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Old 02-11-2013, 08:11 PM   #511
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Then say that. Say hey, I know it seems impossible but I, found that there are many ways you might not be aware of. Pm me if your interested in more info" instead of " all you mamas who tried and failed you just weren't really committed and should go hide under a rock in shame for your lesser commitment to your childs health " way of saying things. But maybe that's just, your sparkling personality.
I didn't say that at all. Way to be over-dramatic, very helpful to the conversation!

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Old 02-11-2013, 08:11 PM   #512
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I don't see how someone who worked so hard to get dozens of donors to fill a chest freezer full of milk is just "lucky". That is commitment and hard work I know people who supplement with HM4HB and Eats on Feets. It isn't easy and they aren't lucky. They work extremely hard to contact donors, coordinate shipments and pickups, etc so that their babies have breast milk.

I'm not sure why that hard work is so offensive to people here. If you don't want the hassle of donor milk, don't do it (i don't know if I could manage it myself!), but xtin is right--people do make it happen, usually because they are very opposed to their babies having formula.
I NEVER said it couldn't happen. I said it is not as easy as many want to make it out to be and regardless of how hard you look for it, you're going to be subject to availability. Like I said I used HM4HB, Eats on Feets and Milkshare. Never once got milk from any of those places. There is way more demand than supply.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:13 PM   #513
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Personally, I would never give donor milk to my child - I would rather do formula. I have a huge supply and have offered to donate to a friend who was struggling so this is not an issue to us.

My issue with donor milk is that you do not know how safe it is at all times - I mean one day the mom cuts her hand washing dishes at church with a group of ladys and gets Hep.... Not exactly planned or known. Does she test every single oz of milk given - no. What if one of the donors was a nurse - the risks of AIDS is even creaper! Yes, I do understand that there are no proven cases of HIV/AIDS going through breastmilk but not something I would risk.
Many donors provide blood tests and screenings regularly to their recipients. If I ever had to use donor milk from someone I didn't know, I'd insist on it.

Not to mention, do you know how much melamine is in each ounce of formula? No. Or which batch of formula was contaminated at the factory with some food bourne pathogen? It's not as simple as just trading risks for some people.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:15 PM   #514
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Personally, I would never give donor milk to my child - I would rather do formula. I have a huge supply and have offered to donate to a friend who was struggling so this is not an issue to us.

My issue with donor milk is that you do not know how safe it is at all times - I mean one day the mom cuts her hand washing dishes at church with a group of ladys and gets Hep.... Not exactly planned or known. Does she test every single oz of milk given - no. What if one of the donors was a nurse - the risks of AIDS is even creaper! Yes, I do understand that there are no proven cases of HIV/AIDS going through breastmilk but not something I would risk.
Hepatitis C and B are not transmitted through breastmilk. http://www.cdc.gov/hepatitis/c/cfaq.htm http://www.cdc.gov/hepatitis/b/bfaq.htm

Hepatitis A is by coming in contact with an infected persons fecal matter. http://www.cdc.gov/hepatitis/A/
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:16 PM   #515
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I live in Arkansas and this doesn't surprise me one bit. I guess I've just been stubborn enough to best the odds. And been very lucky to have babies who nursed easily. The closest lll meeting to me is almost two hours away. I've even considered training to be a lll leader.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:16 PM   #516
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Well, if someone TRULY wants to find donor milk, they will. Better?

i have yet to meet someone who couldn't find donor milk for supplementation and trust me, I am pretty active in the mikshare community.

Anyone with a genuine desire to nourish their baby with donated milk, please PM me and i will help you find milk.
But I think it also comes down to having the connections to even know where to look--some of the responses you got upthread are pretty good examples. Likewise, one has to have the time...or the money to have the time...or the flexible time, to a certain extent. Unless one already has the connections, it's not as though donors fall into one's lap. You have to have the time to find, connect with, and correspond with the donor, or even multiple donors. Get to the PO while it's open. Potentially take it to get it screened.

