SAHPs: How much do you play with your kids?

[nohollyhomaker]

I don't play with my kids. They play on their own. I read to them, talk to them, do snap circuits with ds and I do educational stuff with them. I take them for hikes and other activities. They generally stay in the vicinity or room that I am in. They sometimes help if I am doing laundry or in the kitchen or often are in the room or the next room over when I am doing that.

[alsatia23]

My five year old is a child that needs constant attention. If by the off chance he is actually playing by himself, he needs me there to respond to his every action "mommy, look the guy did this" then "mommy, look now he's up here" then "mommy, see now he's looking for this." So I feel like I spend all day interacting with him when he's home and not at preschool. My other two are able to play by themselves. I try to spend several quality play-times with them through-out the day and the rest of the time try and get stuff done. Oh and we try to do one art/craft before lunch.

[EmilytheStrange]

I just have DD who is coming up on 28 months now and if we're home, we play together. I try not to get on the computer or phone while she's awake and the tv doesn't get turned on until she goes to bed, with the exception on an episode for her while I shower and sometimes her potty video after nap.

We get out of the house most days though, playgroups and such and I encourage her to go play. When I'm cooking, I encourage her to go play, but she's not an independent player, so it's hard to get her to actually leave my side.

[OatmealKisses]

This has been a huge issue on my mind. We live with my Inlaws right now. My MIL constantly says we don't play enough with my son. I spend all day with him. I don't vacuum, do laundry, clean, go on the computer, put away dishes, or do ANYTHING when my kids are awake. I literally sit there on the floor and bounce back and forth from one to the other withing with my son and daughter. One thing I DO need to start now is reading to them, but my son will not stay still for it so I guess I will read to my daughter and maybe he will decide to come over and listen. Besides that, I am right there with them every second of the time they are awake. I am exhausted at the end of the day. I can't get anything done! When we moved in my son was 6 months old and could self entertain for awaile, now he is almost 16 months old and screams for attention every second of the day. It is not possible to give him anymore of my attention than I'm already giving him. I'm losing my mind.

[BNC]

Originally Posted by kannondicarpo I send mine OUT to play a LOT (even the 2 year old). I entertain them as babies and infants and when they are ready to go explore I release them. I don't remember my parents playing with us often (I was #2 of 6 in our household) but we had a BLAST growing up. We were always outside or in the basement building forts and crashing cars and stuff. I let mine figure disagreements out between themselves for the most part. It's a valuable life skill to be able to compromise and think creatively when you don't agree. If there aren't [real] tears I don't go in -- unless I'm just o.v.e.r. the fighting for the day. I think you are doing just fine. Find a hobby that you can do with interruptions and give take some time to create a space that they can learn to really enjoy! Way to go mama on recognizing that you need some time as well. ETA: Oh, we do crafts often but not very complicated ones (since they really can't sit still very long) and then they are back to playing. We also read together and color sometimes or play card games. Most everything else is free play where they get to make up the rules/boundaries/time limits...

Originally Posted by nonipie I try to give them 15 min. a day of quality one on one interaction. Try, not always successful. Those activities include impromptu dance party, helping me make food, reading a few books etc. But otherwise they free play. I try not to get involved unless they need help or direction like doing an art project, painting etc. I sit directly next to my DD when coloring and doing play-doh because she is prone to stick things in her mouth. I go about my day and incorporate them into it. If I need to wash the dishes, fold laundry etc. then I do and they tag along and/or help. My 6 year old is able to fold and put clothes away, dust, put away dishes. They fight a lot. Either they are best friends or bitter enemies. I let them handle it. Hitting or hurting each other is not acceptable and I get involved but if it's over a toy or someone said someone else was not the boss of them, I'm sorry I just don't have the energy to manage that.

Both of these. ^^


I dont play with them. I incorporate them into tasks and we usually do something crafty each day.

When the weather is nice, I send them all outside to play in the fenced back yard.

We usually tell the oldrr 2 (5&3) "figure it out or duke it out". There is very rarely any hitting now that my 5 yr old figured out the 3 yr old can hold her own, lol. Mainly they bargain and trade to get what they want. Im always surprised at the solutions they come up with.

[Icryinbaseball]

I really only play when they ask me to. Sometimes not at all. Sometimes I will spend 2-3 hours a day playing with them. We used to have game night 1 night a week, but schedules got in the way.

[lizgrace07]

My kids are 5, 4, and 2. They play together, fight, and play some more all day long. I am present if they need something, need help with something, need help resolving a conflict, etc. But they come find me when they need something. I don't sit around watching them. I'd die of boredom! I don't see that as my role. I think it's better for them to play together. They don't need me hovering over them. I say let the fights happen and when you hear an argument you can go and help them talk through it. The more you do that, the more they will learn how to work out problems and will be able to do it a lot of the time without it escalating.

[DesertRat]

Rarely. Almost never. But I had 4 kids in 4.5 years, so they never lack a playmate. We do play board games together as a family, especially now that they are old enough to get "real" games besides Hi Ho Cherry-O. And if we get craft things out like perler beads or shrinky dinks, they do require a little more supervision. But my kids play outside a lot and play together. When they start fighting or teasing they get chores to to.

[happysmileylady]

I struggle to meet my goal of an hour a day total. I don't always meet that goal

[catilina]

Can I just say, I am so relieved to read all this? I have been beating myself up over my lack of interest in playing with them lately and have been racked with guilt that I'm not being/doing enough for them. I always thought that other SAHMs spend their entire days just playing and being involved with and focusing on their kids, and it is good to hear that this just isn't true. I used to play with them a lot more, or at least interact with them a lot more while they played, but now that they are a bit older they are constantly running back and forth and it's hard to keep up with them just to interact here and there with their playing. I sit in the toyroom with them and play with them or clean up while they play for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour or more every day, and then I actively play with them (roughhousing, chasing them, picking them up and swinging them around, dancing, etc) at least another 15 minutes/kid every day. They often help me in the kitchen or sit at the counter and color/do crafts while I cook or clean. And sometimes they play at my feet while I am busy in the kitchen or laundry room. Then of course we read a lot throughout the day. But for much of the day they are off playing alone or together while I am trying to get stuff done around the house, or working on stuff for church, or preparing meals. I just sometimes feel guilty that I am not with them more during the day, especially when they fight sooooo much when I'm not with them.