What happened to my kid? Vent

[kushie tushie]

I have no advice just . Were going through the same thing right now! DS will be 3 next months and seriously grates on my nerves! Some days I can barely stand to be around him .

I'm not enjoying this monster that has taken over my normally sweet boy....

I'm mobile.... sorry for the typos!

[carriek38]

Oi, thanks ladies...I'm glad you can see both the humor and frustration behind this. Now, the potty thing is a bit concerning, but partly b/c I feel like even if I ask the pedi, he'll dismiss us (he did re: food allergies--"She gets hives with strawberries? Don't feed her strawberries. No, I don't really put a lot of trust in allergy testing; you don't need it, but go ahead if you think you do.").

We're paranoid parents...In the last month, I've worried about whether she has diabetes, whether she had been sexually abused at DC (we worry at every DC placement & they've all been very safe), whether she as Asperger's, whether she has a new food sensitivity, & whether we'll make it until she's 4 without one of us (DP or myself) developing a drinking problem. I'm glad there are people to tell me that yes, I'm crazy, no, my child is not, & yes, this too shall pass

[Almacham]

You just described my own 3yo. Good luck. I have found that wine in the evening and coffee in the mornings get me get through.

[am_ryan21]

Originally Posted by carriek38 DD will be 3 in March. She's mostly normal, if a bit...um...we'll call it "spirited". But geez, for the last week, she's lucky that I can't leave her at the hospital under Safe Haven laws (JOKING!). This child PTed last August...but for the last week, she's had to go to DC in pull-ups. She had multiple accidents yesterday, enough so that I pulled out the PFs again, b/c I don't want to keep buying diapers! For about a minute, I had been worried about diabetes, but then I remembered that I'm a worrier & a bit of a hypochondriac (by proxy?). Really, though, DD has been using the toilet for months, but all of a sudden, she can't do it herself? She waits until she absolutely can't hold it anymore to tell me she needs to go? She piddles in her undies multiple times a day? WTH?! It's so frustrating! She actually peed on the bathroom floor 3x in the last two days! DC is busy, she doesn't nap well there, & I know she's tired, but she will.not.go.to.bed Every night, she gets back out of bed AT LEAST 8-10 times. I mean, it's cute, b/c a lot of it is, "You forgot your hugs" & "I need to tell you something...I love you." But it's also frantic screaming 2 minutes after being put down that she has to use the bathroom (& she then does nothing). Or that she needs a drink. Or that being able to see her ponytail holders on her dresser is a problem . I don't want to punish for what I think is some pretty normal, if a bit quirky, behavior...but man, Mama needs some downtime, b/c she so intense the rest of the time--and she needs to sleep, b/c she naps for maybe an hour & she's up before 7 every day. She sometimes drags bedtime+the time she lays in bed & talks to herself until 8:30 or a little later. And the food...OMGoodness, the food...this kid will eat nearly everything she gets served at DC (breakfast, lunch, & an afternoon snack), then will Hoover down everything in sight from the time she walks in the door until she goes to bed @ 7 or 7:30. Yes, she wants the junk-type, packaged stuff, but we try to balance the indulgences with real food...she just eats an incredible amount! One evening we got home at about 5; from then until bedtime she had two sandwiches, two servings of oranges, two servings of applesauce, a cheese stick, a hard boiled egg, a granola bar, and a banana. And she STILL insisted she was hungry. And she's big (39" & 36lbs), but she's not even really chubby. And in just the last couple of weeks, she's become so defiant . I know it's normal, but she doesn't listen to her DC teachers (she's the youngest in the preschool room & insists on playing with the "naughty" kids...they're not bad kids, but they're mischievous & at least one I suspect has some behavioral/emotional problems), she's gotten in trouble for pushing & hitting, & she will not listen to any kind of directives from me or DP. Most everything results in incoherent yelling & a wee beast growling/whining "I don't LIKE you!" Please, please tell me this regressive &/or challenging behavior is normal...that 3 really is harder than 2, as everyone warned me it would be. Is my Tiny Tyrant going through a phase? My gut says probably, but most of the other kids I've been around are either easy-going & never really went through this, or the kids are challenging even at older ages & never really grew out of it. I'm really trying to be supportive & caring with her, & sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...but it's also really frustrating & sometimes I lose my temper and yell. I made her go to her room last night for a couple of minutes (she has books & toys in there) to give me & DP a few minutes to cool down b/c we were both a bit tapped out. I don't think I can keep going at this rate for a year or more!

