How do you get your kids to listen?

[Anna0623]

I know that it sounds like a dumb question, but I can't get my dd 4 1/2 or ds 3 to listen to me. I mean when Im talking to them, not just giving orders, or asking them to do something but when they ask me a question I stop what I'm doing and answer them. They will both just look at me blankly and ask the question again and sometimes a third time, not hearing what im saying until I am raising my voice and being louder than I would like. I think the only times when they hear me more often is if I am offering dessert or something similar but even then its only 50% chance that they will respond to me. Any help, suggestions would be greatly appreciated as this is becoming frustrating and I do not enjoy raising my voice.

[Nielsen6]

Get down on your knees and make them look at you, hold there shoulders gently to make sure they are paying attention to every word you are saying. If they choose to look away or wiggle away they get a time-out. It's not fun, but eventually you won't even need to use this method because they will automatically listen (some of the time at least )

[abunchoflemons]

My 8 year old doesn't listen to me either... teen yrs it gets worse because they know more than you. I have been thinking on this issue plus more...... so good luck.

[NSB]

Getting down to their level and making eye contact is the best way. If that's not possible, like in the car, or if it's not convenient at the time, I would always say "[Child's Name], look at my face." Once we had eye contact, I would say what needed to be said. My second oldest DD is now 9 and I still do this with her on occasion. She is a day dreamer that will zone out when reading, coloring, watching TV... so if I need her to hear me, I get her to look at my face first
Good luck!

[kocho]

Yep, I often have to do the "look at me" thing while talking to my kiddos. Even if they are paying attention at first, they drift off before I finish even if it is a short thing I'm telling them.

And if I'm giving instructions I have them repeat them back to me.

[Anna0623]

Thank you for your ideas. I will begin to get down to their level when i talk to them. Most of the time im already looking at them just not on their level. I will comment back with an update in a couple of days.

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by Anna0623 Thank you for your ideas. I will begin to get down to their level when i talk to them. Most of the time im already looking at them just not on their level. I will comment back with an update in a couple of days.

If that still doesn't work you might take then for a hearing screening just to be on the safe side.

[RainandRedemption]

Ds was asking me things over and over, finally I started just answering him one time. After that I just said "I already answered that question, you should have been paying attention". He is older though, this was recently and he is 5. Maybe that would work for you older child and the younger would follow that example?

You could also do things to practice their listening skills. Take them to the park and let them wear themselves out, then back at home sit together with some cards or beads or something like that, and give them instructions to follow. Be patient with them and give praise and big smiles when they do what you asked them to.

There are tons of things like that you could do with them to build up that skill. Defvtake them to get their hearing tested if you think it may be they. I'm thinking it's probably because they're playing together and active/crazy the way kids are, they're just having trouble changing gears to listen to mellow mom . I have two close together and they are that way sometimes

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

[smblake]

Originally Posted by mibarra If that still doesn't work you might take then for a hearing screening just to be on the safe side.

This. This was happening all the time when my ds1 was 3 1/2 and he always would say "what'd you say?" It took a year and a half to finally diagnose his hearing loss and after 2 years of struggling he got hearing aides at 5 1/2, and his and our worlds changed drastically for the better. Ds2 also has hearing loss that was diagnosed at the same time as his brother, he too is aided.