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Old 02-03-2013, 11:37 PM   #21
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Re: 4yr old boy says he does not want to be a boy.

When Tharen was 3 or 4 he was adamant he wanted to be a woman figure skater. A male figure skater just would not do for him. Of my two boys Tharen is not the more sensitive, he is my little ball of constant energy. I always say he has two speeds, GO and asleep (and asleep doesn't happen often). He did eventually outgrow the figure skating dream, but only because he replaced it with the roller derby dream. Now he intends to make it to the Olympics in roller derby. But he does still wear Hello Kitty shirts, anything neon colored, paints his nails (only his toes cause he chews his fingers), plays with My Little Pony and Hello Kitty toys, dresses up in tu-tus and crowns and has his room decorated in a mix of Hello Kitty and Halloween (it looks like a rainbow vomited on Halloween town in there). This is who he is right now and I wouldn't change that. Dh and I just support him being whoever he is going to be and doing whatever makes him happy. I do not think that a child of 4 saying "I want to be a girl" necessarily has a deeper meaning, but if it did I would rather be supportive than push him away.

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Old 02-04-2013, 12:20 AM   #22
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Re: 4yr old boy says he does not want to be a boy.

[QUOTE=While there is always a chance that a child is homosexual or transgendered, I would simply not worry about that now. Parenting style does not make one gay. You are born that way. Your DH needs to chill out about gender roles. All that will do is put up more blocks to their relationship if your son is gay.[/QUOTE]

I agree with this TOTALLY. Especially about putting up more road blocks in their relationship. Kids need to feel safe and supported by their parents, not made to feel guilty about what they are feeling. You are doing good mama...you shouldn't be made to feel bad about supporting your son and letting him be himself.
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Old 02-04-2013, 12:21 AM   #23
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Re: 4yr old boy says he does not want to be a boy.

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Originally Posted by l_Kimmie_l View Post
My oldest was like that at that age. I just said ok and left it at that. He also wanted to be a helicptor once too. He loves his mom and you care for him so he is trying to identify with you. While there is always a chance that a child is homosexual or transgendered, I would simply not worry about that now. Parenting style does not make one gay. You are born that way. Your DH needs to chill out about gender roles. All that will do is put up more blocks to their relationship if your son is gay.
This is very close to what I was going to say, so I'll be lazy and quote

I've worked with kids most my life. They really are born that way, so don't worry too much about it!
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:50 AM   #24
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Re: 4yr old boy says he does not want to be a boy.

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Originally Posted by JennTheMomma View Post
Wouldn't worry about it. Most likely a phase, and if it's not, you can jump off that bridge when you get to it.
This post struck me as really, really funny. .... "jump off that bridge" instead of "cross that bridge" .... LOL

My son told me he wanted to be a girl around age 3. I like gender roles and I didn't let him wear his sister's clothes or paint his fingernails. But I did let him wear her princess dresses for dress up, and I did let him talk all he wanted about being a girl. I just kept telling him I loved him so much, he was my ONLY boy and I liked him as a boy.

He grew out of it quickly, thanks to my chauvinistic brother, saying things like, "You can't wear that, that's for GIRLS!" or "Only BOYS can do this!"

Suddenly DS went from wanting to be a girl, to really loving being a boy and identifying with the male role models in his life... Now he emulates DH, my brother, and my Dad all the time....
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:39 AM   #25
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Re: 4yr old boy says he does not want to be a boy.

As a child, I really, really wanted to be a boy. Then, I wanted to be Jodi Foster.

I'm completely straight, I like men... I like only the men who act like the stereotypical men. I don't like men who are nerdy, techie types... I like the football coach, beer drinking, yard work kind of man. You'd think with my tom-boyishness, I would like the more nurturing kind of man... but, I don't.

Maybe I was just boy crazy as a young girl as well as being a tomboy.

You have to admit.. girls have better clothes. Little girls have better colors, and we have sparkles, and shiny things. Boys just have t-shirts with Rhinos or footballs on it.

I've had a few kids in my classroom, or in my daycare that wanted to be the opposite sex. It wasn't uncommon. I have kept in occasional touch with most of those kids. One is Gay. He and I talked, I asked him if he remembered crying because he wanted to be a girl. He said "Yes, but I was wrong.. I liked girls better.. I wanted to be accepted in with the girls, I didn't want to ride a two wheeler with the boys.. I just wanted to sit in the sand box and play my little ponies".

Another Boy who wanted to be a girl, just didn't like what his dad liked. He didn't like what his brothers liked. But, he did like what his sister and girl classmates liked. He is straight, and he's that geeky musician, artsy, fartsy guy that likes women. His current girlfriend rides motocross bikes for a living. She wanted to be a boy when she grew up. LOL
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