What happened to my kid? Vent

[Hope4More]

Originally Posted by carriek38 Oi, thanks ladies...I'm glad you can see both the humor and frustration behind this. Now, the potty thing is a bit concerning, but partly b/c I feel like even if I ask the pedi, he'll dismiss us (he did re: food allergies--"She gets hives with strawberries? Don't feed her strawberries. No, I don't really put a lot of trust in allergy testing; you don't need it, but go ahead if you think you do."). We're paranoid parents...In the last month, I've worried about whether she has diabetes, whether she had been sexually abused at DC (we worry at every DC placement & they've all been very safe), whether she as Asperger's, whether she has a new food sensitivity, & whether we'll make it until she's 4 without one of us (DP or myself) developing a drinking problem. I'm glad there are people to tell me that yes, I'm crazy, no, my child is not, & yes, this too shall pass

Wait wait wait. These things are crazy? Shoot, my kid just turned two, I've thought all of these things, as well as if he has emotional issues (I hear 2-year olds are SUPPOSED to have tantrums?) and if DCP was mentally abusing my DS (she said he had to take off his shoes before he was allowed in the house). So if its crazy, I'm right there with you, particularly the drinking problem one. I've had three beers this week... That's more than I've ever had to deal.

Hang in there. We'll run away to Mexico together, the three of us, and leave the kids with my DH. We can pick them up from the fire station when we return

[Celeste]

Originally Posted by fabulousmindy My three year old definitely has some of these symptoms, plus she gets weepy and whiny for no reason. The whining drives me bonkers!

Oh yeah, the whining is like nails ona a chalkboard!!

Op, my 3 year old is having sleep issues to. She is exhausted at bed time, and will tell me that she is soooo tired. Then she will proceed to take 2 hours to actually fall sleep, after the whole bedtime routine. Last night I put her to bed at 7 (an hour earlier than normal), and it still took her til 8:45 to fall asleep, but at least it was earlier than it had been. Can you put your dd down earlier?

[nicolemariep]

Yep, just like everyone else has mentioned, welcome to the 3s. I'm not going to lie, the 4s are different here, but not necessarily better.

Originally Posted by syfitz I have the same sleep issues, and use Melatonin myself. Funny story. A few weeks ago ds came to me and very casually said "I don't need melatonin tonight because I just ate a banana." "What?" I say, confused. "Seriously, google it." He replies. (He's five, btw ) I google and find that bananas actually do contain small amounts of melatonin. Very small amounts, but he was asleep by the time I googled. I have no idea where he got that little bit of information, but maybe it had a little placebo effect. Perhaps you could tell your daughter that bananas will make her sleepy, and they will.

Seriously the best part of my morning. Thanks for that.

[carriek38]

Originally Posted by Hope4More Wait wait wait. These things are crazy? Shoot, my kid just turned two, I've thought all of these things, as well as if he has emotional issues (I hear 2-year olds are SUPPOSED to have tantrums?) and if DCP was mentally abusing my DS (she said he had to take off his shoes before he was allowed in the house). So if its crazy, I'm right there with you, particularly the drinking problem one. I've had three beers this week... That's more than I've ever had to deal. Hang in there. We'll run away to Mexico together, the three of us, and leave the kids with my DH. We can pick them up from the fire station when we return

I don't drink too much...usually a couple glasses of wine once a month during Crafty Saturday, but I keep a bottle in the fridge in case of emergencies

Sadly, I've been craving a smoke waaaaaay more than a drink

Originally Posted by Celeste Oh yeah, the whining is like nails ona a chalkboard!! Op, my 3 year old is having sleep issues to. She is exhausted at bed time, and will tell me that she is soooo tired. Then she will proceed to take 2 hours to actually fall sleep, after the whole bedtime routine. Last night I put her to bed at 7 (an hour earlier than normal), and it still took her til 8:45 to fall asleep, but at least it was earlier than it had been. Can you put your dd down earlier?

