Toddlers on a leash

[jennayoung99]

Originally Posted by carriek38 How incredibly condescending...and I'll leave it at that

I ment metaphorical you, not you in general. If you didn't see, later on in my post I wrote how it could be beneficial.

[s@hmommy]

Originally Posted by jennayoung99 I think if you have one child the harness is unnecessary, if your child is a runner you just need to be more vigilant. my dd runs sometimes, and if that happens she loses her privilege to walk around and have freedom, she gets carried, put in a cart or a stroller. Same goes if she refuses to hold my hand in a busy area or near a street or parking lot. I do see however how they are useful for large families, if you have 4 under 5 and are trying to make sure everyone is taken care of it can be a safety issue. I guess its just when I see a child at the very end of their leash pulling and sceaming while the mother looks the other direction and finishes her conversation. if its used for its intended purpose, only for an emergency bolt, but the child is still being taught to stay near mom, then ya go ahead, but not if its being used instead of actual parenting (which is what I feel most of the time when I see it) P.S. my mom said I had a leash it just went on my wrist and it was only for busy areas like the mall, but I never did bolt.

I would say they are being vigilant and proactive. I think it is good to see parents realizing that their child doesn't yet know their boundaries and they need a safe solution for them to explore and still learn rules.

I have personally never used one, but I only have two lo's right now and I don't often have to go out with both of them alone. Once our 3rd arrives I am considering having one handy for ds who is my free spirited little explorer that occasionally forgets that he can't wander as freely as he would like.

[jennayoung99]

I guess I should reiterate that my beef is not with the leash itself, its the way I personally have seen it used. Its a teaching tool, if you are teaching with it then I have no issues, if its being used so people don't have to watch their child then it gets on my nerves.

[Joyful Tie Dyes]

Originally Posted by carriek38 How incredibly condescending...and I'll leave it at that

No kidding.

I used a leash with my ONE kid. Not a monkey backpack either. A black nylon harness and leash. He was a runner and VERY fast. I have bad knees and DON'T run that fast especially pregnant. I'm not risking MY child's life b/c of some judgmental people.

And as far as it being 'disrespectful' to my child. He vastly preferred the leash to the stroller or the Ergo. I was absolutely respecting him by allowing him to make the choice for himself. I don't drag him, he walks with me but if he suddenly decides to dart I know he's safe.

[luvsviola]

It really depends on the kid IMO...

DD1 and DS required a leash if they weren't in a stroller. Both were runners. It allowed them to explore, but kept them safe. DS wouldn't come back, and has no impluse control.

DD2 doesn't need a leash. She will happily hold my hand. She has a very different personality than the other two.

[hac1224]

We do have one that we used a few times with my youngest. I wouldn't use it so much more everyday stuff like shopping (not that I have a problem with those that do), but I love it for the zoo and other similar places where I want my kids to be able to explore but keep the youngest from running off. I don't know that I would need it now that she's 3, but I guess we will see this summer.

[carriek38]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl I only have one kid and I used a leash. He was a runner and we live on a very busy college campus. People drive like maniacs down our street not paying attention to anything but looking for a parking spot. So when DS got to the point where he thought it was hilarious to pull his hand away and run into the street...damn straight we got a leash. Luckily he doesn't do this anymore. He got hit by a bicycle and now he stays close.

Thank goodness it was "only" a bike! DD went through that phase, too. Sooo not funny!

DD is squirmy & headstrong...better now, at nearly 3, than she was a year ago, but she knows her mind. I tend to be nervous about such things, but it's not just me--DD has darted away on DP & the sitter...possibly my mom too, but I can't remember . And I live in the land of snow and ice...I fear that people in pickups & SUVs won't see DD until it's too late if she were to dart in front of them.

Originally Posted by jennayoung99 I ment metaphorical you, not you in general. If you didn't see, later on in my post I wrote how it could be beneficial.

Sure, but what you wrote qualified that for families w/ an only, it's "unnecessary", those parents need to be more vigilant, and you can see how they can be useful in larger families.

I'm just saying, there are plenty of times where I have my one and only out with me and she either won't ride in the cart (as in, climbs out) or my hands are just stinkin' full...Or I am holding her hand and her teeny little sweaty toddler hand is slick & slippery, & DD wants to go look at whatever shiny thing "over there" & she's gone...

I didn't think it was a blanket comment about me, or even particular people in this thread, just that it's easy to be condescending & unthinkingly, unintentionally, make statements that come across as judgmental &/or out of touch when you haven't btdt. I think of DD as pretty normal, but at times I realize that she's just a little precocious and a lot impulsive...our expectations for her are very clear, there are consistent consequences. It's still not enough to deter her from not just naughty or inconvenient, but downright risky behavior. Some people are lucky enough to have an easy kid the first time around...and some of us are not . Some of us have the ability to be very flexible and let our kids take the lead...and for some of us, life is a finely tuned machine, & just one malfunctioning cog is enough to throw it all into disarray

Originally Posted by jennayoung99 I guess I should reiterate that my beef is not with the leash itself, its the way I personally have seen it used. Its a teaching tool, if you are teaching with it then I have no issues, if its being used so people don't have to watch their child then it gets on my nerves.

So glad you feel as though it's your place to interpret the reason why a parent is using a particular tool.

[SamanthaLove88]

Originally Posted by carriek38 So glad you feel as though it's your place to interpret the reason why a parent is using a particular tool.

I was going to comment on this thread and then I saw this. Yet ANOTHER person twisting up someone's words on DS. Boy, this never gets old, does it? She clearly explained that the first statement she made wasn't what she meant. So what's the point of gushing more about it?

Anywho...
I agree with the non-leashers. I've literally seen someone use one by dragging, yes dragging their little boy around the grocery store. At one point she was really not paying attention and he fell flat on his back on a really hard floor. This does happen and people don't use them properly. I won't ever use one. My kids prefer hand holding, cart holding, being in a cart, a stroller, being carried or being worn.

If used properly of course it has benefits but it is just not for me or my family.

[Dory]

Originally Posted by AbbieJack Well yes I "went there" because it is what I think about leashes. She asked for opinions so I stated mine. I believe that children are brighter and more intelligent than a dog so you could teach them to obey and walk along beside you. Honest question if you don't lead your child with it than what exactly do you do?

You DRAG your dog on a leash?! That's just inhumane.

I had my dog lay down on the side of the road once during a walk. I didn't drag him, I walked home carrying 65 lbs of tired dog. Uphill, both ways, in the snow, with nothing but Ziploc bags on my feet.

Just kidding about the last part. It was August.

The few times we used the harness with my kids we held their hand while the loop end was around one of our wrists. It was a backup measure. Because when teaching, there's always that period of time where you're still teaching because they haven't completely caught on yet.

[eahcapemay]

This is a serious question- would you rather see a toddler pitching a fit in a stroller or walking on a leash? I so wear DS but at almost 40lbs, when going to buy groceies it's not my first choice.

The thing is DS will walk along the street and stay fairly close to me. He isn't a runner, he just won't hold my hand. So i'd just like the added protection of a leash.