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Old 02-28-2013, 07:23 AM   #11
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Re: feeling awkward about posting *everything mentioned*

Big hugs... I know how cruel people can be... I'm so sorry you are going through this...

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Old 02-28-2013, 07:41 AM   #12
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It does hurt, no matter when you lost that baby. I've had chemicals and I've had a m/c months later. Both types were just as devastating. I don't understand why people make those comments to women about it just being early or chemical. That baby was loved, that baby may or may not have been planned and the moment that baby is known and in your heart you start loving them and making plans for a life for them. It is a loss that can never be replaced.

You need time to heal and mourn your baby. Maybe an online or offline support group can help. I know there are a couple books out there too on m/c loss. Sadly a lot of people in my RL did not understand so I turned online for support. It helped tremendously. One thing that also helped me was research. I researched the heck out of my fertility and tried to heal myself from within. I'm not sure if my baby was finally just the lucky one or what but after 4 lost babies and 2 years of straight trying it did happen (there was also a huge break between the first loss and when we really started trying though.). But please whatever you do keep doing whatever feels right for you. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that soon you will have a beautiful baby in your arms.
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Old 02-28-2013, 08:39 AM   #13
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Research is helping. A ton. I am looking at all manner of ways to help my fertility or ability to carry a baby. It keeps me sane to feel like i'm being proactive. I know the first step is to improve my diet and my own stress level. I have ordered a bunch of supplements (fish oil, iron (i'm anemic), coQ10) that are just good "medicine" for anyone looking to be healthier. I just need to feel like i'm doing something.
Thank you all for listening. I'm so angry and hurt and my SO doesn't want to talk about it. My mom just doesn't understand b/c she doesn't really like kids and doesn't think i should have more. My friends are great but honestly, they are sick of hearing it. But i feel like if i don't get it out, my head is going to explode. I need to talk and express my grief and sorrow at the tiny babies that should still be here.
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Old 02-28-2013, 09:10 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by haydn'smommy
Research is helping. A ton. I am looking at all manner of ways to help my fertility or ability to carry a baby. It keeps me sane to feel like i'm being proactive. I know the first step is to improve my diet and my own stress level. I have ordered a bunch of supplements (fish oil, iron (i'm anemic), coQ10) that are just good "medicine" for anyone looking to be healthier. I just need to feel like i'm doing something.
Thank you all for listening. I'm so angry and hurt and my SO doesn't want to talk about it. My mom just doesn't understand b/c she doesn't really like kids and doesn't think i should have more. My friends are great but honestly, they are sick of hearing it. But i feel like if i don't get it out, my head is going to explode. I need to talk and express my grief and sorrow at the tiny babies that should still be here.
One thing that helped me is baby aspirin. My ob explained that some people have undiagnosed clotting issues. Some can cause miscarriages and it doesn't hurt anything to take baby aspirin daily. I know that we lost the two pregnancies I didn't take baby aspirin with(made the connection later) could be a coincidence but ill just take the aspirin,

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Old 02-28-2013, 09:15 AM   #15
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Re: feeling awkward about posting *everything mentioned*

mama. I'm so sorry for your losses.

I think a lot of people don't understand what a chemical pregnancy actually is - especially since many Drs just pass them off as "nothing" and "you weren't actually pregnant".
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Old 02-28-2013, 09:33 AM   #16
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Re: feeling awkward about posting *everything mentioned*

if I had any I didn't know in trying before my actual second as no hpt ever worked for me. I was scared with the last one here that it was a miscarry . I had blood and cramps really bad for a long while one weekend but somehow yet he held on.

so other than hugs thats as close as i can relate. i know it was hard for friend with miscarry a while ago. i felt for her as i was getting closer to my edd...she was going to be 4 months or so after this last baby here.
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Old 03-01-2013, 04:17 AM   #17
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It's started. And it hurts. And i refuse to take anything right now. Idk how to explain it, but i need to feel this to have any kind of closure.
I put it inFF and it gave me a new chart. So sad. I have to work today and i looked yesterday at my schedule. I have 3 newborns and a couple of 1 month olds to see. The babies are hard for me right now. I want one of those but my body just won't cooperate.
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Old 03-05-2013, 06:14 PM   #18
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Re: feeling awkward about posting *everything mentioned*

Hugs! I had two back to back losses last year. Dh brushed them off, saying it wasn't really a baby yet. I had a few friends who were helpful as they'd gone through losses as well. I'm now 18 weeks with my rainbow. I really do think it will happen for you, but take time to heal your heart before trying again.
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Old 03-05-2013, 08:37 PM   #19
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Re: feeling awkward about posting *everything mentioned*

I know how you feel and it sucks. It has taken a 19 week loss for anyone to take me seriously and do some tests. Nothing abnormal came up there is no reason they can find that we lose our babies.
I have had 5 losses total. 3 back to back and no-one cared. It also takes me at least 8-14 months to conceive when timing intercourse. Again no-one cared.
Now I am just done. After every other loss I was just aching to try again. This time I am broken, completely and utterly heartbroken.
I can't be around babies or pregnant women either. Even worse hardly anyone knows it happened, even though I was 19 weeks. I just want my baby boy back, and the other 4 we never got to meet.
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Old 03-06-2013, 02:24 PM   #20
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Re: feeling awkward about posting *everything mentioned*

I completely know how you feel and its awful I had a m/c in December after a 6 and 7 week ultrasound showed no heartbeat. We go through fertility treaments and IVf, so this was a HUGE blow to us and it was devestating. As soon as I found this out, it seemed like EVERYONE around me was announcing pregnancies and I wanted to crawl in a hold and cry for days. We finally were just able to do another cycle and had a perfect embryo to transfer and my beta is tomorrow, but Im not too hopeful as I have taken 6 HPT's and they are all stark white BFN

The empty feeling and the feeling as though you are being left behind when YOU were pregnant first and now everyone else has these bellies and are talking about their pregnancies... i hate them all for it. I try not to, but I do. One of the friends announced hers the day i was supposed to if the m/c didnt happen and she is due exactly a week after I would have been. I was due on my birthday

big hugs mama, you arent alone, and we will get through this and get our miracle rainbow babies!
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