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Old 01-25-2013, 07:09 AM   #171
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Apparently about as much time as one spends b!tching about other people b!tching.

ETA: Seriously, it's either they're coddled and are allowed to get away with it, or omg don't prove a point just do it and reinforce the coddling. Hello middle ground, my name is nonexistent.

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Thank you. I didn't even know what to say to that, but you summed up my WTF perfectly.

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Old 01-25-2013, 09:07 AM   #172
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Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

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Apparently about as much time as one spends b!tching about other people b!tching.

ETA: Seriously, it's either they're coddled and are allowed to get away with it, or omg don't prove a point just do it and reinforce the coddling. Hello middle ground, my name is nonexistent.

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Point is, stuff gets done around my house. I am not on here complaining about things not getting done. It's that whole maturity/responsibility thing, KWIM?
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Old 01-25-2013, 11:24 AM   #173
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Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

NM.

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Old 01-25-2013, 11:30 AM   #174
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Stuff gets done in my house too. There are definitely times when one has to 'suck it up' and do it. BUT, if you really have someone just straight up not pulling their weight, nothing ever changes if you keep doing it for them. Sometimes the mature/responsible thing to do is stop taking care of everything for other people and force them to take responsibility for themselves. Clearly you handle things differently in your marriage, and that's fine. But you're coming off awfully judgmental and rude about people who do things differently, whether it's intentional or not.
^^ this!
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Old 01-25-2013, 03:21 PM   #175
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Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

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Point is, stuff gets done around my house. I am not on here complaining about things not getting done. It's that whole maturity/responsibility thing, KWIM?
wow. you're relationship obviously works for you but other people have other dynamics and other needs. we made need to vent or express ourselves in a way that you dont need or dont wish to partake in. that doesnt make you the ultimate everything and everybody else losers. that is the way your posts are coming off as. your way is not the only way. i'm cool with you not liking certain type of vents or threads....that works for you. but I like commiserating with other wives and that is what works for me. i promise i am happily married, going on 11 years. i must be doing something right so again, there are more than one way to make it work.
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Old 01-25-2013, 03:34 PM   #176
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Re: Why Are Most Men So Ill-Equiped To Exist?

My husband's mother was still picking out and setting out his clothing as a senior in highschool. His grandmother was still cleaning his room when he was in community college. When he got his first job, his grandmother packed his lunches for him, did his laundry, etc.

There are a lot of things I didn't learn growing up. But as an adult, I stepped and learned how to do it. I do NOT understand how so many men can't seem to do that, no matter how much they were babied growing up.

I've tried the "I'm on strike!" thing, adn the only person who ended up angry and frustrated was me. He didn't care if there were condement stains on the counters. Wipe them up? Nah! Not necessary. He didn't care if there was food spilled on the stove top. He didn't care if the microwave was splattered. He didn't care if there were poop smears in the toilet bowl. He couldn't see that the mirrors needed cleaned because they were spotty. He doesn't care if there's clutter all over our desks, bookshelves, etc.


ETA: Wow! Just read some more of the thread, and I can't believe some of hte uppity snobs of "I married the perfect man and if yours isn't perfect you should communicate with him or not have married him! It's your fault!"... really? 1) who said none of us speak to our spouses? speaking does not equal instant change 2) some of the quirks you learn you don't like about another person can't be known until you've lived/been married to someone for awhile. I was already committed to my husband before I moved in with him/married him, and we were together for about 3 years before I married him.
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Old 01-25-2013, 04:03 PM   #177
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I can feel the flames already for what I'm about to say. In my opinion, (see MY opinion!!!) gender equality is a myth. There are certain things that women can't do or can't do a well as men simply because they are women. Same goes for men. So this is where I think some division of "mans work" vs "women's work" is good. Those things to me are generally bigger things, but they exists nonetheless, which is why gender equality is a joke to me.
That being said, my husband is a much better housekeeper than I am. He works and I stay home with the kids. But it's because I had hard pregnancies and want really capable of doing much. He has always said he'd much rather be a stay at home dad and I would much rather get out for awhile everyday. I feel like he takes care of things much better than me, although he would disagree. But it's a respect thing with us. He respects and admits that me staying home all day with three kids is a MUCH harder job than he does.
But then again I hit the jackpot with him since every other guy I've ever been with has been supremely ill equipped to exist.
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Old 01-25-2013, 04:07 PM   #178
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I think in many cases they don't realize what is important or why. A previous poster mentioned her DH asked her why she doesnt leave XYZ chore until tomorrow. Because he really doesn't get why that chore is that important or why it's important to do it right away.

I also think in many cases, they are lazy about the house. My dad once told my mom, why should I do it if I can get you to do it. And I think those two things go hand in hand. It's not a big deal to them if there are drips on the counter but they know if it's important enough to their spouse, she will take care of it.

I also think that there's an evolutionary component to. I think that generally guys have the "protect and provide" gene and women have the "nurture and care for" gene.

.
I think that gene skipped over me.
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Old 01-25-2013, 04:44 PM   #179
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Maybe they lived on rice and beans, and saw their dead cat have a sweater put on it. Those are severely detrimental, dontcha kno.

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Old 01-25-2013, 04:54 PM   #180
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Point is, stuff gets done around my house. I am not on here complaining about things not getting done. It's that whole maturity/responsibility thing, KWIM?
Stuff eventually gets done here too. However, after 17 years with the same man, I get sick of doing it all. So I complain and then do xyz. Makes me feel better.

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