Closed Thread Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-31-2013, 08:30 AM   #31
Tris's Avatar
Tris
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,535
My Mood:
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiliki View Post
My mom is also like this.

Anytime I'n nursing a baby and they have ANY issue - sleeping trouble, stuffy nose, gas - she says "Well, it's probably time to put them on some formula!"

.... no

I'm very proud of the fact that 2 of my 3 kids never had a drop of formula, one never even drank from a bottle at all. straight from boob to sippy.

I think older people have a tough time with it.

...y part, I think that's a little weird. I never connected my boobs to anything sexual. But that's just me, I guess. :dunno:
Apparently your H is a butt man then? do you not live in the US? I've never heard of anyone try to argue breasts aren't extremely sexualized.


And OP, it does have a judgey tone. Simply not wanting to is reason enough to not try. There isn't much more to it than that.

Advertisement

__________________
J- sahm to Z~12.07, A~4.09 and J~ 8.13
Tris is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 08:30 AM   #32
happysmileylady
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,715
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
...as far as the sexuality part, I think that's a little weird. I never connected my boobs to anything sexual. But that's just me, I guess
Really? You have never been aroused by any "action" around the breasts? I would say that is the exception, it's pretty typical for women to be aroused by that.
__________________
Kim-married to Dan
Mama to Caiti (17), Rae Rae (4), Dani Lee(2), and CJ, born 10/12/12.
Stuff From Kim's Kloset That Special Moment Photography Also come check out Swagbucks with me!
happysmileylady is online now  
Old 01-31-2013, 08:31 AM   #33
badmisterkitty's Avatar
badmisterkitty
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,649
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I will not be back to "defend" myself, so flame away. I refuse to take part in another mommy war because topics like this are divisive and I believe we should build one another up, not tear each other down over our choices. But I do want to share my story.

With my 3rd child I chose not to breastfeed in advance, more or less. I wasn't sure if i wanted to do it in the first place, but after experiencing the joy of natural childbirth (not!), the last thing I wanted to do was navigate through a breast feeding adventure right at that moment. He was born hungry and I was mentally, emotionally, and physically tapped out.

I actually quit early with my 2 older ones, too. I have large breasts. It was awkward and I couldn't get a proper latch, so I'd just sit and cry through every single feeding and later tried to find ways to put off feedings because I loathed them so much. I was self conscious and didn't even want to breast feed in front of my husband, let alone lactation specialist I didn't know. It was my own personal hangup. Everyone has them and breastfeeding ultimately ended up being mine.

I pumped for a bit with my first, maybe a month or so before supply dwindled. I just got too busy with my second to even get the pump out. And by the time the 3rd came along the pump was long gone.

I wish I had liked it better. I wish it was some inborn maternal instinct to have the desire and fortitude to get through those first few days/ weeks. When I quit pumping, I cried a lot. When I quit just a few days in with my 2nd, I cried a lot. I chose to let "breast is best" affect me. I knew better with my 3rd. Everything was going to be alright.

But here's the thing - I don't love my babies any less than a breast feeding mom. My choice did not make me less of a mom. I think it's awesome when a mom can breastfeed and I love it when I see one out in public. But I will not allow ANYONE to make me feel bad for my choice. It was my choice and everyone else should mind their own business.

I understand the benefits of breastfeeding all too well. I believe them to be true also, but I also believe in genetics and promoting health and wellness at home. Life is a crapshoot. I believe the health benefits of breast feeding can be easily negated by a lot of other lifestyle and environmental factors. I've seen sickly breastfed babies and healthy formula fed babies.

Like I said before, I'm not coming back to defend myself. This is my story and my choice to not breastfeed does not affect anyone else in the slightest.

Makinghome - you are new poster here. Perhaps you did not know a topic like this would stir up a lot of dust. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but perhaps something more light-hearted with less judgmental undertones should be considered for your next post.
__________________
Amy ~ Everything in moderation, WOH, glass half full, not committed to any labels, try, try again mama to 3! H 11/07 and M 8/10 and B 8/12

Last edited by badmisterkitty; 01-31-2013 at 08:47 AM.
badmisterkitty is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 08:32 AM   #34
JustSomeChickVee
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,662
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I think the first step is to provide support to mothers and babies, beginning in pregnancy.

My son never latched. I saw 3 LCs, tried the nipple shield, different positions, etc. I pumped for almost 4 months, took fenugreek and thistle, eventually started taking domperidone. and then got chronic mastitis. I was put on all kinds of antibiotics, it just kept coming back. and every time it happened, my supply would get lower and lower. It was SO painful. Then I attempted relactation twice. and failed. and when he was 9 months old I discovered that he had an undiagnosed upper lip tie. I wanted to kick the asses of the IBCLCs I saw who didn't tell me that. Anyway, I guess I'm biased and because I went through all that, I have to wonder why someone in good health with no medical or physical issues wouldn't at least try for a day? at least give colostrum. that alone is such a wonderful thing.

I obviously ended up formula feeding. But i have huge issues with commercial formula. My first issue is that it's not the second best option.

According to the WHO it goes:

Breast milk from the breast
Mother's pumped breast milk
Donor milk
Commercial formula


I personally would add homemade formula before commercial formula, but obviously that isn't possible for a lot of people (special needs babies, limited availability for certain ingredients, etc.) So my issue here is mainly that donor milk is so hard to get. There are limited donors, so I really wish donating milk was more encouraged and talked about. It's really important. But the biggest issue is that a lot of donor milk goes to these milk banks where they not only pasteurize the milk, but they price gouge! It is not right to charge $4 an ounce for breast milk. That's ridiculous and unfair to mothers and babies!

