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Old 01-30-2013, 11:07 AM   #21
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Re: The involved dads...

Well I'm not going to complain about my DH b/c it could be worse but I emailed him that blog post

I wish I didn't have to ask him to spend time with the boys, and I wish he could understand that letting them watch a bunch of tv or play video games "excessively" (he and I disagree on what's excessive) isn't doing them any favors.

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Old 01-30-2013, 11:26 AM   #22
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Re: The involved dads...

I think being a good parent doesn't come easily or naturally for everyone. Fathers especially... and especially if the child is the result of a pregnancy that the mother participated in (i.e., not through adoption or surrogacy). I certainly felt a connection to our children while I was pregnant, and I think our hormones and instincts play into how we relate to and care for our children.

My husband is a wonderful father, but it has taken him some time to really get into his role as a dad.

That said, I also don't think men should be coddled or that parenting is just the mother's job. Men need to be pushed to be good dads, and it should be EXPECTED of them. They can make a conscious decision to be proactive, to do things with their kids, to be a good role model, etc. Loving kids is not enough, you need to do more than that. They need to feel it, they need time with their fathers, they need them to be a part of their lives.

I cannot stand it when someone refers to dads "babysitting." My husband agrees, his time with the kids is PARENTING. And now he is the dad out there that takes his kid places and rocks the baby, even though it took him some time to grow into this role. I had to push him, but he knew he needed to step up.

I think we should celebrate good parents in general, but we should also expect both parents to try hard and love hard and do the best they can. And stop expecting the mothers to do it all, and to judge them more harshly, and to stop using deadbeat dads as the standard to compare other fathers to.
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Old 01-30-2013, 11:29 AM   #23
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I cannot stand it when someone refers to dads "babysitting." My husband agrees, his time with the kids is PARENTING.
Ugh! That bothers me everytime I hear it!
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Old 01-30-2013, 11:52 AM   #24
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My DH is very helpful with the kids, but it is frustrating that he never seems to want to do stuff with them.

He would never think to take them to the store, or out for a walk, or to play outside. I always have to suggest it, and then he takes so long getting ready that he ends up not doing it because its mealtime or mealtime or something.
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Old 01-30-2013, 02:21 PM   #25
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Re: The involved dads...

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Originally Posted by mibarra View Post
He actually says in his article he thinks we should continue to appreciate these things dad's do. I don't think the compliments are the point at all. I think the point was he felt that society should start expecting "fathering" from father's. Basically he is disappointed in the "low bar" set for dad's and thinks we need to work on changing that.
I agree. It did kind of raise my blood pressure a bit thinking about his point. I don't know why the bar is set so low. I think it's terribly sad.
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Old 01-30-2013, 06:20 PM   #26
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Re: The involved dads...

Quote:
Originally Posted by wordbox View Post
I think being a good parent doesn't come easily or naturally for everyone. Fathers especially... and especially if the child is the result of a pregnancy that the mother participated in (i.e., not through adoption or surrogacy). I certainly felt a connection to our children while I was pregnant, and I think our hormones and instincts play into how we relate to and care for our children.

My husband is a wonderful father, but it has taken him some time to really get into his role as a dad.

That said, I also don't think men should be coddled or that parenting is just the mother's job. Men need to be pushed to be good dads, and it should be EXPECTED of them. They can make a conscious decision to be proactive, to do things with their kids, to be a good role model, etc. Loving kids is not enough, you need to do more than that. They need to feel it, they need time with their fathers, they need them to be a part of their lives.

I cannot stand it when someone refers to dads "babysitting." My husband agrees, his time with the kids is PARENTING. And now he is the dad out there that takes his kid places and rocks the baby, even though it took him some time to grow into this role. I had to push him, but he knew he needed to step up.

I think we should celebrate good parents in general, but we should also expect both parents to try hard and love hard and do the best they can. And stop expecting the mothers to do it all, and to judge them more harshly, and to stop using deadbeat dads as the standard to compare other fathers to.
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Old 01-30-2013, 07:34 PM   #27
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Re: The involved dads...

My husband is awesome. Right now, he's taking a month of family leave to care for our 3-month-old while I'm back at work. He's great at taking care of the house, prepping dinner, and caring for a new baby. Those that know us are not at all surprised; that's just the kind of guy he is. I'll have to ask if he's gotten any notable comments from strangers when they're out in public.
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