Am I missing anything with this "birth plan"?

[3 ladybugs]

I am seeing my OB on Tuesday and I am wanting to talk to her about how I want things done this time around for me and my baby. I talked to her on the phone a few weeks ago so the shock of me having gone through cancer should be over now.

Wish list for C-Section Prior to C-section and during: 1. If an ultrasound before C-section is required, I demand to have it done by someone that understands that babies can be breach. 2. I would like delayed cord clamping. I can’t donate blood or other fluids so I would like the baby to get the benefit from it. 3. I would like my port to be accessed for the IV/blood draws. 4. If at all possible I would like the blood pressure cuff to be put on the same side as my port for the C-section as to help me be able touch my son when he is brought to me. 5. I want to see my son as soon as possible after birth, and I would like to be able to touch him. Post partum and in hospital: 1. I would like to be able to bring my own food in so I am not given coffee right after the birth (in post partum) or something that has “chicken flavoring” in it. I will bring clear liquid diet from home that can be heated in the microwave and/or stored in a cooler. I understand that this is important for after the C-section. I will also bring other healthy selections as per our current diet for when I am able to eat solids again. 2. I would like my PET scan (ordered by Dr. N...) before I leave the hospital. Baby and Child care (NICU): 1. I do not want my child to get eye drops after birth. 2. I would like to be notified (while I am in the hospital) ASAP if the baby gets a procedure such as UA line or is intubated. I am not scared of these or other procedures but I like to know about them before I go down there and suddenly see my son in a state that I didn’t expect. IV’s and blood draws and other common things done in the NICU and don’t have outward or unexpected signs, I don’t need to be notified of. 3. I would like myself or my husband to give our child his first bath. 4. I want my son to be able to see his sibling as soon as possible after birth. This is very important to me and I believe will help with bonding between them. 5. I want my child to be given breast milk only unless a medical emergency. Baby and child care (Well baby): 1. I do not want my child to get eye drops after birth. 3. I want my son to be able to see his sibling as soon as possible after birth. This is very important to me and I believe will help with bonding between them. 4. I want the baby to room in with me as much as possible. 5. I would like to give my child their first bath if at all possible. 6. My son is to be breastfed only unless I am in the period during and after my PET scan.

So what am I missing? I am thinking of contacting the lactation lady I know there to keep an eye out for me. She was always great and will help if I can pump for when I am under the radioactive dye for the PET scan.

Thanks for the help!

[WVflipflopmama]

The first point about the ultrasound seems to set a bad tone. Tone is really important. The wording "I demand" sets you up for conflict, because from there on out the nurse or doc reading it will perceive you as not being flexible. This will lead them to not take you as seriously or perhaps even be put off and less willing to accommodate your wishes.

Every sonographer should know that babies can be breach. If you are having a scheduled c section baby's presentation won't matter as much.

[3 ladybugs]

Originally Posted by WVflipflopmama The first point about the ultrasound seems to set a bad tone. Tone is really important. The wording "I demand" sets you up for conflict, because from there on out the nurse or doc reading it will perceive you as not being flexible. This will lead them to not take you as seriously or perhaps even be put off and less willing to accommodate your wishes. Every sonographer should know that babies can be breach. If you are having a scheduled c section baby's presentation won't matter as much.

My last c section a resident did the ultrasound. She couldn't find my son's head and ran out of the room. My DH and I looked at each other confused. A few minutes later my OB came in and said "Max has a head!!" She then looked for it higher by my rib cage and there it was.

I was 38 weeks when I delivered my son. I had at least 10 ultrasounds with him too.

[Sarahknavy]

I am hoping this doesn't come across as rude...especially since it is first, the ultrasound comment is automatically going to piss off anyone who is reading it and they are not going to respect you... I didn't like reading if and I am not the one following orders...

Just overall... Try to be a little nicer and less bitter in your tone.

[WVflipflopmama]

Oh my, I'm sorry I laughed a little. I understand. I recently had a bad experience with a resident at my high risk OB he totally freaked us out.

Perhaps you could phrase your request to state that while you understand the value of a teaching hospital, you would prefer to have tests and procedures preformed by experienced professionals. Then you could indicate whether you are comfortable allowing students to observe.

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by WVflipflopmama Oh my, I'm sorry I laughed a little. I understand. I recently had a bad experience with a resident at my high risk OB he totally freaked us out. Perhaps you could phrase your request to state that while you understand the value of a teaching hospital, you would prefer to have tests and procedures preformed by experienced professionals. Then you could indicate whether you are comfortable allowing students to observe.

This. Or maybe say you would like to discuss the results of your ultrasound with your doctor (or attending doctor) prior to any surgery being performed. While I totally understand what you're saying OP, the wording sets up a really adversarial tone, KWIM? And it's 'breech', not 'breach', isn't it? Looks like a typing error.

[3 ladybugs]

The first one is a bit tongue in cheek. I could soften that but honestly the rest of them are all because of bad experiences in the past or because of ignorance I have ran into since the cancer. I actually don't mind residents and I am so rare that I would love to help teach the next generation. Just as long as they understand basic pregnancy 101.

