Dads rights: naming, circing, etc?

[EmilytheStrange]

Originally Posted by JennTheMomma My newborns would have nothing to do with anyone, including dad/DH at 2 weeks of age, and ds1 was bottlefed.

I guess we are lucky that DD instantly bonded with DH. She always has been a daddy's girl though.

He had very limited time before he deployed - I can't imagine what it would have done to him if she would have refused to have anything to do with him as a newborn.

[JennTheMomma]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange I guess we are lucky that DD instantly bonded with DH. She always has been a daddy's girl though. He had very limited time before he deployed - I can't imagine what it would have done to him if she would have refused to have anything to do with him as a newborn.

I don't think it was a case of not bonding with him, but they knew my scent, my voice, my heartbeat, and that comforted them more than DH. After a few months DH could comfort them, but the first little while they needed me. They were happy to interact with DH at the beginning but with me right there. DH was not bothered by it though as he understood they spent 9 months in my womb.

[EmilytheStrange]

Same idea. He was the only one able to get her to sleep without being on top of one of us as a newborn. I mean, I could sometimes, but she definitely saw me more as boobs

She always ended up in bed with me because i couldnt get her to sleep and lay down anywhere except on me.

Anyways, not the point of the thread but DD wanted her dad as much as she wanted her mom. He was so good at soothing her when she was overtired or whatever.

I guess we were lucky - she seemed equally happy with both of us.

[Mom2Connor]

Originally Posted by CASMama711 My previous post explained the circ issue when parents disagree. They both have equal rights to consent or refuse. I explained more in post #30.

I'm really not trying to be rude but I don't think you understand my original question. They can not have EQUAL rights in some cases. There is only one penis on a baby boy. If they took it to court, someone would have to win the fight. If they will not agree on a first name, someone will have to win.

[Mom2Connor]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange Same idea. He was the only one able to get her to sleep without being on top of one of us as a newborn. I mean, I could sometimes, but she definitely saw me more as boobs She always ended up in bed with me because i couldnt get her to sleep and lay down anywhere except on me. Anyways, not the point of the thread but DD wanted her dad as much as she wanted her mom. He was so good at soothing her when she was overtired or whatever. I guess we were lucky - she seemed equally happy with both of us.

Same experience here! All babies know mom for 9 months in their womb, and our DS loved and bonded to daddy from day one just as well as me. Honestly I think he had an easier time with him than I did!

[ulawolf]

Originally Posted by Mom2Connor Same experience here! All babies know mom for 9 months in their womb, and our DS loved and bonded to daddy from day one just as well as me. Honestly I think he had an easier time with him than I did!

Yep. My kids are all daddy kids including 10 month old.I do find it interesting that so many moms don't feel dads should get equal rights when babies are small. I wouldnt want to have my baby go back and fourth but I would do it.

My great nephew is very content. I get to watch him all the time . I will say that mom is not the most stable and my nephew gets the baby more often than not so she can go out.
I do not agree that baby needs mom more than anyone else if nursing isn't involved.

[becky1231]

Originally Posted by ulawolf Actually from what I understand if you are legally married to the father the moment the child is born he is just as legally responsible and has equal rights. In Michigan that includes if the child isn't biologically his. This came up during my divorce. I found out I was pregnant two weeks before my final divorce hearing (years in the process) and my lawyer told me not to tell the court. My ex would have legal claim and responsibility to that baby because it was conceived while still married. I'm not sure how it worked I just know that the lawyer said it was a big deal.

I am also in Michigan and actually just had friends deal with this. She had a baby before her divorce was final hospital automatically put her now ex down as the father. They had to go to the county clerk to get a copy of the birth certificate for school and realized her ex was listed as the father. They had the paternity test years ago to prove that her currant husband is her father. But that still isn't enough to get her Ex off the birth certificate.

[ulawolf]

Originally Posted by becky1231 I am also in Michigan and actually just had friends deal with this. She had a baby before her divorce was final hospital automatically put her now ex down as the father. They had to go to the county clerk to get a copy of the birth certificate for school and realized her ex was listed as the father. They had the paternity test years ago to prove that her currant husband is her father. But that still isn't enough to get her Ex off the birth certificate.

in michigan husband is babys daddy no matter what. Of course that would make him financially responsible too.

[AmeliasMum]

In our house, when it comes to pg, birth, names, vax'ing and so on, my DH leaves it up to me 100%. Happy Wife, happy life. I do run things past him, and he always says it's my choice. We like it that way, LOL.

[ulawolf]

Originally Posted by AmeliasMum In our house, when it comes to pg, birth, names, vax'ing and so on, my DH leaves it up to me 100%. Happy Wife, happy life. I do run things past him, and he always says it's my choice. We like it that way, LOL.

I would hate that. Lol. I leave most things up to dh. He does the research and then we go through it but he decided both our dds names, he went through the research and decided on delayed vax, he is the one that even decided we should try cloth diapers. we talk about it all and I throw in my thoughts but I would never want to always be theone deciding everything. To me that sounds stressful.