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Old 02-23-2013, 04:01 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by mmbreb
I would ask a smoker to change shirts and wash hands before holding my baby. I have no issues with this and to me it makes perfect sense. We had this issue and I feel your pain but the conversation with our smoking family members actually went well and even those I thought would be upset were not!
This is what I do. My mother in law gives me grief, but I'm just very firm with her and won't let her touch my daughter until she has washed and put on one of DH's t-shirts. On the other hand a good friend of mine recently took up smoking again and she is more than willing to honor my request. I just put out a shirt and have it waiting for when they arrive. My friend automatically goes and washes and changes her top. I have everyone who holds the baby wash their hands first; even DH so the t-shirt for smokers is only a small extra step. My MIL always needs reminding, but she's just difficult. It's your baby's health so don't be afraid to stick up for it.


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Old 02-23-2013, 10:16 AM   #32
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Re: 3rd hand smoke?

That's a tough situation, OP. Glad to hear your DH & you are on the same page now.

Since you are still PG, I would definitely bring it up now. You can use your PG nausea as an excuse. Some women have nausea return more strongly later in the pg, so I would set up a situation:

* buy some nice clothes in that person's size for your house (pretend it was a future gift set aside)
* have a clean bathroom/shower ready
* put on your best acting skills & invite her over
* let DH get her settled in a room in your house
* have you come home/enter room & get a worried look, start making retching noises & run to the bathroom
* let you DH explain that you're PG sickness has gotten noticeably worse, and has been triggered by smokers outside - you two didn't think of that when you invited her over - let him go check on you
* have him return and say you insist you want to visit with her, let's see if a shower would allow her to stay - and your wife had a future bday gift set aside - we could try those clothes on while we wash hers.

It might work. It likely would discourage long visits (as she'll want another cig, and would have to change clothes/shower again to do so). But it might work out in the long run and either way it allows her to save face while adjusting to the new process.

Closer to baby arriving, you could state that you've done more reading and you'd like your baby to have long visits with her without the smell of smoke as it's a potential for allergies/asthma, etc, so you'll continue to keep some clothes there for her & she can shower when she arrives.
A (usually) happy wife mama to my BOGO girls, DD1 July 2010 and DD2 Dec 2011.
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Old 02-23-2013, 02:10 PM   #33
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A variation of that just might work! And unfortunately after about six weeks of being mostly nausea free, it has started to return. Thankfully nothing like it was before. But I don't want it to get to the point where I have to go back on meds. I actually had to leave work yesterday because they were painting in another part of the building, and the fumes were coming through the vent system strong enough to make me sick.
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Old 02-23-2013, 07:33 PM   #34
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Re: 3rd hand smoke?

When my preemie twins came home from the hospital, we told extended family who smoked that they were not permitted to bring their coats into our home and that they had to shower, wash their hair, and change their clothes before holding the babies. We told them it was all recommended by the NICU.
Christian WOHMama to DD1 7/07 and twins DD2 and DS 11/11
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Old 02-26-2013, 09:54 PM   #35
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Re: 3rd hand smoke?

Originally Posted by ajane View Post
No, you are not overreacting at all. I am severly allergic to smoke and I will not let someone who smokes any where near my children. I get SO irate when I go to walk into a store and it reaks of smoke by the entrance. I proceed directly to the manager and complain. There needs to be a law that you can not smoke within 500yards of a door, whether it be store, restaurant, or what ever it is.
In Indiana and KY probably a bunch of other States peeps can't smoke within 8ft of the door. I've seen peeps walk 6ft from the door leave one foot there and put the other foot out 2ft and smoke. Or they stand 7ft from the door and lean forward to where their head is 8ft from the door (Law doesn't say the whole body has to be 8ft away from the door). Some peeps even take out their tape measures and measure 8ft.

I agree the law should be that they have to be further away from the doors. Even at 8ft the smoke still gets in the buildings.
Older sister to Diaper Swappers member Melhen. Aunt to K and John John
It's OK, next time I'll make you listen. I wish that it were in the power of all children to say that to their parents and to know that indeed they would be heard as we were in those wonderful days on Waltons Mountain.Narrator The Waltons (From the Runaway in Season 3 Eposide 4.)
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