DP picks DD up from DC now, so it's been a bit earlier, but I had been picking her up & we'd get home around 5. We usually make a dinner just for her b/c she eats at 5:30 (and when I put my foot down about being able to pick her own foods, Ohhhh Myyyyyyy). Then we get a little play & TV time, maybe a bath, & we try to start bedtime around 7-7:15. I could do earlier, I guess, but 6:30 or 6:45 just seems so early, & like I don't really get to see her, KWIM? She was making me so crazy yesterday that getting ready for bed started at about 6:50, but I think I closed her door for the final time at 7:42.

And she woke me up to change her wet diaper at 3:32 in the morning, which is another charming new thing

Originally Posted by nicolemariep Yep, just like everyone else has mentioned, welcome to the 3s. I'm not going to lie, the 4s are different here, but not necessarily better. Seriously the best part of my morning. Thanks for that.

I'm giving you the evil eye right now

but you're right, the banana thing is funny!

[Nicolenutt]

and mama. I'm right there with you, we've finally put the bedtime "upsies" behind us, but omg, I wanted to run away from home. As for the incessant eating, when ds reached this stage I was and thought maybe he was dehydrated. I feel hungry when I'm actually thirsty, so now after either of them have eaten an almost ridiculous amount of food I make them finish a glass of water before I dole any more out. Oh, and dh has made sure that we always have fresh limes so that mama can make herself a well deserved margarita as a victory drink when the wee ones are a snoring

[ajane]

Oh, man mama...you and DP are going through a lot with her. I know I don't know her, but I can't imagine she is doing it out of "meanness" or wanting to not behave. And, I agree with you that I don't think she needs punishment, but maybe you can sit down and talk to her? What about get her a special treat, like an ice cream so she has to sit for a while. I know she is only 3, but I'm pretty sure she will understand when you talk to her. Try to find out what is going on from her view. Ask her to help you b/c you don't know what she is thinking/feeling and you would like to know. Try to find out the reason behind the actions. Little ones still have emotions/feelings just like us, but don't know or understand how to express it. Heck, some adults even have trouble with that. I think helping her to express her feelings will help. Finding a mutually acceptable way could be tricky.

As for the food, try to set limits. Depending on what time she gets come from DCP either let her have a snack and then dinner at set time and that is it. Or dinner then a snack a little later and then that is it. Let her know a few days beforehand that when she gets home from DCP she gets a quick snack and then will have dinner and then no more meals until the next day. Keep reminding her every day and even on the way home.

As for sleeping, she is probably overtired which stimulates her even more. What about trying a bedtime routine and letting her know in advance and then keep reminding her that it is p'j's, brush teeth, 2 books, snuggles, and then bed. Before you start the routine have her get her last drink, go potty, make sure everything is where she wants it to be in her room before going to bed.

Anyhow, those are a few ideas.........hopefully something will work out for you, DP, and her.

[carriek38]

Originally Posted by ajane Oh, man mama...you and DP are going through a lot with her. I know I don't know her, but I can't imagine she is doing it out of "meanness" or wanting to not behave. And, I agree with you that I don't think she needs punishment, but maybe you can sit down and talk to her? What about get her a special treat, like an ice cream so she has to sit for a while. I know she is only 3, but I'm pretty sure she will understand when you talk to her. Try to find out what is going on from her view. Ask her to help you b/c you don't know what she is thinking/feeling and you would like to know. Try to find out the reason behind the actions. Little ones still have emotions/feelings just like us, but don't know or understand how to express it. Heck, some adults even have trouble with that. I think helping her to express her feelings will help. Finding a mutually acceptable way could be tricky. As for the food, try to set limits. Depending on what time she gets come from DCP either let her have a snack and then dinner at set time and that is it. Or dinner then a snack a little later and then that is it. Let her know a few days beforehand that when she gets home from DCP she gets a quick snack and then will have dinner and then no more meals until the next day. Keep reminding her every day and even on the way home. As for sleeping, she is probably overtired which stimulates her even more. What about trying a bedtime routine and letting her know in advance and then keep reminding her that it is p'j's, brush teeth, 2 books, snuggles, and then bed. Before you start the routine have her get her last drink, go potty, make sure everything is where she wants it to be in her room before going to bed. Anyhow, those are a few ideas.........hopefully something will work out for you, DP, and her.

