Please help me keep going... update post #54

[Mom2jandb]

Originally Posted by evasimone Update: DD was gaining weight well, at one point 5 oz. in 5 days while using the nipple shield. 2 weeks ago at our breastfeeding group she was 9 lbs 2 oz. And 14 days later is only 9 lbs 1 oz. I weighed her pre and post feeding and she took in 2.5 oz. With the nipple shield. The pediatrician told me she was only 10th percentile prior to this newest set back (born at 25th) and now I suspect she isn't even on the chart. I am doing everything "right" we nurse on demand all day long and I don't limit feedings. I believe I have a good supply. I'll hear DD gulping and sputtering. And I get engorged and leak after only 3 hours. DD does sleep 7.5 hours at night (she does that naturally, I haven't done any "sleep training"). She still manages to nurse 10-12 times a day even with sttn. I am fairly certain its a milk removal problem on DD's part. even before I weighed her I sensed that she wasn't getting enough milk. I could tell her feeding had changed instead of vigorous sucks she is doing more flutter sucking. And she acts frustrated, pulling, hitting and scratching while feeding. I can't figure out what has made DD change her pattern. She will feed without the shield but her latch is still bad. I get breakdown and pain with pretty much any latch. I am so frustrated.

How's your let down, mama? Too fast/hard? Or not coming at all?

Can you do one or two dream feeds, even though she's sleeping?

[evasimone]

Originally Posted by l_Kimmie_l Are you still using the shield? Maybe she still needs it to get a proper latch and enough milk.

I am still using the shield, trying to wean off of it. Without the shield she seems to "lose" my nipple and its always falling out of her mouth. She was gaining just fine on the shield so I don't know what has changed...

Originally Posted by Mom2jandb How's your let down, mama? Too fast/hard? Or not coming at all? Can you do one or two dream feeds, even though she's sleeping?

I let down easily at the beginning and it seems like a normal amount. It will sometimes spray out. While she's nursing I'll feel between 3 and 4 letdowns which I don't know if its normal? It seems like she takes ages to stimulate one where as before they seemed to come faster. I know I did have an oversupply because I EPd for 3 weeks and fed DD and froze 100 oz. I stopped pumping and have been just feeding her so I am wondering if that's why she was able to gain before and now that the oversupply is gone she's not gaining because the milk isnt coming as easily.

I've never been able to dream feed her. She refuses to open her mouth or latch. I've even tried to give her bottles of pumped milk and she wont even take a bottle. I suppose I could get her undressed and agitate her awake but I hate to do that.

[evasimone]

Update: I supplemented her twice yesterday with some frozen breastmilk. She was screaming and acting hungry but basically doing her flutter sucking and fighting at the boob. I managed to dream feed her at midnight (first time she's cooperated.) and she ate like a champ. Big, healthy sucks and drained both breasts in 30 minutes (and they were super engorged and lumpy). so I am certain now that for whatever reason she isn't breastfeeding effectively even though she has the ability.

I can't figure out why she's basically content to starve? I am going to try putting her to the breast less and see if she suckles more efficiently. Prior I was putting her to the breast hourly, basically whenever she cried and she still lost weight. So maybe if I go 1.5 hours between she'll find more motivation to suckle.

Either way I have an appointment with the pediatrician on Monday. I am wondering if I am harming her by this constant weight loss/stasis. I know he'll probably tell me to use formula but I'd like an honest opinion that's not from a Lactation consultant.

[evasimone]

Dream feed didn't go as well tonight. I also found a powerpoint done on breastfed babies that aren't gaining. Apparently slow weight gain begets slow weight gain and I should have nipped it in the bud rather than plodding along. Essentially I've been starving my child for 3 months.

I feel like I have been failed. I am angry at the lactation consultants I've worked with (all 3 of them.. yes, 3!)*. I am mad at the pediatrician for not being concerned sooner. I am mad at myself for brushing away my concerns, for letting other people convince me not to listen to my instincts. For brushing off my daughter's crying as fussy baby rather than hunger, for ignoring infrequent bowel movements (even the ped wasn't concerned). For not questioning the hours and hours of breastfeeding she was doing while never seeming sated (I thought cluster feeding). What kind of mother allows her baby to starve?

