daycare misgivings

[GreyMum]

Haven't read all of the responses, but any chance you can have a "mother's helper" come to your house so that you can work? An hour, twice a day, is a longish drive for her too. My daughter would totally fall asleep on the way back home, which would mess us up in the evening for sleep. All of the issues you mentioned would be problems for me, and I would pull her.

[joyous]

I'm sorry for the situation you're in. It's definitely tough. But like others have said, smoking would be a definite deal breaker for me. The other things, like the rash and the "bad" would just make me more sure in my decision.

I think the other ladies have offered some good solutions. I like the idea of having someone care for her in your home while you're working, if you can get work done that way. Or maybe somewhere closer to home where you can do drop-off/pick-up. You can check sites like Sitter City, or even Craig's list. Do any of the other students in your program have children? Maybe you can trade child care

[thoennes6]

The smoking and rash would be a deal breaker for me. I don't want my kids around someone that is smoking. My dcp has 6 kids with her during the day and my dd has never come home with diaper rash. If your child is sitting in a wet or dirty diaper long enough that she comes home with a rash I would be unhappy. I can see it happening once or twice but not repeatedly.

[Palooka]

[Vivhop98]

The smoke would be a deal breaker for me. Who watches the kids while she smokes outside. Leaving a kid inside during that time is very irresponsible. When my dd was younger, I wouldn't leave her alone for more than a minute. She would turn the bath on and jump in.

[Mom2Connor]

Those would be total deal breakers for me.

Even smoking outside, smokers stink! Then she interacts with your kids, yuck.

[JennTheMomma]

It's not even legal to smoke to be a licensed daycare provider within the association where I live. So if someone was a smoker, that would be a deal breaker. Even if they never smoke around the kids, if my kid smells like smoke they are out of there. Also a rash every time they come home from daycare? Sounds fishy and that is also not ok. I would not give up pursuing a degree, but I would certainly find different arrangments ASAP. Good luck!

[jam's mum]

Thanks everybody for your replies. I was leaning towards pulling her out of the daycare, and my husband was resistant, but after showing him this thread I think he might now be on board.

I'm looking into a nanny share, and if that isn't feasible, I'll look for a mother's help type arrangement -- that hadn't occurred to me before!

Thanks again, ladies!

[NotLad]

How do you find a nanny share?! I would kill for a situation like that.

[danner]

Any one of those things would make my head spin with sadness and make me wonder where to turn and what to do. I hope you figure it out. I honestly see them all being different but equal. I'd be trying to sort out a new situation, but I wouldn't pull her tomorrow, I'd just make sure that the new situation was sound and predictable.