I really do appreciate the kindness behind this...but I have to admit I giggled a little as I read this . DD's not even in any activities yet (planning to try dance when she turns 3), but our schedule is pretty well set in stone during the week, & we keep the same wake, meal, & bedtimes on the weekends. She has a really predictable bedtime routine. And you're right; she is overtired. She will complain during the day & evening about being tired, but then say she's not ready for bet, not tired, etc. I've gotten to the point where I remind her that I understand that, but it's quiet time now & you need to stay quietly in your room even if you're not sleeping.

We have TONS of conversations with her, TONS of "help me understand..." things. I've been doing more cuddles while "I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now..." kinds of things. Even at 3, she has an amazing ability to change the subject. "Honey, can you help me understand? You were using the potty last week, but you're having a hard time this week. I just want to make sure you're feeling okay and that there's nothing wrong...it didn't look like you liked having wet pants...can you tell me what was going on?" To which she responds, "Mxxxxx has glow shoes. Her glow shoes are black. My glow shoes are white. Do you think Mxxxxx's baby sister has glow shoes? Why do I have glow shoes? Is it b/c my mamas love me?" And magically we're at, "Yes, babe, we love you. Can you talk to me about using the potty?" "No. I don't WANT to talk about the potty! I'm gonna peepee in my pants." Well okay, that went well Glad my graduate degree in counseling is being put to work

And yeah, I know she's not starving (obviously). DP is more of a grazer & it appears DD is, too--I'm just astounded at how very much she can eat I haven't set the rule ahead, like you suggested (though I think we'll try that), but even if I tell her, say, that she's not getting a snack b/c she didn't eat her broccoli, she'll still throw a fit when she asks & I tell her she can finish her broccoli if she's hungry. She will try to pull fruit off the counters, snack foods off the shelf (which she needs a stool for). I caught her trying to eat butter. We've been trying to talk to her about eating until you're not hungry, but not always needing to feel "full" (i.e. stuffed) & that's had some moderate success. It's a struggle more recently, since starting the DC center (though they get reasonable foods there), but it was better when DD was w/ her original sitter, where she would eat a big breakfast & then less & less for every meal or snack for the rest of the day...now she just does all her eating from 4-7pm. Though, notably, the weekends are different. She power loads in the morning (from about 7-10am) & eats a [more] reasonable lunch, snack, and dinner.

ETA: I definitely don't think there's meanness or malice behind this. DP's family complains quite a lot about her behavior (they only see her a few times a year) & I've been saying that the things that make me crazy at two or three (the stubbornness, the outspokenness, the propensity to do her own thing & not follow) are going to be the things I'm proudest of at 22 or 23. I just have to hope we both survive until then! It's clearly just an unholy conglomeration of personality and developmental tasks colliding.

[isabelsmummy]

Originally Posted by essential1892 Three year olds are evil .

Yup. Evil is a great word. But then they can be lovely. And 30 seconds later back to evil.

2 is a breeze. 3 is hell.

it will pass... eventually....

[okiemama]

Originally Posted by syfitz 3 is definitely the crazy year with girls IMO (and then again @ 9). That all sounds normal to me. Pushing limits and learning how they can take control is high priority. I would tackle the sleep issue which should help with everything else. Ask the ped about melatonin. My ped suggested it for my ds and it changed his whole little life for the better.

Great I have a 9 yo dd and dd2 will be 3 in February God help me

[ktmelody]

I would see the doc.

Hunger and wetting pants/toileting issues are a sign of diabetes.

Just to be sure. If its all clear then you just have a regular 3 year old. Lol.