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Old 02-06-2013, 03:46 PM   #1
chandni3
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Considering not circumcising. No judgments please.

It's kinda complicated for me because it's a struggle with my religious beliefs. My husband is intact so I don't think it's dirty and he doesn't have any problems with his parts or with what his son looks like either way. We're Messianic Jews, so kinda Christians who believe in keeping the Old Testament laws and follow many Jewish traditions, which would of course include circumcision. I also believe the Bible is the infallible word of God and that God's ways are the best. I know some intactivists think it's horrible to carry something out just because of religious beliefs, but I don't think they can understand how much a faith can mean to you and be a part of you, not that you do things without thinking, but that it's your framework. Also circumcision is a big part of the community. It's a special celebration, a tradition that links people together for generations, a symbol of belonging, of who you are, of how you live your life. Anyway, I know I can't make someone who is not religious understand, so I'll leave that, I'm just asking they you try to see where I'm coming from and why it's hard for me.
But now we've found out the baby has a cleft palate (it seems to be a minor one) and will need surgery to fix it. That got me to thinking that I didn't want him to have to suffer circumcision too though I don't think that it's as painful as some make out, and we would of course make sure proper pain relief was provided.
So anyway, I've been thinking a lot the last couple days about it and remembered that I had read that circumcision as done in Bible times is different than what they do today. Back then it was only a trimming of the skin at the end of the foreskin. The foreskin was pulled forward, not back, and trimmed off. This left a large amount of the foreskin still intact and it wasn't ripped away from the gland. Infact, there was so much intact that men during Roman (or Greek) times in the arena would pull their foreskin down so you couldn't tell they were circumcised. Because of this the religious leaders changed circumcision to be the removal of the whole foreskin so that people couldn't hide it. So what God ordained, and what is done today are two different things. God's way still allowed the gland to be protected so that pleasure wouldn't be lost. So, what I'm thinking is, unless I can find a trained person to perform a "Biblical" circumcision, which I probably won't be able to. I'd like to leave my boy intact. I'm still struggling if it's the right decision or not, and I might change my mind with more research, I don't even know why I"m writing all this, I just have no neutral people to talk to. All our friends circumcised their boys so I dont' want them to feel judged by me and other friends don't believe the same as us (in keeping Old Testament laws).

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Old 02-06-2013, 03:53 PM   #2
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Re: Considering not circumcising. No judgments please.

(((HUGS))) The bible states in the new testament that circumcision was no longer necessary or relevant. I am sure that it must be a hard decision for you, based on your religious community.

We did not circumcise our son (now an adult) & we never were unhappy with the decision, nor is he.

I hope that you will pray to God for peace regarding this decision.
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:56 PM   #3
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Re: Considering not circumcising. No judgments please.

Momma, you need to do what is best for you and your family! I would not worry about what others think at the end of the day no matter what you choose! I completely understand you not wanting to, especially since he will already need surgery to repair his cleft. No one wants to put their baby through more than they think is necessary. If you choose not to, that's your choice to make. If you do, that is too and you shouldn't feel guilty for it. I totally get that sometimes it is hard not to feel obligated to stick to our religious beliefs even though we sometimes question them at the same time.

If you do choose to, do you think it could be done while he is under anesthesia for his other surgery, that way you know he doesn't feel any of it? Just a thought, I have no idea if that is even possible.
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:57 PM   #4
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Re: Considering not circumcising. No judgments please.

Absolutely not a bit a judgement here from me. I am a mama to 4 intact boys (my DH is circ'd though), but I do truly respect it being done for religious reasons. I would suggest that you pray on it and you and your DH come to a decision together. We personally chose not to have our boys circumcised because we are not Jewish and didn't have any specific good reasons to do it, so it felt like the right choice. It sounds like you have other things on your plate (like thinking about the cleft palate surgery), so maybe give it some time and prayer?
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Old 02-06-2013, 04:01 PM   #5
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Re: Considering not circumcising. No judgments please.

The circ God directed as you pointed out was only nipping a bit off the tip. It left the majority intact. In Genesis God says he looked at his creation and said it was good. This included man in his entirety. So it included his foreskin. He never directed for the entire foreskin to be removed. It did and still does serve a purpose. Maybe that helps. I believe in the whole bible. So for us this includes where it says man need no longer be circed. This makes it an easy decision for us.
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Old 02-06-2013, 04:01 PM   #6
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I understand tradition...but think about why they did circumcisions back then...the purpose...is there nothing in your beliefs that changes with the time?

If you feel the need to do it, find a dr who will do a biblical one as it is what was done, or don't do it at all and still have the celebration.

Good luck!
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Old 02-06-2013, 04:59 PM   #7
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Re: Considering not circumcising. No judgments please.

We had our son circumsised, it was dhs decision, i regret allowing it to be done. My ds is 3 now and i have come to realize that his old pediatrician went cutting happy and his little boy parts are cut to short and uneven. Our old pediatician kept telling us it would look better when he got older but that wasnt true. Im expecting our third and if this little one turns out to be another boy, i will fight to keep him intact.

Last edited by Anna0623; 02-06-2013 at 05:00 PM. Reason: Cant spell
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Old 02-06-2013, 05:11 PM   #8
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Re: Considering not circumcising. No judgments please.

I am a mom to intact boys, even Daddy is non-circ'ed. I didn't let that stop me and would have circumcised our son if it what was best for him no matter what Daddy was or was not. In the end, after all my research and discussions, I decided putting my newborn through a circumcision was not what was best for him.
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Old 02-06-2013, 05:15 PM   #9
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It is a tough decision to make. But it is one that you and your DH will just need to make together. It isn't about what your friends or family think or about what people on this board think. I believe that there are some valid arguments on both sides but I have to say, DS is circ'd and I do not believe that he was ever in pain, during or after the procedure. That is one argument that I just don't believe in most cases. I will say, too, that I have never known anyone personally who has had it done without pain meds and I never would allow that. DS slept through his and did great afterwards.

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Old 02-06-2013, 05:15 PM   #10
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Re: Considering not circumcising. No judgments please.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FernHollow View Post
Absolutely not a bit a judgement here from me. I am a mama to 4 intact boys (my DH is circ'd though), but I do truly respect it being done for religious reasons. I would suggest that you pray on it and you and your DH come to a decision together. We personally chose not to have our boys circumcised because we are not Jewish and didn't have any specific good reasons to do it, so it felt like the right choice. It sounds like you have other things on your plate (like thinking about the cleft palate surgery), so maybe give it some time and prayer?
Very much this!
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