Tearing & DTD?

[~Cricket~]

I think that's one of the reasons they suggest trying sex before your six week appointment - so you can tell your doctor then if there's any trouble. But some people just aren't ready then, and some doctors don't ask, and some people are just to shy to say YES IT REALLY HURT! They might also assume that that's just their new normal.

[mibarra]

We needed to use lubricant til things "loosened up", and try some different positions to adjust where the pressure was

[sandy_dandy]

I delivered via C-section, but I'm having discomfort at 4 1/2 months. My well woman exam is coming up so I'll ask my doctor if there is a hormonal issue. (DD is EBF.) Maybe I just need a cream or lube too.

[Ten]

Wow - you women are great. Thank you so much for everyone being so candid.

I'm told I healed up really well (by someone who didn't do the stitching) so at least I have that going in my favor... but I'm totally going to ask about that cream! And knowing that it'll get better the more we do is good to know, too. I was really hoping this wasn't going to be the new normal! You guys really saved my bottom!

[mhschool6]

I totally second what some of the other mamas have said! I had an episiotomy with DS1, and it just would not heal. I toughed it out, but man!!!! I agree that lube is a huuugggee help! But I will also say, that after the delivery of my second, which I refused an episiotomy, and did not tear , I never had any more problems. Now I have had 7 children , and have been fine!! My advice, use lube, have another baby, and try to go natural to avoid tearing!!! Hope this helps!

[Ten]

Originally Posted by mhschool6 try to go natural to avoid tearing!!!

I did go natural... she was just HUGE. I don't remember her head circumference, but she was 24" long at birth, and she was proportionate! Every guy friend I had took one look at her and said, "Wow she has a big head - are you okay?!"

[Carriebeth]

It's been a while since there was any activity on this, but I wanted to chime in just in case it helped someone. I had a third degree tear (doctor almost called it a fourth.) DS was also in the NICU so I was way more active after labor than the normal post pardum mom (walking to and from nicu), so I don't think that helped at all. Anyway, since I was a first timer, I didn't know it wasn't normal to have such terrible pain. Anyway, my OB did some tweaking at the 6 week appointment and told me to hold off on intercourse until 12 weeks. We held off, but it was still not possible..literally excruciating and DH couldn't even get inside without me screaming in pain. I was embarrassed and didn't say anything to my OB until my regular annual, which happened around 6ish months post pardum. She ended up giving me the estrogen cream and suggested getting a variety pack of tampons and to start with the smallest and when I was comfortable with that, to move up and so on. Did that, worked all the way up to super, but it was quite the jump from super to DH, and it was still excruciating pain.

The next step was to send me to Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy. Yes, they have PT for THAT! While it was humiliating to have someone massaging the INSIDE wall of my vagina, it really helped in making the really ropey scar more smooth. They also used ultrasound to help make the scar more pliable. Another thing they recommended, which was along the same lines as the tampon idea, were vaginal dialators (You can get them online so you can have them delivered right to your door), which are basically medical dildos...different sizes that can help you work up to things...and certainly larger than a tampon. I went twice a week for the inner massage / ultrasound and was supposed to use the dialators at home as my "homework."

At about 10-11 months post pardum, intercourse was tolerable, but certainly not free from pain. I'm at about 16 months post pardum and pregnant again (due in May), so obviously we have made it work, but it's still a little painful upon entry. I'm worried about delivering my current little bean, but this thread has me hopeful that it might actually help. Because of what I went through, I have the option of electing for a C-Section, but I'm just not sure...if this is how my body heals, major surgery won't exactly be much better, and I've certainly heard bad c-section stories as well.

[abunchoflemons]

yea from one to another it took a while not ripping & long before that with oldest where i ripped even longer. just slow healer i think..... for me....

[birdinhand]

Originally Posted by Carriebeth It's been a while since there was any activity on this, but I wanted to chime in just in case it helped someone. I had a third degree tear (doctor almost called it a fourth.) DS was also in the NICU so I was way more active after labor than the normal post pardum mom (walking to and from nicu), so I don't think that helped at all.

This was me with my first, too, except it was the Dark Ages of hospital care, and I was discharged on day 2 while baby had to stay for two weeks, so I had to go back and forth to the hospital every two hours to feed him...I hurt so bad!

He was born Sept 16 and we didn't try intercourse again until Thanksgiving, and even then I was pretty certain it felt too early. At my 6 week appointment I had more skin burned off with silver nitrate. Miserable! For about 6 months it wasn't the most comfortable, but come January I was with my sister while she gave birth ad her midwife eased the baby's head out with Astroglide; after thatm, I switched lube and things were a lot better.

I was afraid I would end up with a giant tear with my next baby. Although you could see the scar stretching from my vagina and it disappeared into my rectum -- I have it on video, lol. Because of that I told my midwife if it looked like I was going to tear, I wanted an episiotomy, but that was fear talking. I didn't know that an episiotomy could lend itself to the problem. I also worked hard to be in an upright pushing position, and not "purple pushing" but following my body's urges. I never experienced it that badly again, thankfully .