Would your DH/SO go to the hospital?

[AngelTV83]

We would both go. Dd was in the hospital at 2 weeks for 4 days and neither of us left. He went to get food from the cafeteria I never left her room except to go to x-ray with her.

[EmmaGM]

I don't mean to sound like one of those "child abuse divorce your husband!" harpies but 3 hours with a broken foot? Wth? That's cruel!

Dh absolutely would go, with or without me, and would be able to answer all medical questions pertaining to our son.

[3 ladybugs]

DH would if I asked him to but honestly in that situation I would go with the ill-er child. That is what I did in the NICU with 2 in there. Emily got most of my attention at first because she was more ill. Once Alexander started sliding backwards he got most of my attention... that is till the one day where I had a team of doctors and nurses working on both children at the same time... then I just cried!

It doesn't surprise me about the NICU. Honestly my DH was a RARITY. Several babies didn't have anyone visit them much. A couple I knew were getting regular phone calls day and the parents just couldn't be there. Then there were several that only the mom would visit, or if the dad came, they would look at them for 2-5 minutes and spend the rest of the time in the hall or whatever. I spent 10-12 hours by my child's side. DH had to work but was there every night (bedside) for at least 3+ hours. This is with a 1.5 hour commute to the hospital for him from work.

There were a few others like my DH but he was rare. I remember a lesbian couple that it took me a good month before I realized that they were not the same person! They lived a few blocks away and took turns being vigil over their daughter's bedside. Someone was there 22 hours a day (there were 2 one hour shift changes where you couldn't be there unless it was dire).

[Kiliki]

Originally Posted by EmmaGM I don't mean to sound like one of those "child abuse divorce your husband!" harpies but 3 hours with a broken foot? Wth? That's cruel! Dh absolutely would go, with or without me, and would be able to answer all medical questions pertaining to our son.

I think it depends on how badly the foot was broken.

Sometimes a break in the foot is small and there really isn't anything they can do anyway, other than say, "yup, it broke. Here's a tylenol."

DH broke his foot twice, and that was the result.

So, unless it was a SEVERE break, like a car ran over it, or it was stomped on by a horse or there were bones sticking out or something, it's not always a huge deal to wait a bit (or even to not go in at all - depending on the situation).

[ktmelody]

Originally Posted by Kiliki I think it depends on how badly the foot was broken. Sometimes a break in the foot is small and there really isn't anything they can do anyway, other than say, "yup, it broke. Here's a tylenol." DH broke his foot twice, and that was the result. So, unless it was a SEVERE break, like a car ran over it, or it was stomped on by a horse or there were bones sticking out or something, it's not always a huge deal to wait a bit (or even to not go in at all - depending on the situation).

Yeah. I agree.

My husband always does the ER duty. And waiting 3 hours after a minor injury like that is fine.

Here the ER doesnt even cast breaks. They splint it then you go 2 days later to the ortho for a cast if needed. My 12 month old broke her arm in december and the ortho said that they dont even typically cast breaks like hers anymore.

We have waited a few hours after injuries because sometimes it just isnt apparent that it is broken.

Now if the husband was just being a jerk then fine but waiting after an injury like that is not going to cause a major issue unless bones arw sticking out of the skin.

[HeatherlovesCDs]

Originally Posted by Kiliki I think it depends on how badly the foot was broken. Sometimes a break in the foot is small and there really isn't anything they can do anyway, other than say, "yup, it broke. Here's a tylenol." DH broke his foot twice, and that was the result. So, unless it was a SEVERE break, like a car ran over it, or it was stomped on by a horse or there were bones sticking out or something, it's not always a huge deal to wait a bit (or even to not go in at all - depending on the situation).

Yeah, agreed. I just didn't have the guts to say it. We probably wouldn't even go to the ER, but would call our regular Dr or go to urgent care and get an order for an x-ray. Guess we are odd.

[momgoddesswife]

Originally Posted by 3 ladybugs DH would if I asked him to but honestly in that situation I would go with the ill-er child. That is what I did in the NICU with 2 in there. Emily got most of my attention at first because she was more ill. Once Alexander started sliding backwards he got most of my attention... that is till the one day where I had a team of doctors and nurses working on both children at the same time... then I just cried! It doesn't surprise me about the NICU. Honestly my DH was a RARITY. Several babies didn't have anyone visit them much. A couple I knew were getting regular phone calls day and the parents just couldn't be there. Then there were several that only the mom would visit, or if the dad came, they would look at them for 2-5 minutes and spend the rest of the time in the hall or whatever. I spent 10-12 hours by my child's side. DH had to work but was there every night (bedside) for at least 3+ hours. This is with a 1.5 hour commute to the hospital for him from work. There were a few others like my DH but he was rare. I remember a lesbian couple that it took me a good month before I realized that they were not the same person! They lived a few blocks away and took turns being vigil over their daughter's bedside. Someone was there 22 hours a day (there were 2 one hour shift changes where you couldn't be there unless it was dire).

I understand the NICU thing, and the difficulty parents have for various and valid reasons with going. Our son was in a NICU 2.5+ hours away and we had 2 older kids at home who needed us also so we couldn't be there 24/7 then there were days when, I feel horrible saying it, but I just couldn't emotionally to go.

But if we hadn't gotten over those feelings we wouldn't have seen our son for the first almost 4 months of his life. I just can't imagine. My DH was there almost everyday, he was there when I couldn't be then on the days when I was staying in the city with the baby he would come in the evening and drive home that night when we had someone to watch the other two.

I just didn't expect that someone would be like this guy with their kids.

Funniest thing is he just recently had back surgery, last week, and my friend was by his side the whole time at the hospital and taking care of him after, yet he wouldn't do that for his own kids.

[mekat]

Well I have been divorced for several years but because I have a kid with special needs this issue came up. Ex wanted me to let him take ds alone to appointments but it went horribly. Ex scheduled surgery, not a surgical procedure but actual slice them and dice them surgery and he couldn't tell me the why, the where, the what, the when of the surgery; I mean nothing. I wound up having to call the nurse and have her read off ds's appointment notes to me on the phone. After that he was banned from taking ds alone to the hospital or medical appointments.

During the last bit of our marriage both DS and I were horribly sick. DS wound up inpatient and I couldn't be bedside because I was contagious. The ex was supposed to stay bedside with ds and claimed he did but I know he didn't I caught him in quite a few lies but was too sick to have a standoff with him. Him refusing to stay with our child was a huge red flag and was just one of many things that was the beginning of the end of our marriage. I will never tolerate this type of apathy from another man again. There is something seriously wrong when a father puts themselves above the health of a child. For me putting themselves before their child puts them out of the running of playing a father type role in my child's life.

[mama_to_DJM]

Mine isn't opposed to going, it just has always made more sense for me to go. Mainly because I know how to get places without getting lost! LOL

[mmmom]

Yes and he has. Our son fell and cut his chin open while they were camping. It required sedation and 6 stitched to his face.