Can't Have the Birth I Want

[mommycass]

I would suggest talking to your midwife or other midwives about your situation and see what your options are with them. My midwife really wants to help us have the birth we want even though she won't be paid in full beforehand. We will be making payments still after the birth. We would have gone unassisted if she wasn't so flexible.
Good luck mama, hope you get it figured out

[calleiah]

Super big hugs! That's the position I was in with my 3rd. I ended up birthing in the hospital and it was a massive mistake that I wish I could undo every single day. The OB broke my sons arm at birth. It still kills me to think about it. I tell you that not to scare you but just to emphasize how important it is to follow our instincts.
Have you talked to other midwives? I found an amazing one for this pregnancy who looked at me (when I told her my Dh had been laid off) and said "Babies are blessings, not burdens. You pay me what you can, when you can and we'll get this baby here safely." I also have 10 months from the time of signing with her to pay off her fee.
Second thing I want to mention, see if any of the midwives have an insurance billing service who deals with the companies directly. They know exactly how to get the answers needed, what codes, etc and get much better results than just calling on your own. My Dh got a job right after I met with the midwife and her insurance billers were able to secure amazing coverage so our out of pocket is almost already completely covered.
Please don't give up yet. I believe there's a way, it might just require a lot of searching!

<hugs>

[Ainmemphis]

I don't have any experience dealing with this but just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are going through this and I really hope you are able to find a way to make things work so you can have the birth you are hoping for! Don't give up!

[twinpossible]

Originally Posted by mommycass I would suggest talking to your midwife or other midwives about your situation and see what your options are with them. My midwife really wants to help us have the birth we want even though she won't be paid in full beforehand. We will be making payments still after the birth. We would have gone unassisted if she wasn't so flexible. Good luck mama, hope you get it figured out

DDC from March...
I would be in the same boat as you if my midwife had not helped us out. She spread payments out over 12 months instead of 9 which made it possible for us to afford the homebirth. I have two suggestions, first see if she will do this for you. Have her write up a contract, that's what we did. OR do some more insurance foot work. It depends on your state laws but I was able to get my birth covered 100% (minus what's left of my deductible) because they did not have any midwives as "providers" in my area. I was able to get my midwife approved as a "provider" and then I was covered. I still have to pay upfront but in the end we will get our money back.
I saw other mama's suggestions on here which were awesome! Having a doula with midwife experience is a great idea or trying to find a midwife who is still in training would be cheaper. I personally would not take out a loan because I hate owing money. I cried when we had to finance the mini van...silly I know BUT you could start up a PP gift fund and ask people who were going to give you shower gifts to help you out with the homebirth costs.
Sorry mama, I hope you figure it out. I feel the same way about the hospital!

[satorifound]

What about finding a doctor's office that has midwives on staff? I had a wonderful hospital birth with my third child this way. The hospital had large jacuzzi tubs and the water birth was my favorite of the four I have had.

[cheezpoofs]

I actually received a call from my midwife while I was in the middle of typing this novel, so I now can talk to the insurance company in reference to her global code. We'll have to see what we can do. I also now know how her fee breaks down and hope that we'd be able to pay the full birth fee on credit card and she can bill insurance for the pre and postnatal care or something similar... I'll just have to make calls and talk to my hubby about it all...

[jackobeano]

Originally Posted by cheezpoofs I actually received a call from my midwife while I was in the middle of typing this novel, so I now can talk to the insurance company in reference to her global code. We'll have to see what we can do. I also now know how her fee breaks down and hope that we'd be able to pay the full birth fee on credit card and she can bill insurance for the pre and postnatal care or something similar... I'll just have to make calls and talk to my hubby about it all...

Great, so glad you have some options that will hopefully work out for you! Yay for home births

[cheezpoofs]

I wish it did work out.



My midwife is willing to work it out, but she can't afford to work for free and I can't afford even most of her fee. I don't expect or want her to work for free either, but I cannot leave my family drowning in debt to have the birth experience I want.

The biggest problem is really that my husband's company was bought by another and so the insurance carrier was changed when we began the new year. My original insurance company would have covered both midwife care and a home birth. I have no choice in who provides my health insurance, can't qualify for Medicaid and don't have time to get on it even if I did. Not to mention, our new health insurance company told hubby that they do cover home births and midwife care when he asked them before we were switched over. They now tell me that they do not cover midwife services unless they are "performed under direct supervision of a participating physician" and takes place at a "participating facility". This means that they won't cover any pre or postnatal care coverage provided by my midwife. While I may have been able to swing the cost of just the birth, I can't pay for that and the pre and postnatal care. Under this insurance "coverage", I have no choice about what kind of maternity care I can have. I can have a hospital birth or I can have a hospital birth. Or I can self-pay. I've been "covered" by this policy for seventeen days now and I already hate the company.

We cannot afford to take on any more debt and I wouldn't want to put our family under more financial stress to make this home birth happen. We're already stretched thinner than I feel comfortable with and with costs of everything rising and no guarantees of a raise for my hubby, I just can't see it being a wise idea to gather more debt unless it's for an emergency situation.

I don't really want a doula. If I can't have a home birth with a midwife, I don't see the point in paying for extra "support people". I do think that my husband and I can get on the same page and we're both pretty tough and wouldn't be bullied easily. I don't think a doula will be able to stop an unwanted episiotomy any better than my husband would. I have no worries about my ability to decline drugs. That I WILL do on my own.

No shower to be had and our families just gifted us large amounts of money last year to buy our house. I wouldn't ask again so soon. Neither set of parents would understand why it's important to me to have a home birth and I don't think either would be supportive enough to fund it. My parents are fairly stingy with money when it comes to me also; but there are other matters at play here too, including my husband not wanting my mother present at the birth. I wouldn't feel right to say "No, you can't be here for the birth, but please pay for it."

There is a hospital with midwives that have a great reputation located about forty-five minutes away. I am comfortable with this distance because my labors go for a full day and then some, but my husband only seems to remember the short time I was in labor with my second baby from the "You need to come now!" to the time baby was born (Midwife arrived with only about a half hour to spare.). He also worries about complications, bad weather, having the kids with us, a car accident, baby born in the van, etc. The closest hospital that we would go to doesn't have naturally-minded staff that I know of, though I have never done any research on the matter. On their website, I certainly didn't see any CNMs mentioned.

As for other midwives in the area, there is one more in a close vicinity and she wouldn't work out any better for me. She isn't covered by my insurance either and switching midwives doesn't exactly fix my money issue unless I switch to one that's covered by my insurance and has a birth center that is also covered by my insurance. There is another midwife located far enough away that it wouldn't be especially practical for me to see her and it's still the non-covered home birth/ not practicing under an OB.

I know it seems like I'm just shooting down all the suggestions and I find it frustrating when other people do that; but I have thought and thought about this and despite my very strong desire to have a home birth, I cannot leave our family drowning in debt long-term just because I want to avoid the hospital. The odds are higher that baby and I can have a non-perfect, yet non-traumatic birth experience at a hospital than that it would be hellish. I know odds aren't comforting when it's you who have to live with the poor outcome of the decisions you've made/ that have been forced onto you. We can only make choices based on the information we have beforehand, unfortunately.

[jaelynsmommy61607]

You've been seeing this midwife the entire time right? Why hasn't the insurance covered prenatal upto this point? Did you check state medical? Often the limits ate higher for pregnancy and they back pay IME.

[Green Decals]

One last option... Have your midwife bill in full to the ins co that you were covered under until 12/31, with a date of sometime in December. My midwife gives me the full bill at my first appt, I have until week 34 to pay it in full. Just a thought, and