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Old 01-29-2013, 02:41 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by carriek38
DD humped herself to sleep for the longest time
This strikes me as so funny. Like smart funny. My daughter who is 4 flat out taps her clitoris, ha. We do what everyone else does; invite her to take her business to her bed.

I know the OP got her question answered a million times over, so I won't answer the op.

But good for you op, for asking, and don't get put off by over zealous or aggressive advice givers. They mostly don't realize how they come across. I've been guilty of this myself.

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Old 01-29-2013, 04:12 PM   #32
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Re: 2yo DD Touching Lady Parts. .

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Originally Posted by Kiliki View Post
I just explain that private parts are not for playing with, they are for peeing with. And pee is gross. So let's not put our hands on our private parts, or put our private parts on other things. And that's pretty much EXACTLY what I say about it.

At the same time, this goes hand-in-hand with teaching good/proper hygiene, and encouraging open communication about body parts. My 6 y/o knows not to play with her private parts, but she also knows that if she has a question about them, I am here to answer them for her.

Naked time (except for babies) is reserved for bathroom breaks, changing your clothes, and bathing. Otherwise, I encourage them to be dressed and covered, even at home.

It doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't make it one. I don't punish for exploratory touching in babies. It's silly. But I do redirect, distract, and say "No - our private parts are for going potty, and they have pee pee on them..." etc.

I have 3 kids and so far none of them have had trouble keeping their hands off their private areas. I think just communicating with them can help a lot. But it's a delicate balance between - "Your vagina is DIRTY" and "Let's not touch ourselves that way please."

...as they get more vocal, it gets more complicated... lol.
I find this sad. Privates are not only for going potty, and they do not have pee on them once you wipe after going potty. Why teach kids that they cannot explore their bodies? Exploratory touching should not be punished at ANY age, as long as appropriate social boundaries, like not doing it in public, are taught.



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Originally Posted by Amjohnstone32 View Post
Thank you and to everyone who didn't make me feel like a big pile of poo for asking and explaining perfectly legit concern. I truly appreciate the advice!
I didn't see anyone attack you. Your OP post was quite different than your edited post. People who DO teach "ladies don't do that," "we don't touch ourselves," or "private parts are dirty" are doing their kids a great disservice and, in my opinion, harming their kids. Frankly, I applaud the ladies of diaper swappers for trying to tell someone so who appeared to be forcing that attitude on a 2 year old in a polite, frank manner when asked what to do.

Glad you don't do that, and yes, repeat that touching yourself is ok in private each time she does it in public.
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Old 01-29-2013, 04:22 PM   #33
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Re: 2yo DD Touching Lady Parts. .

I don't think anyone meant to attack you, OP. I surely didn't. I totally know how it feels. DS is 3 1/2 , NEVER wears pants (won't keep them on) and is constantly playing with his penis. Some days I just want to tell him to put it away
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Old 01-29-2013, 04:50 PM   #34
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Re: 2yo DD Touching Lady Parts. .

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Originally Posted by Ms.Kaun View Post
It is normal and I don't tell my children no either. I say to my dd who still gets caught doing it (at the worst times) to please take her hands out of her pants and go to her room for personal time if she wants to do that. I pretty much told her that those are her special parts and everyone has them but they are for you to touch only unless mommy or daddy need to help you clean yourself. No one else is suppose to touch you there and to tell a me right away if anyone ever does or tries to because it is so special. I told her if she feels like she wants to touch it she has to go in her room alone for alone time. My dd is 6 though.
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Old 01-29-2013, 05:44 PM   #35
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Re: 2yo DD Touching Lady Parts. .

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Originally Posted by Kiliki View Post
I just explain that private parts are not for playing with, they are for peeing with. And pee is gross. So let's not put our hands on our private parts, or put our private parts on other things. And that's pretty much EXACTLY what I say about it.

At the same time, this goes hand-in-hand with teaching good/proper hygiene, and encouraging open communication about body parts. My 6 y/o knows not to play with her private parts, but she also knows that if she has a question about them, I am here to answer them for her.

