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Old 03-09-2013, 12:25 PM   #11
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Re: Etiquette on pending items FSOT

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Originally Posted by soshilbutrfli View Post
I'm new to DS and just made my first purchase within the past few days. I was the first to respond, and wanted to purchase near 50% of the seller's lot for sale, including a set of hot items. The seller contacted me, advising of the price upon which she would agree as some items were negotiable. I responded within 2.5 hours and by then the set of hot items had already been sold. I was really disappointed that the seller couldn't even wait 3 hours before selling off part of my order during our negotiations. Although deflated, I ended up purchasing the remaining items from my original inquiry, and the seller was otherwise friendly and respectful. Does anyone have any recommendations on what kind of feedback I should provide to the seller based on the etiquette shown?
I was only saying that if a seller feels uncomfortable selling to a person with low feedback they should ask if the person for other feedback rather than refuse to sell to them. I was told something was "pending" yet it was still for sell later. I have less than 10 feedback BUT have obviously been around a while if you look at my post count. I personally would give someone my Ebay link if they asked as I have plenty of feedback there. I personally was a little offended that either the seller didn't bother to tell me the pending item was not sold/deal fell through or that they just didn't want to sell to me.

Those are not real rules... I just made them up. It's what I *think* is good etiquette and if both parties followed them would eliminate problems & feelings getting hurt.

**Although you may have been "the first to respond" on the actual thread, a majority of people PM the seller. (You only need 5 or 6 posts in non FSOT threads to PM) So you may not have been the 1st person to contact the seller. OR they might not have seen your reply in the thread till after they started negotiations in PMs. When you get a PM (private message), it will give the receiver pop up a message if they are on-line. Some sellers don't check the threads except to bump them twice a day.

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Old 03-09-2013, 12:37 PM   #12
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Re: Etiquette on pending items FSOT

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Positive. Unless you said, yes, I want these items, send me your pay pal address, they were not called for.
Thank you for your response. The hot items were included in my initial inquiry. She responded with a price for all items and provided her paypal address if I agreed (of course, stating to confirm before sending payment). I confirmed with yes, I want all items, 2.5 hours later. She then said she sold the hot items while she was awaiting my response. We were then forced to renegotiate prices for the remaining items available.

If she couldn't wait even 2.5 hours for my response, she should've mentioned that she was likely to sell the hot items to another buyer if I didn't respond within a designated timeframe, or even if another buyer had made a better offer on those items (more than her asking price, which I'd offered to pay in my first inquiry), she should state that they weren't available, even though I was the first to respond.

The final order, less these items, has not yet arrived, and the condition of the items (compared to as described in the posting) will have an affect on my final feedback. I just don't feel like 2.5 hours was enough time to allow a response. In fact, I thought I was being swift in communications. Not swift enough, I suppose.

Last edited by soshilbutrfli; 03-09-2013 at 12:40 PM.
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Old 03-09-2013, 12:53 PM   #13
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Re: Etiquette on pending items FSOT

@Rdesonia:

When the seller replied to my post on her thread (to me via email), the response was as if the items were still available for me. By the time I was able to confirm 2.5 hours later, she'd sold them off to someone else.

I agree, your examples are just guidelines. I understand that many sellers are highly motivated. But was offended that she couldn't wait for me to confirm before agreeing to sell to another buyer. And I'd be equally offended if the items she denied me because she sold while waiting for me turned up in another post without first offering them back to me (similar to your scenario).

The lesson to be learned perhaps is that we may set as many guidelines and best practice etiquette as we like, but we as buyers are really at the mercy of the seller. If we truly desire the item(s) for sale, we have to accept that we may not always get what we want, even if we do follow those best practice etiquette guidelines.
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Old 03-21-2013, 10:57 AM   #14
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Re: Etiquette on pending items FSOT

Is there a sticky on this? If not, there should be!
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Old 03-21-2013, 12:14 PM   #15
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Re: Etiquette on pending items FSOT