My other issues with formula are that I really believe they could be made better. GMOs should not be allowed in formula. Neither should junk ingredients like high fructose corn syrup. The milk used should be hormone free, etc.

Last edited by JustSomeChickVee; 01-31-2013 at 06:43 PM.
JustSomeChickVee is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 08:37 AM   #35
JustSomeChickVee
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,662
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

oh forgot to mention that I only know one woman who didn't even try once. she decided as soon as she got pregnant that she would formula feed. because she wanted to smoke pot asap. She would talk about how much she wanted to smoke pot and how she couldn't wait to smoke again once the baby was born and how much she looked forward to her first time smoking again...

eek! i'm sure that's not typical reasoning, but I was horrified tbh.
JustSomeChickVee is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 08:37 AM   #36
Belle1002's Avatar
Belle1002
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: York, PA
Posts: 387
My Mood:
Of those I know, one had had breast reduction surgery and was unable to BF, another was on anti seizure meds and it was determined unsafe for baby to BF, another had to choose between BFing and starting aggressive chemo for breast cancer ASAP. All are very private individuals who care not to share their reasons with strangers and have been judged on numerous occasions by strangers. My children were adopted, spent a month in the NICU at which time we had no rights, so even attempting to induce lactation wasn't an option. I can recall at least 4 women who made very judgmental comments to me in line while I was purchasing formula. Sure, there are some women who just choose not to BF for personal reasons, but there are many reasons one might choose to FF from the start.
__________________


Loving life with our very energetic 2 year old b/g twins!
Belle1002 is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 08:41 AM   #37
amb2j's Avatar
amb2j
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,830
My Mood:
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Honestly, its just different strokes for different folks. Although breasfeeding is important to me for a number of different reasons, someone else might simply not have those same priorities or perspectives.

I know women who have decided beforehand not to breastfeed for a number of reasons. I may not agree with the ultimate decision for myself, but for them, it is what works.
__________________
April-Wife to hopeless romantic nuclear submariner DH WOHM to my rambunctious snuggler DS (08/10) who was born SMILING. and DD (2/13) my hero
amb2j is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 08:45 AM   #38
Kiliki's Avatar
Kiliki
Registered Users
Formerly: kr***y
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 9,397
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tris View Post
Apparently your H is a butt man then? do you not live in the US? I've never heard of anyone try to argue breasts aren't extremely sexualized.
I'm not arguing that they aren't sexualized. Of course they are. But just b/c they are doesn't mean everyone views them that way. They're just boobs. Bags of flesh that hang over your ribs.


Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post
Really? You have never been aroused by any "action" around the breasts? I would say that is the exception, it's pretty typical for women to be aroused by that.
honestly, truly, no. Never. Ever. Not even a little. I realize it's probably not the norm, but I also wonder how much of it is from commercialism focusing so much on BREASTS!!! LOOK! BREASTS! OOOOH! BOOBIES! @@ I think the society we live in is severely over-sexualized as it is. Everything is not about sex. But it seems everything is made out to be somehow about sex.

To me, honestly, boobs are just another part of my body. Like my toes, or my arm. Except - HEY! They make milk for my babies! Sah-weet! "cause we are too dang poor to afford formula. Yesss.

Maybe I just didn't get as affected by that? No idea.

Anyway, that's just me. Obviously everyone is different. It's just that my own perspective makes it harder to understand someone on the other side of the fence. KWIM? That doesn't mean I judge them. Maybe I don't understand it, maybe I disagree with their choices, etc - but ultimately, it's their kid, their body, their choice.

I know I do a TON of things people think are "wrong" - I spank, I let my kids go hungry if they don't want to eat their food, I moved my kid to a bigger carseat a couple pounds before I should have, I let my babies sleep on their tummies - I would really not want someone nit-picking me apart.

I do what is best for me and my kids and my family. If someone else does something different, b/c it is best for them, their kids, and their family, that's fine.

There is no black & white to parenting.

Circ, BF, ERF, co-sleeping, room-sharing... we can all make different choices and STILL be good parents.

Last edited by Kiliki; 01-31-2013 at 08:47 AM.
Kiliki is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 08:50 AM   #39
l_Kimmie_l
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Maine
Posts: 12,584
My Mood:
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post
Really? You have never been aroused by any "action" around the breasts? I would say that is the exception, it's pretty typical for women to be aroused by that.
I have also never liked my boobs touched a sexual. I do not get aroused, in fact I get turned off. I allow my DH to touch them as he likes them, but it does nothing for me. In my world, boobies are for babies and filling out sweaters...LOL!
l_Kimmie_l is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 08:54 AM   #40
theonenonlymrssmith's Avatar
theonenonlymrssmith
Poet Laureate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 4,246
I have nothing nice to say, so I guess it's best to keep my mouth shut for the most part although I REALLY don't want to. :-)

However, to stay in topic, the ones i have met were worried about ruining their boobs, another didn't want to deal with the "learning curve". And i have Heard of some mothers who may have flashback to sexual abuse and choose not to.

For the record, my first son was formula fed due to no milk supply (I have hypo-plastic breasts) so I absolutely know that formula has its place, but not a day goes by that I don't feel guilty that I wasn't able to nurse my first son.
theonenonlymrssmith is online now  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.