Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

[ulawolf]

Originally Posted by JustSomeChickVee I have read every single comment on this thread. lol. You don't know what anyone's reasons for choosing not to BF are. I'd imagine that the number of women who just didn't want to BF and that was it is actually pretty low. I think a lot of those women simply don't want to bring up their reasons and that is within their right. I answered your question. If formula had not been invented I would either have to use a wet nurse or make my own.. or my child would have died.... EXCEPT that my son never latched so formula would not have been an option. i would have had to pump, which I did, but i lost my supply after chronic mastitis. So unless donor milk was readily available because of some huge cultural shift, I would have to make my own or my child would die. You're trying to make this way too black and white.

Thank you

[kattayanna_mom]

I wish I knew about good homemade formulas when I had to stop breastfeeding my older DDs due to medical issues after struggling for 4 months

[mcpforever]

Originally Posted by kattayanna_mom Dun dun dun dun I am tired of trying to get people to stop and think! So What would you (general) do if you could not get it so easily? I am glad formula is there for those that NEED it not as much so for those that just want it.

In DD's case and at her age, I would have increased her intake of solids and bought a goat. If she were younger, I really don't know what I would have done. I was in a position where I could have invested the time and money in driving around to procure donor milk-assuming there were enough donors interested in my area. I'm sure it would have been a full time job just feeding my child and my eldest would have gotten short changed in the mommy department. I also would have pushed solids earlier.

[Rcfahey]

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[s@hmommy]

Originally Posted by s@hmommy I think that if things were that way there would be a lot of babies not having their nutritional needs met. My great grandmother fed her babies some sort of canned milk or straight cows milk because she couldn't bf them and couldn't afford the formula. I could see many people doing the same if they couldn't get their hands on formula. I think formula is a wonderful thing and it would be awful if it were no longer readily available in our current society. You just can't force people who are barely getting by with two people working to pay the extra for a wet nurse, or donated formula, or to quite their jobs to bf.

And my mom just informed me that her mother fed her and her 14 siblings carnation canned milk because she could not bf and could not afford formula. Apparently I am not the only one in my family that has super inverted nipples.

[Love4leon]

I've only read the first 12 pages... I think OP should be held responsible for bringing up a topic that always gets ugly.

Some women reading will get defensive because they feel guilty for not being able to breast feed. They feel guilty because they have already read enough on the benefits of breast feeding. Threads like this get taken personal because it is such a personal decision and many times women simply can't breast feed. I have epilepsy and was unable to breastfeed my daughter because the medication I was on was still new. Now 6 years later I am told I can breastfeed our baby due in summer which I plan to do. However, I still feel guilty 6 years later for not breastfeeding my daughter.

You don't bring up this topic innocently... it just isn't possible. Plus- read the responses. This topic brings up the ugliest judgmental replies.

[MakingHome]

Originally Posted by Love4leon I've only read the first 12 pages... I think OP should be held responsible for bringing up a topic that always gets ugly. Some women reading will get defensive because they feel guilty for not being able to breast feed. They feel guilty because they have already read enough on the benefits of breast feeding. Threads like this get taken personal because it is such a personal decision and many times women simply can't breast feed. I have epilepsy and was unable to breastfeed my daughter because the medication I was on was still new. Now 6 years later I am told I can breastfeed our baby due in summer which I plan to do. However, I still feel guilty 6 years later for not breastfeeding my daughter. You don't bring up this topic innocently... it just isn't possible. Plus- read the responses. This topic brings up the ugliest judgmental replies.

Regardless of what you believe about me and my motives which truly were curiosity, I am glad you and others have posted about medical conditions, etc. truly there are a vast array of things I'd just never encountered or thought about before and I am glad to have a better understanding although I share your assessment that this thread has not been beneficial or helpful for many who have read and/or participated and for that I am sorry.

[cmarsh31]

I've tried very hard to to say a word... but in honor of a close friend celebrating her one year anniversary of her breast cancer diagnosis today... I will say thank goodness formula is readily available. She was forced to wean her son because she found a lump. She immediately had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation, and reconstruction surgery. She is thriving and doing fantastic... as is her FF son. There's no way, while going through all of that, with 2 young children, and working FT (when she could) she would have time for a wet nurse, donated milk, or anything else. There are some things you can work through, but there are others you can't. To say that her choice was disgusting or to go further and refuse to be friends with her because she FF her son makes me feel sick. I can't wait until we are celebrating her 5 year anniversary.

[an_aurora]

I have three kids who were all breastfed for at least a year (my oldest was EBF until 6 months and then got occasional formula; the other two had not a drop of formula and BF until 22 and 15 months respectively). If I have another kid, I will either not breastfeed at all, or BF for the first couple of weeks and then switch. I hate breastfeeding, it makes me resent my baby, I never lose baby weight until I wean which only contributes to the PPD. All that, but I really don't need to justify not wanting to BF because FF is perfectly safe and healthy and fine.

[poohbear1208]

Originally Posted by cmarsh31 I've tried very hard to to say a word... but in honor of a close friend celebrating her one year anniversary of her breast cancer diagnosis today... I will say thank goodness formula is readily available. She was forced to wean her son because she found a lump. She immediately had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation, and reconstruction surgery. She is thriving and doing fantastic... as is her FF son. There's no way, while going through all of that, with 2 young children, and working FT (when she could) she would have time for a wet nurse, donated milk, or anything else. There are some things you can work through, but there are others you can't. To say that her choice was disgusting or to go further and refuse to be friends with her because she FF her son makes me feel sick. I can't wait until we are celebrating her 5 year anniversary.

Hugs to your friend!!!!! I was dx when my 2nd DD was 9 months. It sucks and life becomes a whirlwind of doctors, surgeries, and treatments. And you are 100% correct- there is NO way she would have had the time or the energy to find donors, a wet nurse, recipes to make her own formula, etc. I remember clear as day how my MIL had to move in with us because i couldn't care for myself, much less my kids. It's a crazy, stressful time and all efforts need to be on getting healthy and well again. Good luck to her, I wish her all the best!!!