I think I have the male version of your daughter March birthday and all. We call him our grazer because he eats all the time. He also has started to become defiant and argue. I don't understand why everybody calls them the Terrible Twos. It looks like we are going to have our hands full with the terrible threes. Hopefully we both survive.

ETA: he does the same thing at bedtime. I asked my dh the other night how I could on to him for wanting more kisses and hugs because its so sweet.

[l_Kimmie_l]

Originally Posted by essential1892 I always kid to my husband that I need one of those beer hats with the straws filled with wine so that I can self medicate myself all day

I need one too!!

Originally Posted by Almacham You just described my own 3yo. Good luck. I have found that wine in the evening and coffee in the mornings get me get through.

Absolutely!!

[carriek38]

Originally Posted by danner There's a lot of content in that rant, but I can address the peeing, defiance and food. Utterly normal. My daughter is well into her 4s and frequently waits until the last minute. It's exasperating. I think the defiance is an annoying manifestation of her asserting independence. I often ask myself, "does this matter? If I let her do this, what's the worst case scenario? If this turns into an argument, who will win?" Of course the friction comes in when it DOES matter and I have to be the law and I have to win. And the eating. I love it actually, it's been cyclical and self-regulating with no problems whatsoever. She's probably having a growth spurt - the good kind. They are so active at this age. My daughter dances through the house - walking is for babies.

I know...I REALLY try to not do the power struggle thing...she's a stubborn kid & a power struggle never ends well. I lose my temper mostly over the over & over annoyances (the 45th time in 15 minutes that I bump DD while I'm doing & putting away dishes, when I've set her up w/ a show & a snack & told her she needs to stay in the living room b/c the kitchen is too small for multiple people). DD is much more effective at getting DP to bite on the power struggle...it's funny & frustrating to watch them escalate each other until they're both frazzled. I mostly get touched out at never having more than a 3inch bubble around me that counts as "my space" .

Originally Posted by syfitz 3 is definitely the crazy year with girls IMO (and then again @ 9). That all sounds normal to me. Pushing limits and learning how they can take control is high priority. I would tackle the sleep issue which should help with everything else. Ask the ped about melatonin. My ped suggested it for my ds and it changed his whole little life for the better.

Y'know, I had thought about melatonin a couple of times, even short-term to get her schedule back on track (she's always been a champ as far as sleep goes, right up until the most recent time change, which is exacerbated by the DC changes). I'm just so reluctant to "medicate" her...and I'd really have to see DP's thoughts on it. It's tough b/c I'm a terrible sleeper, have been since I was a little kid...difficulty falling asleep, light sleeper, etc., but DP sleeps like the dead. I've always been reluctant to medicate myself (though admittedly, melatonin would probably help), but for DP, difficulty sleeping is a myth, she doesn't really believe it. So I think DD is a little caught in the middle on that.

[fabulousmindy]

My three year old definitely has some of these symptoms, plus she gets weepy and whiny for no reason. The whining drives me bonkers!

[carriek38]

Oh, I forgot...I actually totally lost my temper for about 30 seconds yesterday...when DD bumped my end able & sloshed coffee onto the table, the couch, the floor, some papers, and some knitting. There was a lot of general yelling & one or two, "Are you kidding me?!?" directed at DD. I felt bad b/c DD cried & ran to DP...but I almost never yell like that (I'm loud in general, but I don't angry-yell much & especially not at DD). Apparently DD thinks I mean business when I do...

[syfitz]

Originally Posted by carriek38 Y'know, I had thought about melatonin a couple of times, even short-term to get her schedule back on track (she's always been a champ as far as sleep goes, right up until the most recent time change, which is exacerbated by the DC changes). I'm just so reluctant to "medicate" her...and I'd really have to see DP's thoughts on it. It's tough b/c I'm a terrible sleeper, have been since I was a little kid...difficulty falling asleep, light sleeper, etc., but DP sleeps like the dead. I've always been reluctant to medicate myself (though admittedly, melatonin would probably help), but for DP, difficulty sleeping is a myth, she doesn't really believe it. So I think DD is a little caught in the middle on that.

I have the same sleep issues, and use Melatonin myself.

Funny story. A few weeks ago ds came to me and very casually said "I don't need melatonin tonight because I just ate a banana."
"What?" I say, confused.
"Seriously, google it." He replies. (He's five, btw )
I google and find that bananas actually do contain small amounts of melatonin. Very small amounts, but he was asleep by the time I googled.
I have no idea where he got that little bit of information, but maybe it had a little placebo effect. Perhaps you could tell your daughter that bananas will make her sleepy, and they will.

[sojomisa]

Yeah, welcome to the third year. I always say the person who coined the phrase terrible two's never had a three year old.