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#31 |
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This is my first baby and I was hoping for a girl. I am trying not to be upset but I really never pictured myself with a son. I want only one child, maybe two, so I am upset. I love this boy but part of me wishes the u.s. is wrong and I have a girl. I feel terrible and I haven't shared how I feel with DH. I love the baby inside of me with all my heart I just hope I will be a good mother to him and make him feel special. I'm happy I'm not the only one who experienced disappointment even if I am the only one on this thread who is due with baby number one.
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#32 |
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Re: Gender Disappointment
I really wanted a girl, but as soon as I knew I was pregnant, I knew it was a boy (i was right!) and at the ultrasound, I was slightly disappointed because I hoped my intuition was wrong. I think i would have more disappointment if the same happened with #2, because after having a boy first, now I really want a girl!
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#33 |
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 703
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Re: Gender Disappointment
We both wanted a second boy but I suspected we were having a girl. At the ultrasound, my hunch was confirmed and DH looked like someone kicked him in the family jewels. It took him some time to get his head around it. It helped him to talk about exactly what he was worried about (in this case, having a teenage girl) as well as all the new things to look forward to (having a "Daddy's girl", scaring her first boyfriend, giving her away at her wedding). By the time she was born, he would have been disappointed had she been a boy. So I think that addressing the concerns rather than burying or ignoring them is helpful. It's not wrong to have these feelings of disappointment, especially if you've pictured a certain outcome for a long time.
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#34 |
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We just found out we Are having out third boy today and I felt a tinge of disappointment too. But it's helping to know in advance and talk through it. I am happy that we will bring more sweet guys into this world. I think it's good to express these feelings. And totally normal.
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#35 | |
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Currently MO; but wherever the Marines send us. SoCal at heart.
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So while your dealing with your disappointment now, and I've been there....you just never know... ![]()
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#36 |
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Re: Gender Disappointment
All I cared about was alive this pregnancy, and with 5 previous pregnancies as "boy" we were sort of in the mindset that they're always going to be boys, and he a boy (he's still cooking) and I'm very good with it.
However, I know my husband had to grieve a bit at not having a girl and that was hard. He agrees that alive is all that matters, but I think he'd have really liked to have a little girl. I am sad for him, even though I'm not sad for myself if that makes any sense? Sometimes I think our grief can also be part of knowing that our spouse wants a specific gender ![]()
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Sarah. Christian. Married to Jonathan. Proud Mama of 6 boys! Andrew (10), Luke(7) and James (2). My babies born into heaven ![]() |
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#37 |
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Re: Gender Disappointment
You are definatly not alone. This is one reason we chose not to find out the gender. After 2 boys in my heart i wanted a girl but figured we woudl get 3 boys. I just wanted to focus on a baby. Loving the baby. We ended up having a girl and I remember asking the Dr. if she was sure it was a girl LOL!!! I had made up my mind that it was a boy and I was fine with not haveing a girl. She is our last.
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#38 |
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Re: Gender Disappointment
I am keeping my secret hope of having a girl to myself because I know I will love this LO if it's another boy. With DS I was sure he was a girl and when he came out I wasn't disappointed at all.
We didn't find out last time or this time. I won't even let anyone say the gender at the birth I want to look when I am ready. That way I have a few minutes to bond with baby. Good luck mama!
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