daycare providers -- how do you do it?

[happysmileylady]

When I have watched nieces and nephews, anything over 25 hrs a week I requested payment for. It was substantially less than what I would charge someone who wasn't family like by half. But I did require payment.

[Shimpie]

My sister cared for my DD starting at 5 months for 32 hours a week. I paid her $30 a day for a full year. She initially refused the money, but I'm sure she appreciated it after a few months of a crazy hectic schedule. At the time she had her own 3 year old in part-time preschool and a 3 month old. Sis also knew her limits. She refused to watch DD any more than 4 days a week so she could have one day off to get Dr. appts and errands done.

Like all the PP's sis would babywear or push the babies around in a stroller so she could keep up with her 3 year old. She had a routine where they would go to the park nearly everyday. I couldn't afford to buy another carseat for sis, but I would take my carseat out of my car every day and install it in her car. I wanted to make sure sis wasn't grounded at home, that she could still run her errands or drive in an emergency. Also, during the first few months while everyone was getting a routine down, I would often run errands for my sis. I picked up her unexpected grocery needs. I picked up take-out lunch or dinner. It was WAY easier for me to run errands with no children in tow. On weekends or my Friday off, I made sure sis could get some down time by watching her kids for a few hours. Basically, I felt she was doing me an enormous favor for cheap and I didn't want to be a greater burden than necessary.

[keysersoze]

Thank you for your thoughts. We do have a very regular, and dependable rhythm, though it is a bit in flux as I figure out how to integrate the nephew into our daily rhythm. We're a Waldorf family, so rhythm is a big constant for us. I do wear him a lot of the days, which absolutely does help. I guess I would say what I need to adjust to, mentally, is how caring for a kid who's not my kid (esp. as we're smack in the middle of fertility treatments) is fundamentally different for me, even though he is family. Logistically, the hardest part of the day is the getting the nephew to sleep piece --today, I've worn him him to near comatose, and then swaddled and made sure he's out, and that has made a huge difference.

As to compensation, you're all right, of course. I will figure out a way to bring it up with my brother.

[doodah]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage Well, I don't do it for free. That would be a lot harder to give up 10 hours a day for free. BUT, I have a complete set up. I have a huge room dedicated to daycare, with big climbers, and tumbling mats etc. Then, I drag tables, art supplies, toys and more tumbling mats into the family room and kitchen, so the bigger kids have tons to do if i'm super busy. Then, (and I swear, this is the only reason I'll take infants) I use baby carriers. I have slings, mei tais, Buckle ties, wraps.... and if I did not have those things, I wouldn't do it. I've learned over time that Dr Brown's bottles are the spawn of Satan. I have never met so many babies with feeding problems until the Dr Brown's came out...now it takes forever to feed a baby, they are not relaxing while they eat, and it ends up being a stressful time. So, I will no longer accept an infant with the Dr Brown Bottles. People think they are great because it's the new popular thing. I also put the infant down to sleep in a dark quiet room. Sleep begets sleep. If the child is not getting enough sleep, he or she will have more trouble sleeping all the time. They don't just become exhausted and sleep for four hours. They need to feel rested, fed, cared for, attached etc. When all of his or her needs are met the baby will start hanging out in a baby chair and watching all the fun. (but, they are still very hands on no matter what)

agree with ALL of this, including the hatred of Dr Brown bottles LOL I dont wear daycare babies on a regular basis but I do have that option here. I also insist on a routine for baby with regular sleep. Up to about 4 months old, they should be sleeping a good part of the day anyway. OP, what is going on that you are having to do so much for this baby? For instance, I have my own 2 month here as a part of my daycare and he sleeps 6 or 7 hours of the 10 hour daycare day. He's really no trouble and that is the case with all the infants I care for, bio or not. at 4 or 6 months, they transition to two long naps a day, 2 to 3 hours each and again, its not a huge deal to have them in care. Once you get going with a routine and good sleep habits, that will make all the difference. I never watch kids for free though, not for family either.

[doodah]

Originally Posted by Shimpie My sister cared for my DD starting at 5 months for 32 hours a week. I paid her $30 a day for a full year. She initially refused the money, but I'm sure she appreciated it after a few months of a crazy hectic schedule. At the time she had her own 3 year old in part-time preschool and a 3 month old. Sis also knew her limits. She refused to watch DD any more than 4 days a week so she could have one day off to get Dr. appts and errands done. Like all the PP's sis would babywear or push the babies around in a stroller so she could keep up with her 3 year old. She had a routine where they would go to the park nearly everyday. I couldn't afford to buy another carseat for sis, but I would take my carseat out of my car every day and install it in her car. I wanted to make sure sis wasn't grounded at home, that she could still run her errands or drive in an emergency. Also, during the first few months while everyone was getting a routine down, I would often run errands for my sis. I picked up her unexpected grocery needs. I picked up take-out lunch or dinner. It was WAY easier for me to run errands with no children in tow. On weekends or my Friday off, I made sure sis could get some down time by watching her kids for a few hours. Basically, I felt she was doing me an enormous favor for cheap and I didn't want to be a greater burden than necessary.

you are the best sister ever! kudos for showing true appreciation for anothers hard work. and how fantastic for your baby to spend time with family

[madebymommy]

Man, I'm 2 days in and I'm burnt out! Lol.

I started watching 2 kids yesterday... The youngest is 13 months old and has NEVER been watched by someone out of their home. He screamed 80% of the time he was here. And THEN, the dad had to go to the ER because he injured himself, so we were asked to take the kids overnight! They are friends, so I agreed, but it was HORRIBLE. The baby cried all night long, and only my DH could console him because he is used to being with his sad (SAHD). I had the kids for 24 hours... And got paid $60. Never again! They are supposed to come tomorrow 10-4 and I'm truly dreading it

[BSWmama]

I don't wear my 4 month old much, nor is he a great sleeper during the day (or night), but he is usually a fairly chill baby who loves watching his brother play. Mostly, he is having to adjust to the schedule of my two year old, not the other way around. I don't feel like I can take him into a dark quiet room for an extended period of time to get him to sleep unless the two year old is napping. So, if we are in in the living room with the train tracks, he is there with us - either I'm holding him or he's just laying around on the floor watching us. If the two year old wants to walk around the house pretending we are firefighters, I carry the baby around. I guess what I am saying is that I still spend more time playing with the toddler, and I don't worry a lot about "playing" with the baby except to offer him a teacup when we're having a tea party and talk to him a lot.

I'm with the others on the payment thing. Unless your brother is in dire financial circumstances, they should be paying. I'd probably use some of the payment to get a cleaning person every other week, because it is not realistic for you to get a lot of real cleaning done (or organizing/decluttering!) in addition to caring for 3 kids, a baby, and cooking.

[doodah]

I think something else to consider is that you wont have the same bond with this baby, it wont be the same as raising your own kids. The things that you patiently tolerated with your own babies are supremely annoying with other peoples kids LOL that is why it is work, hard work, to watch other peoples kids. you should be compensated for it. if babies were so wonderful and easy, why is there literally no one that offers to do it for free? 10 hour days is a full time job so really, now is the time to talk about some payment. if you take baby till they go to school, think about all the hours of work you would do for one child over the years. It makes sense when you are the parent, its just exhausting when you are not. it is a huge sacrifice for your own family and your own kids so just think carefully about what you can and cant do long term.

[drabekgirl]

U are a saint watching the baby for that many hours a day for free. I worked only 10 hours a week and I paid my sitters while I was working. Even now that they are 8&9 I still pay my babysitters when I'm working.