship and there's lots of yelling, scolding, and passive-aggressive behavior, it can be quite unhealthy. if that was my situation, instead of confronting it head-on, i would say to mom "i'd really like you to spend more time with the other kids" or "could you spend some one-on-one time with ____, i think he/she feels left out sometimes" or something to that effect. or maybe outright ask that she doesn't focus on the "favorite" kid so much.

I agree with this