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Old 02-22-2013, 02:13 PM   #11
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Re: Blech. I need some advice regarding appropriate consequences

Chores together and no one gets to do anything else until they both complete the chore together. no meals, no sleeping, no friends and fun.

writing. writing out sentences or copying the dictionary. they have to look up words about friendship and love.

at this point if there is only one thing to take away, the loss of privilege isnt working. i also doint think punishing for a long time like a month is effective for kids this age. they need immediate consequences.

post the family rules about how to treat one another. refer to the rule they broke and then give them an immediate consequence.

"Katie, you hit sister. Hitting is not allowed in this household (pointing to the rule chart). You will write out 25 times "Hitting is not allowed at my home" and you will not get up and do anything else until this is complete"

I wouldnt even let them get up to go pee. They better write fast and hold it Yes, I am mean.

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Old 02-23-2013, 11:45 PM   #12
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Re: Blech. I need some advice regarding appropriate consequences

Oh, yeah, like OP's dd1, my ds1 too is sooo over the "taking things away." He barely bats an eyelid. I've put one of his fav cars in the attic for 3mos now. He does rem'ber it...doesnt care enough. (We dont even have many toys)

With DS1, the one thing that does work is saying that if he continues to annoy-anyone of us- he wont get to go out in the evening/wont get to go to his drawing classes, etc.
He loves getting out of the house.

DS2 however, is a diff animal. Taking things away will only make him wail louder. He will stay stubborn and not say sorry to older brother.
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Old 02-25-2013, 01:10 PM   #13
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Re: Blech. I need some advice regarding appropriate consequences

my 2 oldest like to pick at each other constantly, so their consequence is that they have to share a bedroom. (it's also because they are the 2 early risers and the 2 little guys sleep late). they know that they will be required to live together until they learn how to get along. i expect normal sibling bickering, but it was getting ridiculous! the plan is that dd will move back to the smaller kid bedroom by herself come summertime and the 2 boys will share the bigger kid bedroom, and then the baby will stay in our room, however, they know that if the fighting gets bad again they will remain together instead. my mom actually did this with my sister and i growing up and out of 4 kids we're the only ones who get along and actually speak ot each other now as adults.
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Old 02-25-2013, 04:37 PM   #14
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Re: Blech. I need some advice regarding appropriate consequences

I love the idea of making them work together on a project.
I also like "bonding" them together, but I would personally use that on occasions where the consequence needs to fit worse actions than these.

At what age does the "work together" principle began working? I don't think that my almost 3 and almost 6 year old could grasp this concept at all yet, but I have been waiting to introduce it with eagerness *giggle*
My children are also the type that just don't give a hoot if you take something away. Even with canceling activities. I think activities are not material enough for them to understand and their material possessions are too many or undervalued for them to care
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