Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-16-2013, 12:58 PM   #121
leyash's Avatar
leyash
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4,913
Re: The spanking debate.

When I "get onto" my child, I am telling him to correct his behavior. That's what the term means to me, personally.

"Stop picking on your brother. Get up and move away."
"If you waste that food, you are not getting anything else in 10 minutes."

And so on. It's letting him know that what he's doing is not acceptable, and giving him a chance to make a better choice.

I say him because I have three boys, so it pertains to all.

Advertisement

leyash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2013, 01:01 PM   #122
ajane's Avatar
ajane
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 16,107
My Mood:
Re: The spanking debate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by leyash View Post
Really? Because I really could care less. How other people choose to parent their kids is solely up to them. I am not a perfect parent. I have flaws. MOST importantly, I don't know how other peoples kids are. I only know how mine are. And no, what I am taking personally, is being told that my way is the WRONG way, that my way is abusive, and lazy, and that I don't care about my kids because I choose to discipline them in a different way than some people prefer or choose. THAT'S what I take personally.
Then I must be misreading some of your posts, b/c you seem very frustrated and unsettled. Well, each side is going to have a wrong and right way, unfortunately. For me, spanking is wrong. But, in saying that or feeling that it doesn't mean that I'm saying you are wrong for your parenting style. It isn't a judgement against you personally, it is the way I feel about my parenting style. And, I addressed the lack of caring for your kids previously, but again, some people have a really bad way of saying things.
__________________
sahm to 3 little women and 1 little man who keep me extremely busy and take all of my time away from here!
I have LOTS of toys to sell....My Little Pony, Fisher Price ramp & speedway, Littlest Pet Shop, you name it I probably have it! PM me!
ajane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2013, 01:03 PM   #123
s@hmommy
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,402
Re: The spanking debate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by melfinn View Post
I have seen the wording "get onto him" used several times. I'm not sure what is meant by this? Is it physical or just a way to phase something and if so what. Sounds like it is starting out negative and if you (general you) look for the negative in the behavior that is what you will get.
Anytime I have heard it, it means to enforce some form of discipline, not necessarily anything negative. I think it may even be a more southern way of speaking, it is a very common phrase in my area.

For example, DH says he is going to "get on DD" about leaving her laundry in the floor for the 43565 time. He simply means he is going to go and have her pick it up and remind her that it needs to go in the hamper, or her favorite shirt she must wear every other day will not be clean when she needs it.
s@hmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2013, 01:04 PM   #124
leyash's Avatar
leyash
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4,913
Re: The spanking debate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ajane View Post
Then I must be misreading some of your posts, b/c you seem very frustrated and unsettled. Well, each side is going to have a wrong and right way, unfortunately. For me, spanking is wrong. But, in saying that or feeling that it doesn't mean that I'm saying you are wrong for your parenting style. It isn't a judgement against you personally, it is the way I feel about my parenting style. And, I addressed the lack of caring for your kids previously, but again, some people have a really bad way of saying things.
Who wouldn't be frustrated and unsettled at being told they are a sucky parent? lol

You saying that spanking is wrong, and me being a spanker, you are then telling me that my choice is wrong. I don't see how that could NOT be the case... If you were doing drugs, and I say "doing drugs is wrong" how does that NOT tell you that your choice to do drugs is wrong? That doesn't make any sense.

And yes, it is a judgement against me as a parent when you tell me that "parents that spank are lazy, don't REALLY care about their children, and spanking is abuse."

The only thing that says, is that I am a lazy parent, I don't care about my kids, and I am abusing them... all because I spank. Maybe you should go back and read every single post. You would see where I am being sarcastic, in retaliation to being called lazy and a crappy parent.
leyash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2013, 01:06 PM   #125
BrownCowMama's Avatar
BrownCowMama
Registered
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Stevensville MT
Posts: 125
We are spankers and I think the thing is to make sure it's really out of the need to discipline, and not just cause you're mad at the kid.
BrownCowMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2013, 01:06 PM   #126
leyash's Avatar
leyash
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4,913
Re: The spanking debate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by s@hmommy View Post
Anytime I have heard it, it means to enforce some form of discipline, not necessarily anything negative. I think it may even be a more southern way of speaking, it is a very common phrase in my area.

For example, DH says he is going to "get on DD" about leaving her laundry in the floor for the 43565 time. He simply means he is going to go and have her pick it up and remind her that it needs to go in the hamper, or her favorite shirt she must wear every other day will not be clean when she needs it.
Pretty sure that anything and everything that could possibly be said, coming from a spanker, is only going to be known as harsh, and abusive from now on. Because, that's just the style that spanking parents have... abusive, short, no time for their kids, and lazy. There is no possible way that a child who is spanked could feel that they are loved.

BTW for those who don't get it... I'm being sarcastic again.
leyash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2013, 01:07 PM   #127
leyash's Avatar
leyash
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4,913
Re: The spanking debate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrownCowMama View Post
We are spankers and I think the thing is to make sure it's really out of the need to discipline, and not just cause you're mad at the kid.
Agreed. I don't spank out of anger. At that point, it wouldn't be productive. THAT is what makes children scared of their parents, is when they come at them to hit them in anger. A spanking, in MY sense of the word, is something completely different. It's not me running around my house hitting my kid wherever I can reach them, screaming violent curse words and telling them how worthless they are, like most people are trying to make it look.
leyash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2013, 01:11 PM   #128
Adinanna'sMomma's Avatar
Adinanna'sMomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 498
Quote:
Originally Posted by jen_batten
My feelings on spanking is that no matter how many times we debate it here, and no matter how long we argue, we will not agree, lol.

We do spank.
Agree.
__________________
Jamberry Nails: Signature Style at Your Fingertips! Check out all the cute designs (over 300!!!) on my website at http://amberpennington.jamberrynails.net .
Adinanna'sMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2013, 01:12 PM   #129
JasmineMama's Avatar
JasmineMama
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,076
My Mood:
Re: The spanking debate.

I'm curious about ages and education of parents who choose to spank. I wonder if we would see a correlation here. I definitely think if I had become a parent young I would have done many MANY things differently -- probably including spanking -- not because I was bad or lazy or inherently flawed, but because I viewed the world differently in my teens/early twenties. I also am a way calmer person now than I used to be. But, I did used to get more upset/offended by every offhand remark and see almost any behavior as defiance or deliberate vs. now when I am much more likely to think a person is rude to me because of something that is going on with them and less that they are trying to ruin my day.
__________________
Mr. Man (8/09) , Little guy (6/11) and my little girl (1/14) missing my little beans (10/12) (03/13)
JasmineMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2013, 01:14 PM   #130
JasmineMama's Avatar
JasmineMama
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,076
My Mood:
Re: The spanking debate.

I've also never heard the term "get onto someone" before. But, we do "redd up" things where I am from so I can't say "getting onto someone" is strange
__________________
Mr. Man (8/09) , Little guy (6/11) and my little girl (1/14) missing my little beans (10/12) (03/13)
JasmineMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.