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1. A seller should always tell the first person they have a set time limit to pay when you give your paypal address & the total.
2. A seller should let the 2nd person know the item is pending. If the item sells, tell them so they can move on. If it doesn't sell, follow up to ask if they are still interested.
3. A seller should mark the item as "pending" in your listing.
4. A seller should Always mark the item as sold when you get paypal.
5. A seller should NOT tell someone with low feedback an item is "pending" and a month later still have it for sell. (They more than likely can provide a 2nd source of feedback like ebay to make the seller feel more comfortable. Don't use "it's pending" as an excuse to not sell to a person. Be honest.)
6. A buyer should be honest about time of payment. If a buyer wants an item to be held till "Friday" when they will have paypal.... they need to ask if that is okay. A buyer should not assume a seller will hold an item. If a seller does "hold" an item, the buyer should pay when promised.
7. A buyer should not ask for paypal address & total unless they plan to actually buy the item. If a buyer changes their mind, they should immediately contact the seller and let them know!
8. A buyer should not expect an "indefinite" hold. "Can you please hold XYZ till I sell my ABC and can pay for it?" If a buyer can't pay for an item & doesn't have a set time when they will have funds, the buyer should wait till they have $ before shopping. If a seller wants to agree to this situation, they should set a time limit. ("I'll hold it for 3 days and after that I'm going with the next person that shows interest.")
9. Communication is very important and both the buyer & seller should communicate.
If only everyone one do this! And not lie in the listing.
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Old 03-21-2013, 12:54 PM   #16
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Re: Etiquette on pending items FSOT

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Originally Posted by soshilbutrfli View Post
Thank you for your response. The hot items were included in my initial inquiry. She responded with a price for all items and provided her paypal address if I agreed (of course, stating to confirm before sending payment). I confirmed with yes, I want all items, 2.5 hours later. She then said she sold the hot items while she was awaiting my response. We were then forced to renegotiate prices for the remaining items available.

If she couldn't wait even 2.5 hours for my response, she should've mentioned that she was likely to sell the hot items to another buyer if I didn't respond within a designated timeframe, or even if another buyer had made a better offer on those items (more than her asking price, which I'd offered to pay in my first inquiry), she should state that they weren't available, even though I was the first to respond.

The final order, less these items, has not yet arrived, and the condition of the items (compared to as described in the posting) will have an affect on my final feedback. I just don't feel like 2.5 hours was enough time to allow a response. In fact, I thought I was being swift in communications. Not swift enough, I suppose.
I would be careful when it comes to leaving bad feedback. On sites like this, you really shouldn't leave negative feedback unless the items were completely not as described or you didn't get them at all. Just because the someone else was moving quicker than you is not reason enough to leave bad feedback.
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Old 03-22-2013, 12:24 PM   #17
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Re: Etiquette on pending items FSOT

I think 24-36 hours is adequate. If you want to transaction to go smoother you can always just set a time limit for a response in your first post.
That 2.5 hours is ridiculous though, over-eager beaver much?
I agree that there should be a sticky or something on this.
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Old 04-03-2013, 12:34 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Nerissa
I give 24 hours after I send my pp addy for them to pay. I also let the other person interested what is going on.
This exactly.

But- I don't want to go back and forth about an item for several days either. I give detailed descriptions in the thread, I don't mind answering questions (then I usually add that info to the thread) but emailing for a week with questions..... Especially when I have others in line.
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:41 PM   #19
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Re: Etiquette on pending items FSOT

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Originally Posted by mebl0901 View Post
I would be careful when it comes to leaving bad feedback. On sites like this, you really shouldn't leave negative feedback unless the items were completely not as described or you didn't get them at all. Just because the someone else was moving quicker than you is not reason enough to leave bad feedback.
This exactly. From what I've seen, when negative feedback is left, it's a BAD transaction.
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:50 PM   #20
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I had someone say they were interested but needed to sleep on it to which I replied I would give them until the end of the day (today) to decide before moving on to second person who says they want my pay pal info. I never heard back from first person about 7 hours ago, if they didn't actually request pp info is it wrong of me to move to second person? Or should I wait for first person to make up their mind?
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