Yes, with enough resources + enough sacrifices, it's possible. But I'll be honest...as much as I think that bf is the ideal, I don't think it's reasonable to expect women to (or judge them if they don't) prioritize bfing above all else. You're homeless b/c you're a single mom of three who lost her job? Geez, I feel for you, but take solace in the fact that, if there's a will, there's a way, and you gave your baby the very best you could; nevermind that it cost you your job and your home, that baby got bm...that makes you the best mom evah THAT's why your comment sounded so condescending & you got the backlash. Good grief! Even if it isn't so desolate as all that, there are [perfectly legitimate] reasons why women won't/don't/can't sacrifice the time, energy, money, and resources to go to the ends of the earth to secure bm.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:17 PM   #517
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I NEVER said it couldn't happen. I said it is not as easy as many want to make it out to be and regardless of how hard you look for it, you're going to be subject to availability. Like I said I used HM4HB, Eats on Feets and Milkshare. Never once got milk from any of those places. There is way more demand than supply.
Right, and all xtin said was "where there's a will there's a way". That's not an insult, and that doesn't mean it's easy. That, to me, means it's actually quite difficult. I think it's rather insulting to say that her experience was simply luck...because I would bet dollars to donuts that it wasn't easy or lucky, but the result of a lot of time and hard work. That's the "will" part of her statement.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:18 PM   #518
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I don't see how someone who worked so hard to get dozens of donors to fill a chest freezer full of milk is just "lucky". That is commitment and hard work I know people who supplement with HM4HB and Eats on Feets. It isn't easy and they aren't lucky. They work extremely hard to contact donors, coordinate shipments and pickups, etc so that their babies have breast milk.

I'm not sure why that hard work is so offensive to people here. If you don't want the hassle of donor milk, don't do it (i don't know if I could manage it myself!), but xtin is right--people do make it happen, usually because they are very opposed to their babies having formula.
Exactly my point. It's nothing to do with LUCK, its never settling for inferior nutrition for my children due to MY medical issues. It's hours of driving, calling, coordinating, finding ways to thank them for their work, organizing the milk by date, defrosting it, keeping it sterile, rationing it to make sure we don't run out early, washing bottles, transporting frozen milk anywhere we go, making sure we never have a power outage and lose electricity to the deep freezer with the donor milk. Compared to going to Target, buying a can of powder and shaking it into some filtered water? Really, my luck is amazing.

I have "some nerve" to point out that when a mom says "I used formula because I had no other choice" that they DID have another choice, its just a shame they didnt know about it, or that they felt formula was just as good.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:23 PM   #519
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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But I think it also comes down to having the connections to even know where to look--some of the responses you got upthread are pretty good examples. Likewise, one has to have the time...or the money to have the time...or the flexible time, to a certain extent. Unless one already has the connections, it's not as though donors fall into one's lap. You have to have the time to find, connect with, and correspond with the donor, or even multiple donors. Get to the PO while it's open. Potentially take it to get it screened.

Yes, with enough resources + enough sacrifices, it's possible. But I'll be honest...as much as I think that bf is the ideal, I don't think it's reasonable to expect women to (or judge them if they don't) prioritize bfing above all else. You're homeless b/c you're a single mom of three who lost her job? Geez, I feel for you, but take solace in the fact that, if there's a will, there's a way, and you gave your baby the very best you could; nevermind that it cost you your job and your home, that baby got bm...that makes you the best mom evah THAT's why your comment sounded so condescending & you got the backlash. Good grief! Even if it isn't so desolate as all that, there are [perfectly legitimate] reasons why women won't/don't/can't sacrifice the time, energy, money, and resources to go to the ends of the earth to secure bm.

A bit extreme to expect a homeless mother to seek out breastmilk but of course, to prove a point you couldn't just say "most women CAN breastfeed but just don't want to"

Yeah, there ARE perfectly good reasons NOT to breastfeed your child at your own breast, but i can't think of a reason not to accept donor milk as long as its safe and screened. I can't think of very many legitimate reasons to use formula and that is MY opinion and you do not have to agree with me. I have 4 very valid medical reasons not to breastfeed and I am telling you there is a way when you want it badly enough.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:23 PM   #520
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Exactly my point. It's nothing to do with LUCK, its never settling for inferior nutrition for my children due to MY medical issues. It's hours of driving, calling, coordinating, finding ways to thank them for their work, organizing the milk by date, defrosting it, keeping it sterile, rationing it to make sure we don't run out early, washing bottles, transporting frozen milk anywhere we go, making sure we never have a power outage and lose electricity to the deep freezer with the donor milk. Compared to going to Target, buying a can of powder and shaking it into some filtered water? Really, my luck is amazing.

I have "some nerve" to point out that when a mom says "I used formula because I had no other choice" that they DID have another choice, its just a shame they didnt know about it, or that they felt formula was just as good.
Yes, because most women don't have jobs or any other obligations. EVERY woman had time for "hours of driving, calling, coordinating, finding ways to thank them for their work "

even if you do all that, you could still not find enough to 100% feed your baby BM. not everyone can afford the gas to drive hours for milk. Imagine this, some mamas may be special needs themselves and have issues to take care of for their own health and well being. Some mamas may have a special needs child and caring for that child doesn't allow them the time to drive for hours and sit online and on the phone all day.

What a shame for those mothers, and any others with issues i didn't think of, to use formula. It's just so sad
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