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Old 01-09-2013, 11:01 AM   #21
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of January 7th

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I might call my RE this week sometime, Its just kind of embarrassing you know? I know I shouldn't be but I feel like I've failed at getting and staying pregnant and now I'm failing again at handling it well.
The RE has offered to set me up with a counselor or meds everytime I've been in, but I keep turning him down. I think they realize just how hard this is to keep going through and want to help keep us all the way healthy, I'm just having a hard time accepting help.

And today is my 30th birthday. I wanted to be done having kids by now, and here I am, still with only my one, who is also starting Kindy this fall. So no matter what at this point even if it worked this cycle (which it won't since I'm on no stim meds this cycle) He will be at least six. If our oldest had made it we would have an almost 9 year old right now. I'm just starting to wonder if it's worth it. I know some wait longer, but I'm having a rough time with it. I've spent most of my birthday wanting to cry because of everything I thought would happen in life by now, and none of it has. Instead of being a SAHM, with a couple kids. I'm working FT because of my DH's illness (we have no clue how much longer he'll be able to work so I don't dare quit a great position that I do enjoy but would like to be home), with only one child, and now I'm 30. I never dreamed I'd have a M/C and now I've had 6. I know I have a lot of good things going for us too. We both have Master's degrees, we both have decent paying resonably stable jobs in a very unstable economy. We've worked really hard to be financially stable, and that's a great blessing. But sometimes it's so hard to focus on the good things we do have, and forget about all teh hard stuff we keep going through.

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Old 01-09-2013, 01:42 PM   #22
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of January 7th

I'm hoping you ladies don't mind being a support to me right now. We just received devastating news about one of the twins- Baby "A" has severe chromosomal abnormalities. Please keep us in your thoughts. I feel like I need to reach out to people because I haven't dealt with anything like this before. I literally feel like I've been thrown into a nightmare.
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:58 PM   #23
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of January 7th

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I'm hoping you ladies don't mind being a support to me right now. We just received devastating news about one of the twins- Baby "A" has severe chromosomal abnormalities. Please keep us in your thoughts. I feel like I need to reach out to people because I haven't dealt with anything like this before. I literally feel like I've been thrown into a nightmare.
You know we're here for you. I'm so sorry.
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:11 PM   #24
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of January 7th

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I'm hoping you ladies don't mind being a support to me right now. We just received devastating news about one of the twins- Baby "A" has severe chromosomal abnormalities. Please keep us in your thoughts. I feel like I need to reach out to people because I haven't dealt with anything like this before. I literally feel like I've been thrown into a nightmare.
Oh Rebecca, of course we are here for you. You've been here for me through thick and thin. Do you have any more information? Not that you have to share of course, I'm not sure if you are religious, but I'll keep you in my prayers.

I read a quote today about taking a chance to change your life and I think I'm ready next month to try again. I know it will be hard, but I know that for me I will regret it if we don't try. At the same time though I think I need to work toward finding peace with my life as it is now. If things don't turn out the way I want I need to still be able to be happy. I keep hoping I can quit or work part time and be home more, but it is very unlikely that it will happen at this point at least. We have lots of student loans from dh and stuff, so I just need to focus on the positive that with me working f/t it does give us enough money to pursue fertility treatments. I'm not sure if we will ever do IVF, and hopefully we won't need to, but I am at least ready to do IUI again. We will do up to 4 cycles of IUI and then need to decide to be done or move to IVF. If we do decide to do IVF with tax returns and just saving we should be able to save around 75% of the cost by next summer and then we would finance the rest. If not then I will probably cut back to part time the next year and we will do foster care.

We were going to adopt, we had an active profile for a little over a year, but for some reason getting pregnant took any desire to adopt an infant away from me and from DH, I wouldn't mind fostering to adopt, but for some reason private adoption just isn't the path for us. We pulled our application and are officially done with our agency. It was a little scary to shut that door, but I feel like now we can focus on one thing and not be torn in so many directions kwim?

Sorry I'm rambling a bit today, sometimes I feel like this is the only place I can vent and be heard by those who understand.
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:35 PM   #25
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of January 7th

I am so sorry Rebecca. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:04 PM   #26
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of January 7th

I saw this tonight and instantly thought of you ladies: http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/1...ps-of-awesome/

She does mention her children, and there are some religious references, so if you're easily offended by those things, here's fair warning. But I think the overall message is awesome and one many of us need right now as we struggle in our own ways.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:29 PM   #27
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of January 7th

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I saw this tonight and instantly thought of you ladies: http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/1...ps-of-awesome/

She does mention her children, and there are some religious references, so if you're easily offended by those things, here's fair warning. But I think the overall message is awesome and one many of us need right now as we struggle in our own ways.
Love that! It's something I need to remember, I beat myself up far too often.

Oh and
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:56 PM   #28
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of January 7th

tina- depot lupron was my worst enemy.... i hated the stuff. hopefully you can get some good answers soon and a bfp before spring.

laurel- happy birthday!! I am sorry for how hard TTC has to be for some of us and then the fear of losing once we do...... oh to be blissfully unaware again.

AFM: a little over 9 weeks and my US on tuesday was right on target.... our sweet havens heart stopped beating this point last time so feeling very nervous but trying to focus on the positives. Just praying to make it Valentines day.
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:59 PM   #29
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Re: Blessed with Children, Struggling for More week of January 7th

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I'm hoping you ladies don't mind being a support to me right now. We just received devastating news about one of the twins- Baby "A" has severe chromosomal abnormalities. Please keep us in your thoughts. I feel like I need to reach out to people because I haven't dealt with anything like this before. I literally feel like I've been thrown into a nightmare.
oh no rebecca I am so very sorry to hear that. How many weeks along are you again??
Please know I am thinking about you and your babies. Keep us posted on how your doing.
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Old 01-10-2013, 03:04 PM   #30
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Positive opk on my birthday finally! I'll read and catch up tonight (I've been reading the old thread- doh!)

Soryr fro typos. Setn by iPhone.
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