Naked time (except for babies) is reserved for bathroom breaks, changing your clothes, and bathing. Otherwise, I encourage them to be dressed and covered, even at home.

It doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't make it one. I don't punish for exploratory touching in babies. It's silly. But I do redirect, distract, and say "No - our private parts are for going potty, and they have pee pee on them..." etc.

I have 3 kids and so far none of them have had trouble keeping their hands off their private areas. I think just communicating with them can help a lot. But it's a delicate balance between - "Your vagina is DIRTY" and "Let's not touch ourselves that way please."

...as they get more vocal, it gets more complicated... lol.
I understand everyone has different beliefs, but how do you expect your children to have a healthy and fulfilling sex life if they can't ever touch themselves? Our lady bits do not have pee on them if we wash correctly. I made the mistake of going overboard with the no touching issue with my oldest (also with modesty) and now she is eleven and scared to death about her body. I am having an extremely difficult time reversing it and I'm scared that she will end up frigid and alone. Seriously. So I am not about to make that mistake with the my youngest. I encourage her to be open and explore her body, to learn her body parts correct names, Etc. I am having a much easier time with her. My middle dd hopefully I'll manage to reverse the damage so far. I have learned a lot through the years and the above is what I used to do and I now find to be sad.
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Old 01-29-2013, 07:32 PM   #36
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d[/QUOTE]I didn't see anyone attack you. Your OP post was quite different than your edited post. People who DO teach "ladies don't do that," "we don't touch ourselves," or "private parts are dirty" are doing their kids a great disservice and, in my opinion, harming their kids. Frankly, I applaud the ladies of diaper swappers for trying to tell someone so who appeared to be forcing that attitude on a 2 year old in a polite, frank manner when asked what to do.

Glad you don't do that, and yes, repeat that touching yourself is ok in private each time she does it in public.[/QUOTE]

Honestly, I did feel it. But I suppose I have to blame myself, for not properly articulating my first and original post, It's hard to do that sometimes when you have two little ones running around! But nonetheless a question is a question. I would never force something on my child, unless it honestly put them in danger. I never meant for this thread to start arguments, but I think it's good to know what truly is healthy when it comes to little ones doing things like this. I as well am so thankful that if my first post truly was meant to be what was said, That all of these women to stand up for the sake of a young child, whether it is their own or not. But sadly, in some cases you can take the horse to the water but you can't make it drink. Not talking about the children, but the mothers. So I guess the ending outcome is that everyone would learn a lesson from this thread entirely.
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Old 01-29-2013, 07:33 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by DalesWidda

I understand everyone has different beliefs, but how do you expect your children to have a healthy and fulfilling sex life if they can't ever touch themselves? Our lady bits do not have pee on them if we wash correctly. I made the mistake of going overboard with the no touching issue with my oldest (also with modesty) and now she is eleven and scared to death about her body. I am having an extremely difficult time reversing it and I'm scared that she will end up frigid and alone. Seriously. So I am not about to make that mistake with the my youngest. I encourage her to be open and explore her body, to learn her body parts correct names, Etc. I am having a much easier time with her. My middle dd hopefully I'll manage to reverse the damage so far. I have learned a lot through the years and the above is what I used to do and I now find to be sad.
This, wow, Hoping that your little lady comes back around, you sound like a wise woman, I am sure she will. Thank you for being so honest.
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Old 01-29-2013, 08:25 PM   #38
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Old 01-29-2013, 08:27 PM   #39
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I really don't think anyone meant to attack you, mama. I think a lot of us know someone or were effected by parents teaching us that our bodies were dirty or bad... or what have you. As modern women we see the harm in this and just want little girls to be given the freedom to know their bodies without shame.....that's all.

Sorry you felt attacked

I'm mobile.... sorry for the typos!
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Old 01-29-2013, 08:28 PM   #40
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This, wow, Hoping that your little lady comes back around, you sound like a wise woman, I am sure she will. Thank you for being so honest.
I hope I didn't say anything offensive. I didn't know how to address it either. I feel bad for my oldest. Its very hard to talk to her.I hope I can change that
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