Am I being unreasonable? My 11 daughter thinks I am!

[bessaroni]

ODD was just invited by her good friend to a science fair at our local university. She was excited to go and I said yes, however I found out a few minutes later that her friends oldest sister (18 years old) would be driving and not her parents. I know her parents fairly well but not the sister.

I've always had a rule that my children are not allowed to be in a car that is driven by her friends older teenaged siblings. I've never had to enforce it until tonight. This is the first time the situation has come up. Now I'm wondering if my rule is too harsh or I am being too overprotective. Should it be on a case by case basis?


My 11 year old is laying in bed and moaning that it just isn't fair.

[DalesWidda]

Nope, not too protective at all. I completely agree with you. I've only let one teenager (19) drive my children and I 100% trusted her. One time when my 11 year old went to stay at my cousin's house for two days I found out that she let her daughter and my daughter drive around with the babysitter who was 16 or 17. She never even told me that she would be working those two days and that she was having a sitter watch the girls. Who knows what could have happened? I was absolutely livid. I think that if you bend on this rule once it will be hard to reenforce. I say stick to your guns mama.

[waterisntsomething]

I would personally take it on a case by case basis. I would have to meet the girl and see how I felt. I was a total goody two shoes at 18 though and still not a perfect driver so I totally get being cautious about it.

[escapethevillage]

I don't think so.

I will say, that my own child could have handled driving them AND keeping track of them by 18. I would have trusted her completely.

But, I wouldn't have trusted too many other kids at that age. Even when SHE was 18, I didn't trust other 18 yr olds.

It would also matter how far away the college is, and what the traffic was like.

Plus, how much trouble would two 11 yr olds be for the driver?

[JennTheMomma]

I'd meet with the girl. I drove kids I babysat for starting at 16 and their friends too

[tallanvor]

I would take it on a case by case basis. I can think of a couple 18 yr olds that I would trust to drive my kids and a couple that I wouldn't.

[happysmileylady]

As long as she's not a brand new driver, I think it's probably fine. These are 11 yr olds, not the driver's best friends. Generally speaking, I would think that an 18 yr old (and remember, at 18, she is an adult) is certainly responsible enough to handle driving two 11 yr olds to a science fair.

Of course I let my now 17 yr old do her learner's permit driving with her young toddler siblings in the car...yeah I was there in the passenger seat, but she was the driver.

[BeccaSueCongdon]

Maybe case by case - but in THIS case, do you know the girl well enough to trust her? I wouldn't cave to the whining of an 11 year old... Life is unfair when you're 11. ;-)

[*KaiMom*]

I probably woundn't. It's not only the driving but once at the the location...if you don't know the girl very well how do you know if she'll keep track and make sure your daughter stays safe? I wouldn't risk it.

[luvsviola]

Originally Posted by JennTheMomma I'd meet with the girl. I drove kids I babysat for starting at 16 and their friends too

This. It would depend on the 18 year old. I was driving babysitting kids at that age. I teach MS and HS and there are many 18 year olds I would trust with my children. I would hand my kids over to any of our seniors in the orchestra this year. But...I've known them since they were 11. We have a history.