She's not on the growth charts anymore (the WHO not the CDC). Her length is good, her head circumference is good but her weight is under. Way under. Also at the breastfeeding group I weighed her with cloth diaper, cover, and onesie (which I do every week). I weighed those on my postage scale and they are a whopping 8 oz. She was probably 8 lbs 9 oz. on thursday not 9 lbs 1 oz.

That's 2 oz. since February 27th. and she's 11 weeks old.

Here's the powerpoint if anyone is interested.

I am pumping after feeds and barely getting anything, my milk supply is definitely lower. I am supplementing her every feed and I am going to have a heart to heart with her pediatrician on Monday. I am looking into getting a Lact-aid SNS but it will take 5 days to arrive with standard shipping.

*This thursday the IBCLC at the group told me that my baby looked good and that I probably had a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance and my baby needed to get more hind milk. I called the other IBCLC I worked with and she told me to just keep doing what I am doing and she wasn't concerned and she'd see me next Thursday.

[mpink22]

I was wondering if you have seen a breastfeeding medicine specialist. A doctor, not an ibclc. I saw one for the same reason and she helped tremendously.

[evasimone]

Originally Posted by mpink22 I was wondering if you have seen a breastfeeding medicine specialist. A doctor, not an ibclc. I saw one for the same reason and she helped tremendously.

I haven't I actually never realized their was such a thing. I will ask the pediatrician if he can refer me to one when I see him tomorrow. Thank you for suggesting it. I am also going to ask him if he is able to give me a prescription to get a rental baby scale so I can weigh her pre and post feeds and supplement what she needs.

[evasimone]

Pediatrician appointment was a waste of time and money. I saw a doctor that I have never seen before. He criticized me for having a home birth and basically ignored all of my concerns. DD gained half a pound thanks to my aggressive supplementing and so she was back on the chart but barely.

He spent time telling me cluster feeding was not real and made a derisive comment about how some women just like to have their babies on the boob all of the time (almost like he thinks they find it sexual).

I asked him about getting a scale and he looked at me like I was an idiot and told me, "Ican write scripts for anything but it doesn't mean insurance will cover it." And he's never heard of a breastfeeding specialist.

He also proclaimed DD had a weak suck and I should juggle her chin up and down while she's feeding.

I paid $67 for the privilege of that.

[l_Kimmie_l]

Originally Posted by evasimone Pediatrician appointment was a waste of time and money. I saw a doctor that I have never seen before. He criticized me for having a home birth and basically ignored all of my concerns. DD gained half a pound thanks to my aggressive supplementing and so she was back on the chart but barely. He spent time telling me cluster feeding was not real and made a derisive comment about how some women just like to have their babies on the boob all of the time (almost like he thinks they find it sexual). I asked him about getting a scale and he looked at me like I was an idiot and told me, "Ican write scripts for anything but it doesn't mean insurance will cover it." And he's never heard of a breastfeeding specialist. He also proclaimed DD had a weak suck and I should juggle her chin up and down while she's feeding. I paid $67 for the privilege of that.

What a douche. Yeah we moms LOVE having our nipples overstimulated all day and night. It is ro thrilling My son lives on the boob and there is nothing I can do about it. I have my nipples being touched, but you kinda have to when you nurse. He sounds completely uneducated.

[evasimone]

I am holding off on the SNS for now. I am picking up a rental scale and I am going to do a 24 hour pre and post feed weigh and get an overall picture of what she's transferring. I have already started considering this "the beginning of the end" and am trying to prepare myself. Their are things I can do more and I know that but I just am tired of the struggle and the worry and the expense (the amount I have spent makes me sick, more than a years worth of formula). I know their are women that will do anything to Breastfeed no matter the cost emotionally but I am not. I won't be making any hasty decisions but if she's not transferring well I don't think I have any more fight left in me.

Originally Posted by l_Kimmie_l What a douche. Yeah we moms LOVE having our nipples overstimulated all day and night. It is ro thrilling My son lives on the boob and there is nothing I can do about it. I have my nipples being touched, but you kinda have to when you nurse. He sounds completely uneducated.

I know right?!? And honestly if a mom enjoys breastfeeding (not sexually) than good for her. It's such a selfless activity I am jealous of those that love it.

[l_Kimmie_l]

I know you say you are preparing for the end, but have you tried reglan yet? Most insurance companies cover it and it will boost your supply. That could really help. Might be cheaper than formula (unless you can get WIC) and really help.