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Old 02-06-2013, 10:55 AM   #11
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Re: Grandparents watching kids?

If she needs to work to pay bills, I can't imagine asking her to work for you for free and not pay her bills.

Honestly, I think i'd rather pay a daycare provider to do it, unless my Mom needed the money and wanted to do it. It's a lot of work, and when they aren't yours, it becomes harder than the parents assume it is.

Plus, your mom can't be "grandma" anymore if she's also the daycare provider.

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Old 02-06-2013, 10:57 AM   #12
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Re: Grandparents watching kids?

My mom has actually moved in with us (temporarily) and has been buying our groceries and everything. She's awesome. She hasn't asked for money, but I will be giving her a chunk of money after we do taxes (I wish we got more back but we don't so anything is better than nothing). If she refuses to take the money, which she has done in the past, then I will allot it towards her bills. I also plan on taking her out somewhere nice as a thank you from DH and me.

DH's family, on the other hand, has straight up told us they will not watch our kids full time unless we pay them. I think MIL suggested $100 a week.
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Old 02-06-2013, 12:03 PM   #13
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Re: Grandparents watching kids?

I would pay her if it was that situation where she needed it, even if she tried to refuse. I'd look up what normal daycare costs and try to pay as close as I could afford/what would be fair. My parents watch our kids on weekends when we need a sitter, we live 90 miles away so it's not a regular thing. I've never paid them and there's no way they'd take any money.
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Old 02-06-2013, 07:56 PM   #14
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I would pay her if it was that situation where she needed it, even if she tried to refuse. I'd look up what normal daycare costs and try to pay as close as I could afford/what would be fair. My parents watch our kids on weekends when we need a sitter, we live 90 miles away so it's not a regular thing. I've never paid them and there's no way they'd take any money.
Normal daycare costs here are astronomical. With two to pay for and the oldest in paid preschool it's gonna be rough.

Our normal cost with Ayla is $445 for preschool plus $400 for additional care. That is already low for part time care and it pushes our budget. Offering my mom $400 would be almost insulting for both kids but we really can't afford more.

I guess this is more of a budget problem :-(
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Old 02-07-2013, 03:54 PM   #15
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What if you offered to pay a certain bill(s) in exchange for watching your kids?
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Old 02-08-2013, 03:12 PM   #16
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Re: Grandparents watching kids?

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Originally Posted by aylasmommy View Post
I'll be heading back to work mid April and have considered asking my mom to watch DD and DS. She already watches DD On Friday's when DD doesn't have school, but this would be much more! My mom needs to work to survive (you know, pay for bills) so I'm wondering, those of you that have the grandparents watch your kids, do you compensate them? What about of it's part time only?
My parents watched my daughter for a little over a month while I went back to teach. She was 2 months old at the time.

They live relatively comfortably, but I still wanted to "pay" them some way. I would buy them groceries or take one of their utility bills and pay for it. Not sure if this helps, but maybe help her out with some things she may need done in her home? HTH
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Old 02-08-2013, 07:15 PM   #17
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What if you offered to pay a certain bill(s) in exchange for watching your kids?
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Originally Posted by firstbaby2011

My parents watched my daughter for a little over a month while I went back to teach. She was 2 months old at the time.

They live relatively comfortably, but I still wanted to "pay" them some way. I would buy them groceries or take one of their utility bills and pay for it. Not sure if this helps, but maybe help her out with some things she may need done in her home? HTH
Good ideas. Thanks!!
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Old 02-09-2013, 01:08 AM   #18
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Re: Grandparents watching kids?

My mother keeps my nephew on the weekends so my sister (who is a single mom) can work and my Grandmother (so my daughter's great grandmother) keeps my daughter during the day while I teach.

Neither one would accept financial compensation since in my family it is considered more of our duty to help each other out than a favor. I also keep my nephew for a few hours during the week while my sister is in a night class and I would never dream of asking for compensation.

However, should anyone in our family need anything, we are expected (and fully would) drop everything to go help them out.
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Old 02-09-2013, 09:07 AM   #19
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Re: Grandparents watching kids?

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Originally Posted by escapethevillage View Post
If she needs to work to pay bills, I can't imagine asking her to work for you for free and not pay her bills.

Honestly, I think i'd rather pay a daycare provider to do it, unless my Mom needed the money and wanted to do it. It's a lot of work, and when they aren't yours, it becomes harder than the parents assume it is.

Plus, your mom can't be "grandma" anymore if she's also the daycare provider.
The bolded is something many don't think about. Our boys go to grandmas twice a week for about 4 or 5 hours and every other Saturday to spend the night. Grandma can't spoil them like she would like to because they have terrible behavior when she does and it effects their schooling and how they act at church. She has memories of going to grandmas for a few weeks in the summer and getting everything she ever wanted. If they just went in the summer, I would probably allow it, but since they are there multiple times a week, we have strict rules for how our children behave and what they can get at grandmas. It was tough at first, but everyone does fine with this arrangement now. MIL still complains at times but when we say we will arrange other child care she gets mad at that as well.
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Old 03-01-2013, 04:26 PM   #20
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Re: Grandparents watching kids?

My parents and my kids' other grandparents have always done a lot of babysitting, but their dads have too, so it's been at most half time, not full time. I am a single mother and just do not have the luxury of paying for a nanny, day care, etc., so if your situation is anything like mine, just make the best of it rather than worrying about lack of grandma spoils. IMO, all relationships are different, including a grandparent-grandchild relationship, so consider what's best for you in particular.

I have never paid my kids' grandparents to watch my kids. I would think it's appropriate if it were full time, especially if it took time away from them working or seeking a job. Consequently, the babysitting has always been on their own terms--they get to take them along if they have errands, they can say no if they have other plans (they'll give me notice if it's their "usual" days), and it's always in their own home.
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