Diaper Swappers

LittleLifeSize · 02-11-2013, 03:59 AM

If you get a BFP and then within days you have the period from hell, similar feeling to a past miscarriage, would you consider it a miscarriage, or just a really bad period? Do you get to count that as a pregnancy? As short as it was? Or was your brain just messing with you? I know a trip to the OB is due regardless, just to get things checked out. But is mourning allowed? Or is it just ridiculous to put excitement into stick that gave you hope for 48 hours. Are feelings allowed past frustration?

s2grace · 02-11-2013, 04:34 AM

I've had four miscarriages, three of them were very early and similar to what you are describing. Yes, I think you can mourn! We all have certain expectations an excitement and when we miscarry that changes. Everyone is different and does it differently. My first mc was very early but I was so so sad. My second was at eight weeks and even more hard. My last two were in November and January. Those were hard and I cried a lot but we had a baby in July who died and for some reason these last two weren't quite as hard (but don't make that sound like I was fine!!). The best thing for me has been to talk about it. We haven't told people before so afterward I called my best friends.

You cry , yell, be angry, do whatever you named to an dont feel guilty. Sorry mama

crunchymamaNY · 02-11-2013, 05:30 AM

Yes, of course you can mourn! I'm sorry for your loss mama. I too had an early loss, 2 in fact. One was even worse than the other though, as all losses and pregnancies are different. There isn't much your OB will do, unless you haven't stopped bleeding, or if you are experiencing something "not" textbook.

erin_c_odonnell · 02-11-2013, 06:37 AM

Definitely allowed to mourn.

I also would not see an OB unless you have trouble stop bleeding or continue to have + BFP a week or so after or have pain. Obs are IMO less than caring.

erin_c_odonnell · 02-11-2013, 06:38 AM

Dp

s2grace · 02-11-2013, 07:03 AM

I didn't go to the dr for the one in nov. but I did in January. My midwife ran a few tests and said if I get pg (no not if, when!) to come in immediately for a beta. It's not considered habitual until you have three in a row. At least that's what my mw says

canadianbakers · 02-12-2013, 10:46 AM

Yes, it "counts". Most definitely. A loss is still a loss, no matter how far along you are. They are different, at different stages/points, but they are all losses.

I totally agree with not going to the Dr. There's really no point, unless something is happening abnormal.
Most Drs are not very compassionate with early losses, and a lot don't "count" them as losses, especially if you don't get a BFP in their office. Really, they just end up making a hard situation that much harder.

momto2princesses · 02-12-2013, 11:45 AM

It definately counts! I had two losses and I think once you get that positive test you have certain expectations and desires for your future, and it doesn't matter whether its two days later or two months later, losing those dreams is hard.

On going to the Dr., if you are rh- I would go to get a rhogam shot. If you are rh+ there really is no need to be seen unless you're bleeding excessively.

ChihuahuaMama13 · 02-12-2013, 08:57 PM

Yes, it counts mama. I went through the same unfortunate experience last month. I'm still very emotional about the baby that should have been, but only was for a couple weeks

**FernHollow** · 02-12-2013, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMama13

Yes, it counts mama. I went through the same unfortunate experience last month. I'm still very emotional about the baby that should have been, but only was for a couple weeks

Same here.

I was only 6 weeks, but it the emotional part was so much more than I could ever expected. I truly did not understand the grief that can go along with an early loss until I had to go through it. I am a couple weeks out from it, but still get teary eyed when something reminds me

OP, yes you are allowed to mourn and feel however you need. I am really sorry you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My MW told me that if I was bleeding very heavily or if a pregnancy test was staying positive after a week, that she would need to see me. Otherwise, even being RH- there isn't anything to do but just be gentle with yourself. I am so sorry. Sending you a great big

02-11-2013, 03:59 AM	#1
LittleLifeSize Registered Users Formerly: calberkeley Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 412 Ratings: 12 Feedback:** 100%	Early Miscarriage? If you get a BFP and then within days you have the period from hell, similar feeling to a past miscarriage, would you consider it a miscarriage, or just a really bad period? Do you get to count that as a pregnancy? As short as it was? Or was your brain just messing with you? I know a trip to the OB is due regardless, just to get things checked out. But is mourning allowed? Or is it just ridiculous to put excitement into stick that gave you hope for 48 hours. Are feelings allowed past frustration?

02-11-2013, 04:34 AM	#2
s2grace Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Midwest US Posts: 1,029 Ratings: 15 Feedback: 100%	I've had four miscarriages, three of them were very early and similar to what you are describing. Yes, I think you can mourn! We all have certain expectations an excitement and when we miscarry that changes. Everyone is different and does it differently. My first mc was very early but I was so so sad. My second was at eight weeks and even more hard. My last two were in November and January. Those were hard and I cried a lot but we had a baby in July who died and for some reason these last two weren't quite as hard (but don't make that sound like I was fine!!). The best thing for me has been to talk about it. We haven't told people before so afterward I called my best friends. You cry , yell, be angry, do whatever you named to an dont feel guilty. Sorry mama __________________ Shannon- married to DH for six years, mom to DD 6/10/08, DS 8/29/10 and Gabriella Marie (Ella), born on 7/5/12 with Trisomy 13 and in heaven with Jesus.

02-11-2013, 05:30 AM	#3
crunchymamaNY Registered Users Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Western NY Posts: 3,424 Ratings: 193 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Early Miscarriage? Yes, of course you can mourn! I'm sorry for your loss mama. I too had an early loss, 2 in fact. One was even worse than the other though, as all losses and pregnancies are different. There isn't much your OB will do, unless you haven't stopped bleeding, or if you are experiencing something "not" textbook. __________________ Hi! I'm a Christian married mama of 4 beautiful children and expecting #5! I love to bake, sew, and learn how spend less money, as well as living more naturally.

02-11-2013, 06:37 AM	#4
erin_c_odonnell Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 2,675 Ratings: 44 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Early Miscarriage? Definitely allowed to mourn. I also would not see an OB unless you have trouble stop bleeding or continue to have + BFP a week or so after or have pain. Obs are IMO less than caring. __________________ Erin- Helpmeet to David, Deaf. Reformed Christian. Homeschooling. SAHM to 5 on earth, 3 in eternity. ISO: DESPERATELY want size 10 Ladder Hill Design bed wetting pants!!! Last edited by erin_c_odonnell; 02-11-2013 at 06:39 AM.

02-11-2013, 06:38 AM	#5
erin_c_odonnell Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 2,675 Ratings: 44 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Early Miscarriage? Dp __________________ Erin- Helpmeet to David, Deaf. Reformed Christian. Homeschooling. SAHM to 5 on earth, 3 in eternity. ISO: DESPERATELY want size 10 Ladder Hill Design bed wetting pants!!! Last edited by erin_c_odonnell; 02-11-2013 at 06:39 AM.