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Old 02-07-2013, 07:15 AM   #11
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He is in a toddler bed. Has been since 20ish months. We won't get out of bed till we come in his room. He sits in bed and yells for us. He doesn't usually get out of bed till we get to his room.
Just read this. I would let him know that he needs to get himself out of bed. And bear with the screaming until one day he does it. I would not go get a screaming 3 year old. It's a control issue. Imho

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Old 02-07-2013, 07:20 AM   #12
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To be honest- neither DH or I would allow that. You can want one parent- sure- but you can not be mean or hurtful. I would tell him 'that's a mean thing to say to mommy. You can stay in your room until I can be nice.

Then the screaming would suck. But end eventually. I would go in and talk to him about feelings, ect.

Also, can he not come get you? As in he gets himself up- queitly? My 3 rd old would get up and watch cartoons the playroom is outside my bedroom. He's wake me up. I'd say go watch one show and he would while I showered? Can you trust him to do something like that?
He shares a room with DD. he already wakes her up every morning with this behavior but I don't want to keep her in there while he's freaking out.

He won't get out of bed or come get us. They also sleep with the door closed b/c DH and I are up late and DH is up for work early. I seriously want to rip my hair out everyday.
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:21 AM   #13
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Re: Anyone else have a kid like this?

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To be honest- neither DH or I would allow that. You can want one parent- sure- but you can not be mean or hurtful. I would tell him 'that's a mean thing to say to mommy. You can stay in your room until I can be nice.

Then the screaming would suck. But end eventually. I would go in and talk to him about feelings, ect.

Also, can he not come get you? As in he gets himself up- queitly? My 3 rd old would get up and watch cartoons the playroom is outside my bedroom. He's wake me up. I'd say go watch one show and he would while I showered? Can you trust him to do something like that?
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Just read this. I would let him know that he needs to get himself out of bed. And bear with the screaming until one day he does it. I would not go get a screaming 3 year old. It's a control issue. Imho
I agree with these. I would not tolerate that, personally.

My son DID do this type of thing - wake up screaming and wailing... And there was clearly nothing "wrong" he just wanted ME and not DH. He did it about 4 or 5 times. Then he stopped. B/c DH & I were firm that it was not acceptable behavior. He is still grouchy sometimes when he wakes up (he's 4.5 now), but if he comes out of his room mean and grumpy to everyone, he goes RIGHT back in. I plop him on his bed and tell him he is more than welcome to come on out when he can be nice to everyone. I give a hug, then leave.

5 mins tops, he's back out and calmed down and behaving better.
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:23 AM   #14
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Re: Anyone else have a kid like this?

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He shares a room with DD. he already wakes her up every morning with this behavior but I don't want to keep her in there while he's freaking out.

He won't get out of bed or come get us. They also sleep with the door closed b/c DH and I are up late and DH is up for work early. I seriously want to rip my hair out everyday.
Is there ANY other place he can go? I don't mean for nighttime. I mean in the mornings?

He starts screaming, you go and grab him, put him on the couch, give him a hug and tell him when he's ready to be nice and behave, he can come get you (or DH). ??
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:24 AM   #15
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At three... I would probably let him know (at night when hes in a calm mindset) that you guys aren't going to keep going to his room when he's screaming and yelling. Tell him it makes you and dh feel crabby and tired, and that when he wants your attention, the way to get it is to ______(whatever you prefer him to do). If the option is to say loudly "daaaaaddy!" then practice that with him in a loud but pleasant voice so he knows what you expect, and smile when he does it, say "thank you that's really nice. Wed love to hear that in the morning." But let him know that if he yells and screams you will no longer be answering him. A time frame might help him adjust, like, beginning Saturday morning were not going to come into your room if you're acting like that. Then remind him every day leading up to it so he knows when the change is gonna hAppen
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:25 AM   #16
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Ok, so just to clear this up I do not coddle DS for this behavior. We tell him every time to stop crying, that's not nice, we leave the room etc.

It hasn't helped.

We've even refused to go get him and he stays in his room and screams or screams at the top of the stairs. He gets so worked up he usually pees himself... It's just ridiculous.
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:27 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by kushie tushie

He shares a room with DD. he already wakes her up every morning with this behavior but I don't want to keep her in there while he's freaking out.

He won't get out of bed or come get us. They also sleep with the door closed b/c DH and I are up late and DH is up for work early. I seriously want to rip my hair out everyday.
I'd put her bed in another room until he stops doing this
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:29 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Kiliki

Is there ANY other place he can go? I don't mean for nighttime. I mean in the mornings?

He starts screaming, you go and grab him, put him on the couch, give him a hug and tell him when he's ready to be nice and behave, he can come get you (or DH). ??
DD is always awake by the time I get in there.
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:30 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by kushie tushie
Ok, so just to clear this up I do not coddle DS for this behavior. We tell him every time to stop crying, that's not nice, we leave the room etc.

It hasn't helped.

We've even refused to go get him and he stays in his room and screams or screams at the top of the stairs. He gets so worked up he usually pees himself... It's just ridiculous.
I try not to give my kids any attention whatsoever during a tantrum. It just feeds the current tantrum or gives them reason to have another in the future. Your dd doesn't deserve to be in the room w him while he's flipping out but ime giving him any attention at all will give him reason to continue. I agree with letting him deal on his own, but as I said in my pp I'd try to "ease" him into better behavior
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:31 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by RainandRedemption
At three... I would probably let him know (at night when hes in a calm mindset) that you guys aren't going to keep going to his room when he's screaming and yelling. Tell him it makes you and dh feel crabby and tired, and that when he wants your attention, the way to get it is to ______(whatever you prefer him to do). If the option is to say loudly "daaaaaddy!" then practice that with him in a loud but pleasant voice so he knows what you expect, and smile when he does it, say "thank you that's really nice. Wed love to hear that in the morning." But let him know that if he yells and screams you will no longer be answering him. A time frame might help him adjust, like, beginning Saturday morning were not going to come into your room if you're acting like that. Then remind him every day leading up to it so he knows when the change is gonna hAppen
This is what we've been working on for months. He wakes up and says " please come get me." But keeps saying it louder and louder till we get to his room. Then once I open the door he starts screaming b/c he wants DH not me, but he still screams when DH goes in too.
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