February/March Chat Thread

[newmommy13]

Originally Posted by FindingMercy 2 days left!! We finally finalize on Thursday. So blasted excited yo be done with this roller coaster. His birthmom still doesn't know what she wants to do with the new baby. She is trying to get into nursing school, and if that happens I think she will lean toward adoption. A local mom was just selling off a gorgeous newborn stash on Facebook though and it took all my self control I could muster to not scoop them up. The baby will be born via c/s at 35 weeks, so we will definitely need itty bitty diapers if we are parenting this one.

So exciting!!!!!!

[mmbreb]

Originally Posted by FindingMercy 2 days left!! We finally finalize on Thursday. So blasted excited yo be done with this roller coaster. His birthmom still doesn't know what she wants to do with the new baby. She is trying to get into nursing school, and if that happens I think she will lean toward adoption. A local mom was just selling off a gorgeous newborn stash on Facebook though and it took all my self control I could muster to not scoop them up. The baby will be born via c/s at 35 weeks, so we will definitely need itty bitty diapers if we are parenting this one.

Congrats Mama


AFM: We went today for the meeting about Spider-Man. We will have several daytime and overnight visits and on April 13th he will be moved permanently into our home! We are super excited. Sunday is his birthday part and his foster mom has invited us to join in the fun. We will also have him over Easter.

We were told he is considered legal risk because there is an appeal pending but they do not feel there is much validity to it. Although we would be devastated if we become completely attached and things went wrong from what I know that is not a likely scenario. I just hope it doesn't drag out the adoption process.

Little-Man is really struggling. He cries a lot especially after visits with his bio dad. There is a seemingly good relationship there and he cries a lot afterwords. On the other hand he is excelling so much developmentally. The social workers and other service workers are amazed at how much he talks now and the things he knows. It makes me feel good to think we are helping him heal a little bit even when it is hard for him.

[Robin]

Originally Posted by ivparker Yep, they knew the whole time how many were in our family. We originally are only licensed for 1 because in our state you are only allowed 6 kids in a home and we have 5. When we got the twins they changed our license to 2. Now just the other day I got a license that says 3 and doesn't expire till Dec. 2014. So I don't know what is going on. They are requiring my agency to seek out all agencies in our county for another placement. Well, they did that originally that one night trying to place them and we were the only ones in the county willing to take them. But the next day they did find another family but they still ended up with us because of a complicated thing. I'm hoping they can't find anyone. I sent a couple very long emails this weekend to my agency hoping to clarify stuff. like what's with my license and can they let agencies know the situation and let any new foster parents know that if they take them, they will have a very traumatized girl. It seems like it will be a long case. We would adopt them but I have no idea if it is going to go that way. Did I mention dfd2 only speaks in Spanish. They didn't know this placing her and good I know lots of Spanish. Plus, this may sound weird, but I have been mistaken as Spanish my whole life so they fit in well to our family, I'm Italian.

Our first foster placement was two little girls aged 3 and 5. They were Hispanic and mom was bilingual. They were neglected and the trauma of placing in foster care and their neglect - they were not talking at all at placement. I know some Spanish and worked with them a lot and they made such progress in 4 months. Then, the caseworker changed (high turnover), and suddenly they were moved to another family that could take 4 of the 5 siblings (so two total families instead of 3). It was awful. The girls could not communicate well enough to understand what was happening. I really, really, really hope they do not do the same with your foster girls. It sounds like they are in the best place. Foster care can be sooo frustrating. What ever happened to "in the best interest of the kids"?

[Robin]

We were foster parents in another state. We had 7 foster kids and adopted 2 of them. We moved almost 2 years ago and decided to not get re-licensed right away so we could concentrate on our young family. We heard a rumor in Dec that the mom of our 2 adopted kids was pregnant again. In Feb, we found out she was pregnant, the baby was born in Jan, and they would actually place her across state lines, so we started seeing how quickly we could get licensed. We're still in the process, hoping for about 3 more weeks, and then we see how long all the state-to-state paperwork will take. Baby girl is in a good foster home. Foster mom sends us pics almost every day.

[~*~Sunflower~*~]

Really mad at our social worker right now. We get told to meet parents for visitation at a park. Not in our county, of course, but in a city that we used to live in. I had never even heard of the park. Parents tell social worker that it is convenient for them to get to on the bus,and they had been there once before so they know where it is, but I know from the arrest report that it is less than 1 min from the address they gave when they got picked up.
I tell the social worker this, she does not care. Also, it is a terrible part of town (my cousin grew up there. he is now a former gang member who served time for attempted murder. bio dad has gang tattoos & used this address... not good IMO).

So, I google & there is no such park. I google the address & look at the live pictures, there is no park, just the back of a school. We find a park nearby & email the social worker with all of the info, asking if maybe the other park is it. She insists that we are wrong, bios gave her the address & furthermore she is online & sees it on a map. she sends us a condescending email with a pic of a lame "map" with a pin in it in the general vicinity she thinks we should be going to with a "hope this map helps you" message.