For instance:
Post partum #1 - The last time I had a c-section they gave me coffee, tea, orange sherbet (foam), jello, and chicken flavored water (they called it broth but if it was broth and not bullion I will seriously eat my hat!). I could only eat 2 of the things because I know you shouldn't have caffeine when you are trying to get your milk to come in. The lack of food caused me to be on the "clear diet" longer because I hadn't ate in 24 hours and so little food made me Also I was in this hospital for a month with my triplets (antipartum) and I know getting fat, and salt is like pulling teeth in the hospital (even though I REALLY needed it with them). Neither I am looking forward to now.

NICU #2 - My son (take home) was given a UA line and even though SEVERAL nurses and the neonatologist that performed the surgery, remember my late DD, no one thought that maybe because my daughter had lost part of her toe due to the UA line (complicated there but it did happen) that maybe I might FREAK OUT seeing my son with a UA line. So go down to see my son one day as my DH goes home, and I FREAK OUT upon seeing my son with this line. It cost them more time in the long run as then I demand to know and see proof that I am actually going to be able to bring home my son. A simple phone call explaining what was happening could have prepared me a bit more then going down there and having flashbacks of my late DD.

#4 and #2 in Baby and child care - This comes from my own personal experience with my sister's, who is 12 years younger then me, birth. I felt cheated out of time with my little sister while she was in the hospital. The ability for my son to see his sibling and touch him therefore is of utmost importance to me because I do believe that the time I was cheated out of, made it so I don't have a relationship with my sister today (should add that this isn't entirely the fault of the hospital).

My father actually called me while I was doing this list and I told him I can't believe I need to write out all of this. To me most of this is just common sense but sadly I know that isn't the case.

Thank you for the help!

[bigmamakelsey]

Off the top -
c-section: would you rather have an epidural or be put under general?

removal of placenta, I don't know if you have any wishes there but something to think about.

you mentioned breastmilk only, I would also mention no artifical nipples as well (pacis)

your wishes regarding circ, vax.

Also, I'd condense it. Make it short and simple. It's more likely to be honored this way. There is no need to explain WHY your wishes are the way they are (I don't want coffee, or I don't like chicken, ect. just say "I wish to provide my own food and beverages.")

[3 ladybugs]

Okay I think I softened it a bit and took out extra information that isn't needed.

Wish list for C-Section Prior to C-section and during: 1. If an ultrasound before C-section is required, I want it to be done by an experienced professional familiar with OB ultrasounds. 2. I would like delayed cord clamping. 3. I would like an experienced nurse available prior to my C-section to access my port for the IV/blood draws. 4. If at all possible I would like the blood pressure cuff to be put on the same side as my port for the C-section as to help me be able touch my son when he is brought to me. 5. I want to see my son as soon as possible after birth, and I would like to be able to touch him. Post partum and in hospital: 1. I would like to be able to bring my own food into the hospital. I will bring clear liquid diet from home that can be heated in the microwave and/or stored in a cooler. I understand that this is important for after the C-section. I will also bring other healthy selections as per our current diet for when I am able to eat solids again. 2. I would like my PET scan (ordered by Dr. N...) before I leave the hospital. Baby and Child care (NICU): 1. I do not want my child to get eye drops after birth. 2. I would like to be notified (while I am in the hospital) ASAP if the baby gets a procedure such as UA line or is intubated. I am not scared of these or other procedures but I like to know about them before I go down there and suddenly see my son in a state that I didn’t expect. IV’s and blood draws and other common things done in the NICU and don’t have outward or unexpected signs, I don’t need to be notified of. 3. I would like myself or my husband to give our child his first bath. 4. I want my older son to be able to see his brother as soon as possible after birth. 5. I want my son to be given breast milk only unless a medical emergency. Baby and child care (Well baby): 1. I do not want my child to get eye drops after birth. 2. I want my older son to be able to see his brother as soon as possible after birth. 3. I want my son to room in with me as much as possible. 4. I would like to give my child their first bath if at all possible. 5. My son is to be breastfed only unless I am in the period during and after my PET scan.

Better?

[3 ladybugs]

I replied in your quote.

Originally Posted by bigmamakelsey Off the top - c-section: would you rather have an epidural or be put under general? I was given a spinal with both of my prior c-sections would I need to say this is what I want again? removal of placenta, I don't know if you have any wishes there but something to think about. Really don't care what happens to this. DH would probably think I was really freaky if I wanted to keep it and would likely "loose it" on the way home if I wanted to put it in capsules or something. you mentioned breastmilk only, I would also mention no artifical nipples as well (pacis) I can only say this for well baby. My son was VERY loud in the NICU and I don't want to disrupt any micro's around him like my micro was. your wishes regarding circ, vax. Good point! Also, I'd condense it. Make it short and simple. It's more likely to be honored this way. There is no need to explain WHY your wishes are the way they are (I don't want coffee, or I don't like chicken, ect. just say "I wish to provide my own food and beverages.")