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Old 01-28-2013, 08:17 PM   #11
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Re: daycare misgivings

I would get her out of there ASAP. If these are the things you are "seeing" then what are you not seeing?

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Old 01-28-2013, 08:20 PM   #12
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Re: daycare misgivings

the smoke thing alone would have me looking for alternative care.

the 'bad' thing would hurt my heart and seal the deal.

the poop thing, I wouldn't like, but I could possibly deal with a bit better than the 3rd hand smoke.
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:20 PM   #13
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Re: daycare misgivings

These things are all things I would pull the kids out for. But, not immediately. I'd look for someone else and give a two week's notice. They aren't reasons to yank her out without warning.

I know it's hard to find affordable care, but if you P.M me your location, and tell me what you are paying her, I might possibly be able to help you find someone wonderful. I belong to several daycare message boards, and all the ladies on these boards are really great. I know for sure none of these friends smokes. All are extremely dedicated to this job.


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I suppose my question is - would these concerns compel you to remove your child from the daycare, even if you'd have to quit your job/degree in order to manage it? Or do we stick it out for a couple of months until we find a better solution, on the grounds that I am not worried that my daughter will suffer major and irreparable harm?
Oh...and, NO... I would not give up a career or degree over these issues. I'd still take the time to find something that works better.
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:23 PM   #14
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Re: daycare misgivings

Just the smoke thing would probably have me looking. Do you or your husband have any other friends with children looking for care that live right near you? You could possibly share a nanny with them. That can be somewhat affordable.
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:32 PM   #15
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Re: daycare misgivings

If my child smelled like cigarette smoke I'd report the provider to whomever licenses her ASAP. I'm not aware of any place that allows a provider to take smoke breaks and leave the children unattended. The bad thing could have been from the other children (my DD says, "Look I not bad anymore!" And we NEVER tell her she's bad. She also doesn't attend any childcare). The diaper rash could be from her not changing often enough and I would speak with her about that.
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:45 PM   #16
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I would pull her out in a second for the smoke. That is a definite deal breaker for me regardless of sacrifices or hardships that it would cause. I hate cigarette smoke and won't tolerate it in any form around my children.

The other 2 issues aren't as severe for me. The diaper rash would bug me and I would talk to the provider about it. I know that providers have several kids in their care and can understand how a diaper wouldn't be changed immediately. If it was severe then I would probably pull her out for it. I would casually bring the bad thing up to the provider. She could have heard the word anywhere and it could have been something that just stuck with her.

I really like a pp's idea about finding a teenage girl to be a mommys helper after school! Good luck with the situation!
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:48 PM   #17
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Re: daycare misgivings

Without reading other responses first, absolutely none of this is sitting right with me. Please, please remove her from this person's care immediately.
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Old 01-28-2013, 09:14 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Ebeuchat
I would pull her out of that daycare no matter consequence. All of those things listed would be dealbreakers for me.
Me too :-(
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Old 01-28-2013, 09:27 PM   #19
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Re: daycare misgivings

WTH! Even dipes on FSOT go with a smoke-free or not label!

Look at it this way.

If your DCP doesnt care enough about her own health to the extent that smoking is an uncontrollable urge, then how much does she care for kids she has no connections to?

She probably leaves them unattended for 2mins to go outside for a smoke but when the kids are off for the day, she'll really be smoking INSIDE the house...which is probably why your LO comes back smelling so bad. My uncle smokes ONLY outside. He cuddles my boys..and they dont smell like smoke after that.

I cant believe a smoker is even allowed to run a daycare. Lets face it......nobody advocates smoking. Get your dd to say 'bad' when the dcp gets back in after the smoke...I know you are probably getting her out of it soon.

Have you talked to your dh's boss about the smoke reek?
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Old 01-28-2013, 09:32 PM   #20
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In terms of the smoking, it *might* not be as bad as you think. My dad smokes, but he does not smoke in anyone's home, nor does he smoke when my son is outside playing with him. Still, the smoke sticks to his clothes. Since my son LOVES to be held by his poppy, his clothes always smell later-whether it was a two-hour visit or an overnight stay. It's weird, because my parents' home doesn't smell of smoke at all.

I still think you are uncomfortable with the situation and should begin looking for a new caregiver. I wouldn't quit my degree, though. Maybe your husband can casually talk to his boss about their experience with the DCP?
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