Well, we go & there is no freaking park on that street. We get a call, oh, parents called & guess what -we were right!Only, she doesn't say that we were right, just that the parents called & said that the park has a different name. The one we told her we thought must be it!No comment on the fact that it is on a totally different street!

I am MAD! I am supposed to do whatever the bios say with no question? I am supposed to do all of the homework on the destination & drive around looking for it?
No consideration for us or our safety?

This park was not even near a bus stop. We had suggested a park near a bus stop, but it gets vetoed for this one?

Next week they have court in my town. I am insisting they do visitation at a park down the road. Otherwise, the social worker can do it!I think I am going to have a meeting with her boss,too. Our old agency would NEVER pull this!

[FindingMercy]

It's final!!! My computer is only intermittently working, so I can't get any pics uploaded directly to the thread right now. There are some on the blog though.

http://findingmercy.blogspot.com/201...final.html?m=1

[~*~Sunflower~*~]

Originally Posted by FindingMercy It's final!!! My computer is only intermittently working, so I can't get any pics uploaded directly to the thread right now. There are some on the blog though. http://findingmercy.blogspot.com/201...final.html?m=1

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

[ivparker]

Originally Posted by ~*~Sunflower~*~ Really mad at our social worker right now. We get told to meet parents for visitation at a park. Not in our county, of course, but in a city that we used to live in. I had never even heard of the park. Parents tell social worker that it is convenient for them to get to on the bus,and they had been there once before so they know where it is, but I know from the arrest report that it is less than 1 min from the address they gave when they got picked up. I tell the social worker this, she does not care. Also, it is a terrible part of town (my cousin grew up there. he is now a former gang member who served time for attempted murder. bio dad has gang tattoos & used this address... not good IMO). So, I google & there is no such park. I google the address & look at the live pictures, there is no park, just the back of a school. We find a park nearby & email the social worker with all of the info, asking if maybe the other park is it. She insists that we are wrong, bios gave her the address & furthermore she is online & sees it on a map. she sends us a condescending email with a pic of a lame "map" with a pin in it in the general vicinity she thinks we should be going to with a "hope this map helps you" message. Well, we go & there is no freaking park on that street. We get a call, oh, parents called & guess what -we were right!Only, she doesn't say that we were right, just that the parents called & said that the park has a different name. The one we told her we thought must be it!No comment on the fact that it is on a totally different street! I am MAD! I am supposed to do whatever the bios say with no question? I am supposed to do all of the homework on the destination & drive around looking for it? No consideration for us or our safety? This park was not even near a bus stop. We had suggested a park near a bus stop, but it gets vetoed for this one? Next week they have court in my town. I am insisting they do visitation at a park down the road. Otherwise, the social worker can do it!I think I am going to have a meeting with her boss,too. Our old agency would NEVER pull this!

That is so wrong! Can you talk to a supervisor and bring it up as "is it standard for bio parents to pick place of visits?"Then you can bring up safety issues. Also, we always have the choice to supervise the visits or not. If we don't feel comfortable, they have to send a case aid unless visits are unsupervised but then you drop them off and leave. Either way, I am so tired of the system treating foster parents like employees instead of volunteers. And they wonder why they lose FP all of the time.

[Robin]

Originally Posted by ~*~Sunflower~*~ Really mad at our social worker right now. We get told to meet parents for visitation at a park. Not in our county, of course, but in a city that we used to live in. I had never even heard of the park. Parents tell social worker that it is convenient for them to get to on the bus,and they had been there once before so they know where it is, but I know from the arrest report that it is less than 1 min from the address they gave when they got picked up. I tell the social worker this, she does not care. Also, it is a terrible part of town (my cousin grew up there. he is now a former gang member who served time for attempted murder. bio dad has gang tattoos & used this address... not good IMO). So, I google & there is no such park. I google the address & look at the live pictures, there is no park, just the back of a school. We find a park nearby & email the social worker with all of the info, asking if maybe the other park is it. She insists that we are wrong, bios gave her the address & furthermore she is online & sees it on a map. she sends us a condescending email with a pic of a lame "map" with a pin in it in the general vicinity she thinks we should be going to with a "hope this map helps you" message. Well, we go & there is no freaking park on that street. We get a call, oh, parents called & guess what -we were right!Only, she doesn't say that we were right, just that the parents called & said that the park has a different name. The one we told her we thought must be it!No comment on the fact that it is on a totally different street! I am MAD! I am supposed to do whatever the bios say with no question? I am supposed to do all of the homework on the destination & drive around looking for it? No consideration for us or our safety? This park was not even near a bus stop. We had suggested a park near a bus stop, but it gets vetoed for this one? Next week they have court in my town. I am insisting they do visitation at a park down the road. Otherwise, the social worker can do it!I think I am going to have a meeting with her boss,too. Our old agency would NEVER pull this!

Wow! We only ever had visitation at the CPS office, and we only dropped the foster kids off and picked up after the visit.

[Robin]

Originally Posted by FindingMercy It's final!!! My computer is only intermittently working, so I can't get any pics uploaded directly to the thread right now. There are some on the blog though. http://findingmercy.blogspot.com/201...final.html?m=1

Congratulations!