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Old 01-31-2013, 07:23 AM   #1
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Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

Let's just say you take your two and a half year old child to a daycare home.

Your child is sweet, wonderful and just all around awesome. Everybody thinks so.

But, your provider is slowly raising concerns to you about his or her development. She mentions how he only plays with children exactly one year younger. He has absolutely zero language skills, and can't do a few of the physical milestones other kids his age can do. He can run a little, and he can climb the jungle gym, but that's all.

You say something to your pediatrician, and he says "Daycare providers don't understand child development". (which makes your provider angry)

So... pretend you have another appointment tomorrow with your child, and your provider asks you again to have him evaluated for at LEAST hearing. Would you be offended? Is the provider overstepping?

Also, This provider happens to have gotten a hold of the test given to kids of his age. (27 months old...and also the 30 month old test) But, out of over 100 questions on the 27 month test, he can only do MAYBE four of them, and only with a little bit of help. (hand gestures) "Put the toy on the table" would need a hand gesture, but on the test is says NOT to use hand gestures. So, even those he would not be able to pass.

He fits in this group perfectly. I'm not complaining about behavior, he's really wonderful here. I don't want to offend the mom. (there is no dad... but, there is a huge extended family, he's very adored at home...they are all very attentive)

Would you be offended, upset, pull your child, If your provider sent you home with a copy of this test? Would you ask your doctor again for an evaluation?

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Old 01-31-2013, 07:51 AM   #2
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

If I talked to my Dr, and then found out my provider was giving my child a test, yes, I would be upset.

From an outsiders point of view I can see how you are just trying to help the parent, but as the parent I would probably get defensive. I don't know that I would pull, but I would ask not to test my child.

At this point the mom has to decide she wants to push for more, if she asks you questions I would answer them truthfully and express your concern, but I don't think you can push her to do more unless she decides to on her own since you have already expressed concern.

Maybe wait a couple of months to see if he has any changes and then bring it up again at that point that you are noticing he is not progressing with his language skills as you would expect to see.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:52 AM   #3
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

If I talked to my Dr, and then found out my provider was giving my child a test, yes, I would be upset.

From an outsiders point of view I can see how you are just trying to help the parent, but as the parent I would probably get defensive. I don't know that I would pull, but I would ask not to test my child.

At this point the mom has to decide she wants to push for more, if she asks you questions I would answer them truthfully and express your concern, but I don't think you can push her to do more unless she decides to on her own since you have already expressed concern.

Maybe wait a couple of months to see if he has any changes and then bring it up again at that point that you are noticing he is not progressing with his language skills as you would expect to see.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:01 AM   #4
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

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If I talked to my Dr, and then found out my provider was giving my child a test, yes, I would be upset.
No. I read through the test. I am not licensed to administer the test. I would send it home with the mom to look at.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:20 AM   #5
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Yes I would be offended, possibly enough to switch providers even. I think I would be even more upset that you tried to give my child a test you are not licensed to give or educated about.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:22 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by escapethevillage

No. I read through the test. I am not licensed to administer the test. I would send it home with the mom to look at.
I thought you said you gave the child the test but had to alter it for the child?
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:30 AM   #7
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As a parent I would most definitely be offended. Yes even enough to change providers. My first question to the provider would be you spend the most time with him, why aren't you working on these things with him? That is the providers job, watch and teach the child. When I had my oldest child in an in home daycare they taught him words, shapes colors and even to recognize letters starting at 2. They would sing songs, have circle time ect. I would remove my children from a place that didn't give them some kind of education.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:31 AM   #8
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Sounds like she's saying that by reading through the test, she already knows what he's capable of doing vs a dr who would have to do it from step 1. She said if she was to do te table test, he would need a hand gesture based on her daily interaction with the child.

OP, personally, I would not be offended but I think a lot of parents are in denial of issues that need to be addressed sooner rather than later. My cousin has a child that definitely appears to be autistic to a mid level degree. Not aspergers. My aunt teaches severely special needs kids and has tried to talk to her about help for the child, but her and her DH are in total denial. It's really sad to see the problems and know there is help out there if they would admit there are issues.

So yeah, I would appreciate the person who spends the most time with my child giving this info to me, I would not be upset in the least even if you outright DID the test.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:36 AM   #9
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

I have a hard time believing that the pediatrician actually said that. Perhaps the mom picked up on something he or she said and misconstrued it as that. Do you think the mom is in denial or she just doesn't know? NO language skills at all? Is there a birth to three type program? Is she adverse to even calling for an evaluation? Does she have scheduling issues? Wonder if the eval could be done while at daycare?

Sorry, this does not answer your question! I, personally, would be grateful if you told me once! I would have gotten a new pediatrician if he truly did not acknowledge a concern on the lack of language front. I would have done research on my own on the internet. But, of course, I am not a stick-my-head-in-the-sand kind of person!
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:39 AM   #10
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

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I thought you said you gave the child the test but had to alter it for the child?

No. The test is in a folder. I would let the mom take it home and look at it. She could check off the boxes if she wanted, or just take it with her to the doctor. I meant that if I DID ask him to do these things "put the toy on the table" that I would have to use hand gestures. Which the test specifically says not to do.
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