Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-23-2013, 11:42 PM   #121
Rdesonia's Avatar
Rdesonia
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,717
My Mood:
Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hillargh View Post
You've never called a girlfriend upset needing to vent? Talked about how something bugged you? Ever? You don't have to "run someone down" to complain. Even something as simple as, "DH is driving me nuts, he never picks up his socks! Agh!" Are you newly weds? Lol. You'd be the first person I've ever heard of that has never confided in others about a single issue, then.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using DS Forum
Or maybe we need to introduce all the single ladies on here to his brothers!

Advertisement

__________________
Sahm married to a wonderful man who does the dishes with DS 11/18/02 and DD 7/11/11

My Come Swag with me! http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/rdesonia
Rdesonia is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2013, 11:45 PM   #122
Hillargh
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 7,903
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rdesonia View Post

Or maybe we need to introduce all the single ladies on here to his brothers!
Right? Psh, give me one of those!

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using DS Forum
Hillargh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 12:58 AM   #123
MinkaK's Avatar
MinkaK
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Vegas :)
Posts: 11,439
My Mood:
Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by addicteddad View Post
As a guy, I find it funny that I have similar complaints.
2. How to load a dishwasher. Granted I'm extremely organized and have good spatial understanding, but watching her or most women I know load a dishwasher looks like the result of a pigeon playing Jenga.

7. Clean the car. Finish your bottled waters!
OMG I am laughing so hard over here that I am crying. Those are both complaints DH has of me. He doesn't want to open the dishwasher in the morning even if we are out of our large coffee mugs because he knows that the way I put everything in will make him want to unload it so it won't be like that. And my car is a mess and I have like three half empty water cups/bottles to clean. ( and to be fair I water the plants with that extra water-so it IS helping )
__________________
Alana
Mama to my sweet babies 2007, 2009, 2011 and someone new in 2014
MinkaK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 06:15 AM   #124
Computermama
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 13,800
My Mood:
Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

It's the enabling. For sure. My father went straight from my grandmother's house where she did everything to being married to my mother, who ran with his expectation that she would do everything. Now, other than taking out the garbage, he only will do a task if mom specifically asks him to and coaches him through it.

My DH can and will clean and look after the girls. For the most part he doesn't because I do. We work opposite shifts and while there will still be nights when I get home at close to midnight and the house looks like a disaster, for the most part, DH will play with them, feed them, get them ready for bed and put them to bed, and usually at least the kitchen will be cleaned up some and the dishwasher will be run if its full. He will sweep and/or mop the floor if it's obviously needing it, but won't do it as a matter of course. I'm very particular about the laundry, but if I ask him to do something specific he will. I'm quite confident that if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, he could manage the household. It might be somewhat disasterlike for a while as he figures out how, but he would eventually figure it out. Will it be done exactly as I would have done it? Nope, but it will all get done. Most guys will figure it out. Some won't admittedly, but most will.
Computermama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 07:17 AM   #125
NYCVeg
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 205
Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Decals
Okay, this thread kind of annoys me - just like the man-bashing that goes on in parenting magazines, making dads out to be incapable fools or child-rearing idiots. It's shameful, and women should have more respect for their husbands (and their sons, who are growing up in this culture of "incapable" men). My husband pulls his weight and then some, including laundry, cooking, cleaning, child health responsibilities, farm chores, and working full-time. If your husband is "incapable" then teach him. Otherwise, you are just enabling him, and I personally feel that the enabling and man-bashing is detrimental to children and not conducive to a healthy marriage.
I agree completely. My partner is just that...a partner. He is as capable as me in every part of our domestic life (except cooking, in which he is far superior) and we split household jobs equally. As far as I can tell, a penis in no way inhibits someone's ability to load a dishwasher, cook a meal, or get his kid ready for school in the morning.
NYCVeg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 07:38 AM   #126
Almacham
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Slytherin House
Posts: 15,946
My Mood:
Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Decals View Post
Trashing your husband behind his back is downright disrespectful. I fail to see how doing so in a public forum benefits your husband. If you are coming here to vent that your DH is "so ill-equipped to exist" then clearly you have issues that need to be addressed - and not here. My husband isn't perfect. Neither am I. But we are a team, a partnership, and we pay equal roles in our household and in parenting. I am more peeved about the general attitude of our society than this specific post - your post is simply one of many that carry the same tone.

ETA: How many of the mamas participating in this "good natured rant" would unashamedly share their posts with their husbands? If the roles were reversed and your DH was ranting to other guys about how "ill-equipped to exist" YOU are, how would you feel? If your children could read, would you share this with them?
My SO reads my posts here often. He can read the ones in this thread, too. Knock yourself out, my love - I'm only being honest.

