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Old 01-19-2013, 04:31 PM   #1
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Party Ettiquette

So today was ds's bday party. One of his friends showed up but didn't want to stay. Both his parents tried convincing him but no dice. So after about 20 min in the foyer of the venue they left. Should I have sent their present with them? I feel bad they had to buy a gift and not get to at least enjoy the party! This is not an isolated event btw, their son often doesn't want them to leave him at school, friends houses etc so I suppose they must expect it to some degree. DS opened the gift before I even realized it was from the child that left. Should I do or say anything? I'll be sending his goody bag to school on Monday.

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Old 01-19-2013, 04:36 PM   #2
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Re: Party Ettiquette

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So today was ds's bday party. One of his friends showed up but didn't want to stay. Both his parents tried convincing him but no dice. So after about 20 min in the foyer of the venue they left. Should I have sent their present with them? I feel bad they had to buy a gift and not get to at least enjoy the party! This is not an isolated event btw, their son often doesn't want them to leave him at school, friends houses etc so I suppose they must expect it to some degree. DS opened the gift before I even realized it was from the child that left. Should I do or say anything? I'll be sending his goody bag to school on Monday.
We have had some incredibly withdrawn friends in the past; thank goodness they have grown out of it. I would have a chat with one of the parents and say you are concerned. You could ask them if there is anything you can do to help for future events. Would it help if one of the parents could stay?

I think expressing your concern and regret that the kid didn't stay and thanking him for the gift is appropriate. Very sweet of you to send the goody bag, too.
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:08 PM   #3
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Giving the gift back would have been awkward. I agree that reaching out to him would be good. Maybe the kid would do better with a one on one play date vs a party?
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:21 PM   #4
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Re: Party Ettiquette

Ok that makes me feel better. He has been to our house twice actually! His mom stayed for a bit the first time and then left and he was fine. The second time she didn't need to stay at all. They told me he was afraid of the museum where the party was today.
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:34 PM   #5
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Re: Party Ettiquette

I think if they left the gift then it would be weird to return it. I mean who takes back a gift even if they have to leave sweet of you with the favor bag though
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:45 PM   #6
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Re: Party Ettiquette

I think a birthday present is a gift, not a party ticket, so it would not have been okay to return it, and great idea to send the goody bag- would just package it up so it doesn't all get pulled out at school.
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:49 PM   #7
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Re: Party Ettiquette

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I think a birthday present is a gift, not a party ticket, so it would not have been okay to return it, and great idea to send the goody bag- would just package it up so it doesn't all get pulled out at school.
Yes to this!
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Old 01-19-2013, 06:13 PM   #8
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If I were that child's parent, I would have expected you to keep the gift. No questions about it!
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Old 01-19-2013, 06:34 PM   #9
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I think a birthday present is a gift, not a party ticket, so it would not have been okay to return it, and great idea to send the goody bag- would just package it up so it doesn't all get pulled out at school.
Yep. I would also have ds write/draw a thank you note to send with the goody bag since his friend wasnt there to recieve a thank you in person.
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Old 01-19-2013, 09:27 PM   #10
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Re: Party Ettiquette

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Giving the gift back would have been awkward. I agree that reaching out to him would be good. Maybe the kid would do better with a one on one play date vs a party?
I agree. I wouldn't give the gift back because it would just make them feel bad. But I'm sure he will like the goody bag.
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