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Old 02-11-2013, 12:34 PM   #1
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Anyone have a DH that was NOT considering a large family?

I LOVE large families, came from one myself (oldest of 7). I have 2 children (#3 on the way) and would LOVE a large family, but DH was sold at 1 or 2 and wanted to be done. He is sure #3 is our last, but I'm hoping we can have more.

As long as things aren't too stressful, he's always okay with talking about a big family. But of course.. on 'those' days, he thinks we should have had less or should not have more.

Does anyone have a large family, and have a DH that originally did not want so many children? But something changed his mind? I'm sure my DH will be okay with more, as long as I can keep working miracles to make everything run smoothly.

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Old 02-11-2013, 03:22 PM   #2
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Re: Anyone have a DH that was NOT considering a large family?

YEP my husband totally did not want a large family--but at some point he changed his mind. I don't know what his pivot point was. I know our stress came from money. We had 4 kids when he was a Senior Airman and that pay sucks--and the fact that we had SO MANY young kids. Once things began to mellow, and we gave up debt, and made more money he was much more open.
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:26 PM   #3
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Re: Anyone have a DH that was NOT considering a large family?

after #3 was born (like, a month in ) I said to dh "so, when should we try for the next one?" and he got this look on his face and he said "how many do you want???" and I said "like, 6?" He said "I was done at 2!"

we laugh about it now, but I tell him that if he is REALLY done then he needs to do something permanent (which I don't think he's ready to do) because I am not done. He jokes that he only wanted two, but he's thrilled with our four and I'm quite confident that he'll be ready for another one in about a year.

I want at least 6, and lately have been leaning toward 7 or 8.
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:47 PM   #4
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Re: Anyone have a DH that was NOT considering a large family?

I would love to have 4-6 children, but DH's eyes about dropped out of his head (and his brain about melted) when I said 4!

However, we are in a TINY 900 sq.ft. house we are renting. DH has to find a new job before his work contract is up in a few months, and financially things are very hard. So I think if/when he gets a better job, and we are settled into a home that is big enough, I think he will be okay with more. Now is just.. a little crazy.
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Old 02-11-2013, 04:01 PM   #5
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Re: Anyone have a DH that was NOT considering a large family?

I told my DH back when we were first together that ideally I'd love a big family with 5-6 children, 4 being probably the minimum. I still vividly remember the look of shock on his face LOL! He wanted 2, so we originally agreed on 2-3 when we first started our family. By the time I was pg with #2 we knew #3 would happen eventually. Then right after #3 was born we joked about #4 being a sure thing since we liked even numbers, but then he was supposed to get a V afterwards. He never did and #5 was a total NFP oops. He tried to say he was "done" at 4 but that #5 was just our "bonus" baby LOL. I recently m/c what would have been #6 and we had gotten so excited despite the fact we had been actively preventing (still so shocked I even got pg!). Now we both are on a similar page of seeing what happens, although I don't know if it will because of some health issues. So my husband that originally said 2, now is the happy father of 5 and would welcome #6 if things work out. You just never know.

I think it is easier for men to say "done" because frequently when asked to make the choice they focus on logic, not their hearts. For women because we are the ones that grow the babies and have more of a spiritual connection to the process, it easier to listen to our hearts and not the logistics. If I try to think about the logistics of adding another baby, the money, etc. it is really easy to try to talk myself out of it especially on a really busy day. When I listen to what I truly want though, it is really easy to realize that our family does not feel complete yet. When you are missing someone from your family, sometimes you just know.
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Old 02-11-2013, 04:13 PM   #6
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Re: Anyone have a DH that was NOT considering a large family?

It's funny because DH is the one that wants the huge family. I swear if he sees a group of "stair step" kids in a large family... he drools with jealously. I think he's be happy with 10! I'm 34/DH is 35. Time has run out. I *might* have 2 more.

I have 9 siblings and he has 1 biological and 2 adopted. (the adopted are young like my son's age so DH didn't grow up with them) I don't want a "huge" family. I think I could be content with just my 2. I'm okay with a 3rd or 4th. But I can't see a 5th. I'm already at the point of being AMA in 2 months. (Advanced Maternal age. ) Maybe if I were younger but I'm not.
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Old 02-11-2013, 04:30 PM   #7
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Re: Anyone have a DH that was NOT considering a large family?

I am not sure we qualify as many but we have 4 and DH was really on on board for 2 at first but he came around :giggl2:
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Old 02-11-2013, 04:39 PM   #8
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Re: Anyone have a DH that was NOT considering a large family?

Me. Dh was on board for 1, consented to a second child, and the last two just happened. Since the economy is so crappy now, and I'm nearly 40, there likely won't be any more babies. He loves his slightly larger than average family, but it definitely wasn't in his plans.
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Old 02-11-2013, 04:43 PM   #9
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Re: Anyone have a DH that was NOT considering a large family?

yep, DH didn't want a large family, but here we are preggo with #5! LOL! Needless to say, he just had his vasectomy last week!
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Old 02-11-2013, 04:52 PM   #10
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Dh originally only wanted 1, but agreed to #2 in hopes we would have a girl to go with our boy. That didn't happen and I actually got him to agree to start trying for #3 this fall just yesterday. He did threaten if we had another boy he would not try a 4th time for a girl
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