I am pretty certain that he has complained about me in a similar manner, for different things.... To his friends and, ironically enough, his mama.

I have yet to ever hear of or meet another couple that don't complain about one another even once. Now, if it were a constant thing I would show some concern. Otherwise I feel like one should vent away because you don't want resentment to build up and hopefully the person /people you are venting to are able to help give you a fresh perspective, advice, etc.

And if my SO said I am ill equipped to exist or handle my responsibilities I would be pretty pissed off because it would be nothing short of a big fat lie. I have cooked, cleaned, raised children and kept my family afloat for my entire adult life.
__________________
Sarah, mom of many
Almacham is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 07:57 AM   #127
EmilytheStrange's Avatar
EmilytheStrange
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Mountain Home, ID
Posts: 7,418
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by MakingHome


I'm sitting here racking my brain... I don't think I ever have. Honestly. Sorry to be so straight out about it, but I just don't think I have.

I try to build him up when I'm with him and build him up when we're not together. From the beginning we've worked really hard to think "we" not "me"... and so I just don't gripe about him to other people. ANY complaints I have about something would be voiced directly to him... I just don't see why I'd want to run him down in front of my friends and make them think less of him.

When friends talk badly about their husbands to me, it's almost impossible for me to forget or overlook *that* thing... it definitely colors my impressions and views... I don't want others to see my husband through a negative lens that I've colored for them to look through.
I'm with you. We had a premarital counseling session that warned us not to do that. Because people always remember how you color your spouse.

So in my memory, I never have called a friend to vent about my husband. Doesn't mean I didn't have times when I wanted to...

The other day I pointed out something that drove me insane to a friend about my husband and I felt really weird and guilty about it. I can't remember what it was.

I'm not a perfect wife. My husband is not a perfect man... But I don't want my friends seeing my husband and thinking of things I've said. Sure, my friends would know I was just upset and probably exaggerated, but even so. It colors them.

I don't mind threads on here that vent. It's certainly better since people need an outlet. But I didn't even really see the OP as a generic vent. More like a discussion of why 'some people' are incapable of taking care of themselves. And I think the general consensus seems to be that their lives are filled with enablers.
__________________
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.
EmilytheStrange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 09:34 AM   #128
JennTheMomma's Avatar
JennTheMomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 7,820
My Mood:
I've also never spoke badly about my DH to anyone. It's totally possible to not vent about your spouse.
JennTheMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 10:20 AM   #129
mibarra
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,989
Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennTheMomma View Post
I've also never spoke badly about my DH to anyone. It's totally possible to not vent about your spouse.
Maybe it depends on personality, and maybe on the man you married, too. Not everyone's marriage does or should look the same. I've vented about my DH. Sometimes to him. I got frustrated with him just the other day because he was feeling well enough to go socialize with some friends in the morning, but then all the sudden too sick to take 5 minutes to pick up 2 gallons of milk. So I had to hall my 30 weeks pregnant self and 3 year old to the store. Then come home and go get the 2 year old from daycare. Then cook dinner even though it makes me nauseous and gag to cook right now. I know it wasn't his fault and he had no control over when he wasn't feeling well, but the timing sucked, and I wasn't feeling too hot either.

I guess we just all have to agree to disagree!
mibarra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 10:29 AM   #130
Farmer's Wife's Avatar
Farmer's Wife
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Canada but have a P.O. in Washington!
Posts: 942
My Mood:
Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

I'm very lucky that my DH does everything I do, in fact, he does more since he gets up with the baby every morning at 6 and lets me sleep until 8. He does diaper laundry and washes the poop out and really manages the house from dishes to laundry to feeds to naps. I chalk it down to his upbringing. His mom really enforced responsibility with her boys. They had to do their own laundry, clean their room and cook for themselves early on. She's the sweetest too so it wasn't that she was mean, she just explained everything to them so it made sense for them. In their teen years, she would give them money to plan out an eating plan for the week for the whole family (4 people). Then she would take them to the store and they would have to choose what to buy with a budget and the menu. They would then cook for the week. The other son would do the dishes for the week. I think it was a wonderful way to teach smart money matters and responsibility. She really taught them about everything in life, explaining things for them. In the end they were both bachelors into their 30's, in fact my bil is still single at 40 and DH was 35 when we met and married. Such good catches, I SO wish my bil would find a great girl and settle down but he feels that ship has sailed. He is self-sufficient and still helps with family dinners, etc. All this to say that I think moms determine how their boys are when they grow up! Lets not drop the ball for our sons, ladies!
__________________
Jill~Married the Love of My Life, Craig (03/27/10), Mama to Asher 01/07/11 & Esmé 04/15/12 & EDD 02/09/14
Farmer's Wife is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.